BUT, in the Rebuilds, I've noticed some almost certainly coincidental similarities between Rebuild 1 and 2 and NXE. Spoilers ahead, if anybody still gives a crap about NGE, but *somehow* hasn't seen it yet.

For the uninitiated, Rebuild 1 is basically a condensed retelling of the first five episodes of the series, but everything is slightly different, slightly *wrong*. The oceans are blood red. The moon has a red streak on it - It honestly looks similar to how it was left at the end of End of Evangelion - and Sachiel is noted as being the *fourth* Angel, with all of the numbering being likewise advanced one.

Then, Rebuild 2 starts going off the rails, with an Angel being fought off by a new girl in a Provisional Mark 5 EVA, trying to escape from a base where it was I guess being dissected for years, and then Tokyo-3 getting attacked by a completely new Angel that looks kinda like a drinky bird, which Asuka takes out on her own while airdropping from the sky. ALSO airdropping from the sky is Mari, the one who piloted Unit 5. She's just here to be Asuka Mark II later. Asuka's relationship with Shinji starts rocky as normal, but it soon starts softening...and then Unit 3 shows up and she's selected to be the pilot for the test. The usual thing happens, then the headless cow shows up, now a mummy thing. Mari goes out with EVA-02, does some cool shit kinda like Asuka did in End of Evangelion, taking away her biggest claim to fame. This will be a bit of a running theme as we continue.

Anyway, Zeruel rips everybody a new asshole, as usual, but this time, *eats EVA-00* from the shin up (And comically spits out it's helmet) and absorbing it and Rei. This kicks Shinji into overdrive and makes him sack up - and this time he isn't letting his Mom handle things. He's in full-ass control of EVA-01 (Well, subconsciously at least) as he annihilates Zeruel and forces his way inside of it's core to retrieve Rei, kickstarting EVA-01's evolution to Godhood through *sheer force of will alone, in order to save Rei*. This starts Third Impact, because the cost of creating the new transcendent life form is, apparently, wiping away the previous one.

So Kaworu spears him from the moon and stops it. Up to here I've just watched, the rest is from my memories of the last two Rebuilds.

AND THEN REBUILD 3 STARTS, WITH ANNO IN FULL CONTROL OF THINGS. Apparently having seen Shinji do something on his own (and having Misato cheering him on!) and gone 'What the fuck did you do to my whiny little pissbaby?? You've almost ruined him! I need to spend a movie getting him back on track as a horribly traumatized creator stand in! I mean protagonist!'

So, more than a decade has passed and Shinji has just woken up. He has no idea what the fuck, nobody will tell him what the fuck, and tells him that if he ever *thinks* about piloting an EVA again, then they'll blow his head off with a bomb collar. And Misato, who had been cheering him on a half hour before in screen time, (counting the end credits of Rebuild 2) is blaming him for everything and personally holding the trigger for the bomb. And Asuka is awake and alive and hates him because he tried to kill her??? I guess nobody in the last decade plus told her that it was Gendou?? And when Rei attacks to try to rescue him, of course he decides to just fuckin' leave because he's clearly so loved where he is, and MAYBE he'll actually get some answers.

So he goes with Rei back to the crater formally known as NERV, gets told everything, but heavy on the blaming of him for the death of another 90% or so of humanity, meets Kaworu, they're *astoundingly* gay together, good for them, and they become Drift Compatible and tandem-pilot an EVA to supposedly undo it all, but whoops, it's another Gendou Special, and fuck all y'all, so Kaworu dies in front of Shinji again, this time by the collar Shinji was fitted with, which puts Shinji into a fugue state, where he's abused by Asuka.

Then rebuild 4 picks up immediately after that, with Asuka *continuing* to abuse him, physically and emotionally, as well as force-feeding him because he isn't bothering to eat, her abuse SOMEHOW makes him come out of his trauma, because THAT makes fuckin' sense, get fucked in the eye socket, Anno, and he goes back to the people who wanted to blow his head up without telling him why, where he's immediately locked back up. Oh, and Rei melts into Tang in front of his eyes, because Gendou wanted to get in another 'fuck you, Shinji' for no reason I remember other than pettiness - Gendou had everything lined up for his grand plan by then.

So some pseudomystical bullshit happens, Shinji's sync ratio is actually infinite rather than zero, and reality is rewritten so that EVAs never existed while Shinji gives everyone happy endings, including his fuckass father for some reason, and Anno goes 'What a clever writer and director I am, now screw you guys, I'm going home' to the audience.

....Oh, and Mari ends up doing most of the awesome shit over Asuka, and ends up with Shinji in the end because she's Mary Magdelene or something??

....*cough* but anyway, I kinda noticed some NXE-ness in Rebuild but now that I've written that out I can't actually place what it was anymore. I recall Gryph saying he's unlikely to ever watch them, so, yeah, even if some of the time frames match up, which I don't even think they do, it's gotta be coincidental~

--
Jen Dantes - Darth Mephron
Haberdasher to Androids, Dark Lady of Sith Tech Support.
"And Remember! Google is your Friend!!"

Yeah, yeah, and like a fine wine the relationship between the spy girl and the fat, stinky, balding Russian pig guy only gets better, and that's disgusting.

Enter Leonard Nimoy/Bill Bixby type, he hands them a megaton of TNT and leads them into the woods, and suddenly they're having a teary departure like we're supposed to care, we didn't even know the guy was supposed to be a Brit. All he did was say things like "cheerio" and "good boy," gah.

Then Suey the Pig Girl gets shot, in the least dramatic scene since Date with an Angel; Spy Guy muffs the bombing on the missile guarded by the Fotomat, and then he gets shot in the same place as Suey the Pig Girl.

Cut to New York, where Art Metrano and Harry Connick eat pizza and buy ties for their stupid girlfriends, and then Harry Truman gets off a plane by the sewage dump, and then a blind guy goes by and says, "Help me." What the hell was that supposed to be?!

And then there's the glorious ending where the whole center of New York is destroyed, except for the perimeter, and all we learn is that you're supposed to live in the suburbs, not in the city!

--G.
typed that whole thing from memory
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

> And Asuka is awake and alive and hates him because he tried to kill her??? I guess nobody in the last decade plus told her that it was Gendou??

SO, it turns out (though we only learn this in Rebuild 4), she was mad at him because he couldn't decide to save her or kill her, because he didn't want to be responsible??

> Oh, and Rei melts into Tang in front of his eyes, because Gendou wanted to get in another 'fuck you, Shinji' for no reason I remember other than pettiness - Gendou had everything lined up for his grand plan by then.

I was right, Gendou didn't calibrate that Rei properly so she'd die after spending time with him 'to teach him a lesson'. As if he hadn't been dealing with loss his whole fucking life.

> ....Oh, and Mari ends up doing most of the awesome shit over Asuka, and ends up with Shinji in the end because she's Mary Magdelene or something??

Oh I'm sorry, she's MARIA ISCARIOT, what was I thinking her being Mary Magdelene, how ridiculous that was. Now everything makes PERFECT sense!

EDIT TO ADD: So, Shinji gives everybody a happy ending....including sending people back to the world safely....then rewrites reality so EVAs never existed. So...what was the point of that?

A Wiki here states that it's unclear if Shinji and Mari ever got out of Minus Space so I suppose they're just stuck in a place where reality is just whatever they perceive it to be and their old world was left alone, but like. I can only work with what I was given here. Which isn't much.

Now where's my copium?

*sob*

"I feel I was denied. Critical. Need to know. Information."

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter

I'll stick to NXE, my head's messed up enough as is (and if I wanted a real mind fuck, I'd just rewatch Perfect Blue and save about 10 hours).

Offsides

[...] in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.
-- David Ben Gurion
EPU RCW #π
#include <stdsig.h>