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Subject: "Crucible"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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Conferences Undocumented Features General Topic #2127
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Verbena
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319 posts
Jun-06-11, 11:03 PM (EDT)
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"Crucible"
 
   Yesssss~!

Been waiting for this for a long time and enjoyed it immensely.

"They say one should not speak unkindly of the dead, so I say, 'nice try'." --Lezard


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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  RE: Crucible nitehawk Jun-07-11 1
     RE: Crucible Leafdance Jun-07-11 2
  RE: Crucible The Traitor Jun-07-11 3
  RE: Crucible Matrix Dragon Jun-08-11 4
     RE: Crucible Star Ranger4 Jun-08-11 5
         RE: Crucible Gryphonadmin Jun-08-11 7
             RE: Crucible Star Ranger4 Jun-08-11 8
                 RE: Crucible Gryphonadmin Jun-08-11 9
                     RE: Crucible Star Ranger4 Jun-28-11 32
     RE: Crucible Gryphonadmin Jun-08-11 6
         RE: Crucible Star Ranger4 Jun-08-11 10
         RE: Crucible Matrix Dragon Jun-08-11 12
         RE: Crucible mdg1 Jun-09-11 17
  RE: Crucible MOGSY Jun-08-11 11
  RE: Crucible Zemyla Jun-08-11 13
     RE: Crucible Gryphonadmin Jun-08-11 14
         RE: Crucible StClair Jun-09-11 15
             RE: Crucible Gryphonadmin Jun-09-11 16
         RE: Crucible McFortner Jun-09-11 18
             RE: Crucible StClair Jun-10-11 23
  RE: Crucible JeanneHedge Jun-10-11 19
  RE: Crucible starless Jun-10-11 20
     RE: Crucible Gryphonadmin Jun-10-11 21
         RE: Crucible starless Jun-10-11 22
         RE: Crucible Senji Jun-12-11 24
             RE: Crucible Gryphonadmin Jun-12-11 25
  RE: Crucible Meagen Jun-15-11 26
     RE: Crucible Star Ranger4 Jun-15-11 27
     RE: Crucible Gryphonadmin Jun-15-11 28
     RE: Crucible Peter Eng Jun-15-11 29
         RE: Crucible Gryphonadmin Jun-15-11 30
  RE: Crucible Prince Charon Jun-27-11 31

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nitehawk
Member since Feb-14-09
3 posts
Jun-07-11, 00:49 AM (EDT)
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1. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #0
 
   Well dang, I didn't see this coming.
I see you took a chunk of Macross Plus, mixed it in with the usual suspects and made it even better!
Damm you’re good.
As duelist Koru is very good at thinking outside the box.
The AI, not so much. :)


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Leafdance
Member since Oct-4-07
57 posts
Jun-07-11, 05:38 AM (EDT)
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2. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #1
 
   Gryph..don't take this the wrong way...but...I love ya man!

carpe librum

Carpe Librum


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The Traitor
Member since Feb-24-09
271 posts
Jun-07-11, 06:28 AM (EDT)
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3. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #0
 
   I quite agree. Filtering the UF-verse's fighter pilots through the plot of Christine was a masterstroke - it really works in the setting. Love it. Keep up the good work, everyone!

Though we all of us know you will...

---
"Yeah, I'm definitely going to hell/But I'll have all the best stories to tell" -- Frank Turner, The Ballad of Me and My Friends


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Matrix Dragon
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1195 posts
Jun-08-11, 08:48 AM (EDT)
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4. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #0
 
   The first thing that occurred to me here, besides the observation that Guld was indeed suffering from the mental problems the 21 tends to cause, was satisfaction in how you handled Isamu. For some reason, a lot of stories I see him in have him as near-perfect, calm, mature, and generally out of character. Having people like him, but react to him like the jackass he can often be. The line about 'third-grade mentality' amused me.

Cally being awesome in dealing with the General Galaxy was awesome.

Daystrom, Daystrom, where have I heard... ohhh damn. Whoever came up with that particular idea, I salute you.

The Cylons showing up, I didn't expect. I was thinking that Kouzes showdown would go wrong somehow, possibly with Gulds instability leading to him somehow bringing live ammo to the fight like in the anime, leaving Isamu and Kouze in serious trouble. Not sure how that would work with competent ground crews though, and this way is much better, allowing for a big action sequence with all sorts of guest cameos. The line about Highball flying a simulator into combat cracked me up. Hal Jordan is a good fit for the WDF.

Isamu being shot in the back as Guld loses it was a surprise, but it does show just how far gone Guld was thanks to the 21s flaws. Kouze talking him down, more or less, was nicely done, followed by even more action and a rather desperate move, leading to the pair of them in the desert. Impressive, how she managed to find Guld in the middle of a rather violent landing. How injured was Isamu from his ejection, just out of curiosity?

The discussion in the brig wasn't bad, although if Guld knew about the multitronic system, I'd say he'd still be in a bit of trouble, to say nothing of the damage his reputation's taken. Having the Art of Noise show up for the celebrations was a nice touch.

Good story, I certainly enjoyed it.

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter


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Star Ranger4
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Jun-08-11, 11:48 AM (EDT)
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5. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #4
 
   >Kouze
>talking him down, more or less, was nicely done, followed by even more
>action and a rather desperate move, leading to the pair of them in the
>desert.

Which, I assume was *sort* of an inverted varient of "How'd you solve the icing" gambit from the Iron man movie, in and of in this case it was the heat from re-entry cooking the Sturmvolgel's electronics (via the opening left by the ejection capsule) before it could finish Kouze or the heat did. In true movie fashion, though, we can see in our minds eye how the 21 'dies' moments before it can off Kouzu and then seconds later her own system fail, leaving Seraph Blue unable to recover but Kouzu able to manage the crash well enough to a) survive and b) be close enough to check on and help Guld. Without G having to SHOW us... in fact the way its written is even more powerfull because we JUST DONT KNOW until the POV arrives.

And G... AWESOME music choices, I especially love how you segued so smoothly from the top gun fighting music to the other awesome heroics implied by the music choices from Backdraft.

Oh, and props to Terror for Terrorizing Dyson but then letting him off the hook like any good Areojock knows how.


Of COURSE you wernt expecting it!
No One expects the FANNISH INQUISITION!
RCW# 86


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Gryphonadmin
Charter Member
10592 posts
Jun-08-11, 12:44 PM (EDT)
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7. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #5
 
   >In true movie fashion, though, we can see in our
>minds eye how the 21 'dies' moments before it can off Kouzu and then
>seconds later her own system fail, leaving Seraph Blue unable to
>recover but Kouzu able to manage the crash well enough to a) survive
>and b) be close enough to check on and help Guld.

Pretty close, yeah. SERAPH BLUE didn't suffer a systems failure; its telemetry flatlined back at base because the antenna array got cooked, but the ship was live and online all the way down. It crashed anyway, but that was because the aerodynamics were screwed, not because of a loss of power (which is how Kozue was able to make sure she'd be near Guld's landing site before she stopped wrestling with it and let it come down). There wasn't really a way of coming right out and explaining that part after the fact that I could see, not without making it about as obvious as, well, this paragraph. :)

I considered constructing the whole sequence, but it would have been a lot like recycling the crash scene from Star-Crossed, and in the end I decided it would give the ending a little more kick to switch over to Cally just after the fireworks started and give a nod to the "Ridley finds Yeager walking out of the desert" scene from The Right Stuff instead.

Glad you liked the music. If there's one thing I've got a lot of in my library, it's dogfight/chase scene music. (In fact, I have iTunes playlists called "Music for Car Chases" and "Music for Asteroid Racing". :)

--G.
"Hey, Cally, you got any Beemans? ... Well, loan me some, willya, I'll pay you back later."
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Star Ranger4
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Jun-08-11, 12:59 PM (EDT)
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8. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #7
 
   >It crashed anyway,
>but that was because the aerodynamics were screwed, not because of a
>loss of power

Umm yes, quite. I guess it wasn't clear in my comments, but yes, I'd assumed the crash was caused by further damage to the already damaged control surfaces by the heat of re-entry. And that the loss of Telemetry was caused by the re-entry ionization (though the attenae getting cooked off is just a more detailed explaination of that, really) not the two aircraft failing catastropicly. Rather, that it was, as it is now, the cross your fingers and hope moment of re-entry for the crowd on the ground (okay, there's the LOS from Ionization, now all we can do is wait and pray for her to come out the other side)


Of COURSE you wernt expecting it!
No One expects the FANNISH INQUISITION!
RCW# 86


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Gryphonadmin
Charter Member
10592 posts
Jun-08-11, 01:04 PM (EDT)
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9. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #8
 
   >And that the loss of
>Telemetry was caused by the re-entry ionization

Ah, I gotcha. I imagine there are ways of telecommunicating in the 25th century that are indifferent to the ionization radio blackout, though, such that the complete loss of telemetry from SERAPH BLUE was at least cause for concern (which is why Cally was out there with the crash truck).

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Star Ranger4
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1862 posts
Jun-28-11, 04:16 AM (EDT)
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32. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #9
 
   >>And that the loss of
>>Telemetry was caused by the re-entry ionization
>
>Ah, I gotcha. I imagine there are ways of telecommunicating in the
>25th century that are indifferent to the ionization radio blackout,

Prolly part of what the shields do when they're not run down below whatever that charge mark you spec'd in the story was (the other part being not letting enough heat/turbulence in that already damaged control surfaces fail further)


Of COURSE you wernt expecting it!
No One expects the FANNISH INQUISITION!
RCW# 86


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Gryphonadmin
Charter Member
10592 posts
Jun-08-11, 12:34 PM (EDT)
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6. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #4
 
   >Cally being awesome in dealing with the General Galaxy was awesome.

One of the first things you learn as a Colonial technician is that you should always use the right tool for the job. Sometimes the right tool is a couple of burly lads with blasters. :)

>Daystrom, Daystrom, where have I heard... ohhh damn. Whoever came up
>with that particular idea, I salute you.

Why, thank you. It was one of those fun "dovetail" moments that are such a big part of the fun of working on UF in the first place (and originated in a Featured Document I did once about failed WDF weapons development projects, one of which was the X-9).

>The line about Highball flying a simulator into combat cracked
>me up. Hal Jordan is a good fit for the WDF.

I was hoping someone would spot that! :)

>How injured was Isamu from his ejection, just
>out of curiosity?

He wasn't; he just had to kick back for a bit and wait for Rescue to show up. Who knew that desert survival training would come in handy?

>The discussion in the brig wasn't bad, although if Guld knew about the
>multitronic system, I'd say he'd still be in a bit of trouble, to say
>nothing of the damage his reputation's taken.

Oh, he'll get a Stern Talking-To for sure. General Zukowsky passed on a court-martial, but you have to consider the very real possibility that that was at least in part because if she'd court-martialed him she couldn't have just torn him a new one off the record in the privacy of her office. Besides, like she told Cally, he's one of their best pilots and they can ill afford to dispense with his services. He may well get reassigned, though.

As for his reputation, well, if anything, having had a bout of poor judgment while pursuing technical and aeronautical excellence may well make pilots of a WDF nature admire him a bit. I mean, it takes balls to strap on a fighter you know has the Daystrom Psycho-Circuit in it, much less plug it into you head, and it takes confidence like an A-bomb to think you can control it. Yeah, being wrong about that qualifies as a pretty major pooch screw, but hey, live and learn, right? Either way it was badass.

The WDF pilot mentality is a peculiar thing. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Star Ranger4
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1862 posts
Jun-08-11, 01:04 PM (EDT)
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10. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #6
 
   >>The line about Highball flying a simulator into combat cracked
>>me up. Hal Jordan is a good fit for the WDF.
>
>I was hoping someone would spot that! :)
>
*hangs head in shame* would you believe that I didn't get that till Kara told Boomer who her target for the night was?

Though now he needs something different for his moment of awesome since Wakaba has his.


Of COURSE you wernt expecting it!
No One expects the FANNISH INQUISITION!
RCW# 86


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Matrix Dragon
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1195 posts
Jun-08-11, 08:43 PM (EDT)
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12. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #6
 
  
>
>As for his reputation, well, if anything, having had a bout of poor
>judgment while pursuing technical and aeronautical excellence may well
>make pilots of a WDF nature admire him a bit. I mean, it takes
>balls to strap on a fighter you know has the Daystrom
>Psycho-Circuit in it, much less plug it into you head, and it takes
>confidence like an A-bomb to think you can control it. Yeah,
>being wrong about that qualifies as a pretty major pooch screw,
>but hey, live and learn, right? Either way it was badass.
>
>The WDF pilot mentality is a peculiar thing. :)

"Hell, who hasn't wanted to shoot down Rodeo? And it could have been worse. Imagine if Highball was flying it."
"It'd be like that time on shore leave when he got so hammered he was concinced he was the yellow space bug of fear."
"Dammit Mitch, I thought I told you to shut up about that!"

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter


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mdg1
Member since Aug-25-04
542 posts
Jun-09-11, 12:35 PM (EDT)
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17. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #6
 
   I spotted it, and immediately wondered if Washuu had outsourced BRIGHTEST DAY to a colony of midget Andorians.

Mario


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MOGSY
Member since Dec-27-06
233 posts
Jun-08-11, 07:42 PM (EDT)
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11. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #0
 
   >Yesssss~!
>
>Been waiting for this for a long time and enjoyed it immensely.
>
>
>
>"They say one should not speak unkindly of the dead, so I say, 'nice
>try'." --Lezard


In reading this story, I think Dos Gringos said it best:

"Haaaaassss, anybody seen my wingman?
I'm sure he's in a hell of a fix
I scanned through all the skies
But I needn't use my eyes
'Cause that f*cker only flies
Onnnn. My. Dead. Six.

...

So!!! Him, him, f*ck him!
What a way to go!
But at least he's not
Jammin'up
The f*ckin' radio!

Is he blind?
Or did he split?
I don't give a f*ckin' sh*t!
It's all the more glory
For meeeeeeeee"

;)


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Zemyla
Member since Mar-26-08
41 posts
Jun-08-11, 10:45 PM (EDT)
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13. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #0
 
   I may or may not have squealed like a schoolgirl when I saw it pop up on my RSS reader. *shifty eyes*

Now the two unanswered questions are: How did they get a hold of the multitronic system, and given what we know about AIs and souls, is there going to be a YF-21 flying in the ranks of the Dishonored Dead at the end of time?


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Gryphonadmin
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10592 posts
Jun-08-11, 11:05 PM (EDT)
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14. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #13
 
   >Now the two unanswered questions are: How did they get a hold of the
>multitronic system

There's probably a long-expired patent on file somewhere. Most likely labeled THIS DOESN'T WORK, DON'T USE IT, but part of being an engineer is being at least half-convinced that stuff that didn't work didn't work because the other guy was Doing It Wrong. :)

>and given what we know about AIs and souls, is
>there going to be a YF-21 flying in the ranks of the Dishonored Dead
>at the end of time?

I seriously doubt the YF-21's automatic intelligence was a) sophisticated enough and b) online long enough to have any chance of developing a Spengler signature of its own, so I'm gonna guess "no."

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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StClair
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414 posts
Jun-09-11, 01:10 AM (EDT)
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15. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #14
 
   >There's probably a long-expired patent on file somewhere. Most likely
>labeled THIS DOESN'T WORK, DON'T USE IT, but part of being an engineer
>is being at least half-convinced that stuff that didn't work didn't
>work because the other guy was Doing It Wrong. :)

Especially in this case, where the critical point of failure is OBVIOUSLY the original inventor and his well-documented (after the fact) mental problems. Whereas "I" am not only almost as brilliant (and a superior engineer, as Daystrom was more of a theoretician), but also Completely Sane and Rational. Yesss. This time, it will work. It MUST work.


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Gryphonadmin
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10592 posts
Jun-09-11, 02:08 AM (EDT)
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16. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #15
 
   >>There's probably a long-expired patent on file somewhere. Most likely
>>labeled THIS DOESN'T WORK, DON'T USE IT, but part of being an engineer
>>is being at least half-convinced that stuff that didn't work didn't
>>work because the other guy was Doing It Wrong. :)
>
>Especially in this case, where the critical point of failure is
>OBVIOUSLY the original inventor and his well-documented (after the
>fact) mental problems. Whereas "I" am not only almost as
>brilliant (and a superior engineer, as Daystrom was more of a
>theoretician), but also Completely Sane and Rational. Yesss. This
>time, it will work. It MUST work.

Well, yeah, I mean, the problem was clearly not that the band was down. You have to consider the very real possibility that the problem was that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in serious danger of being crushed by a dwarf.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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McFortner
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255 posts
Jun-09-11, 01:57 PM (EDT)
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18. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #14
 
   ... um, hello? I'm alive? I'M ALIVE!

*WHAM*

Michael C. Fortner
"Rule 37: There is no such thing as "overkill".
There is only "open fire" and "I need to reload".


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StClair
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414 posts
Jun-10-11, 08:39 PM (EDT)
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23. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #18
 
   Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was "Oh no, not again."


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JeanneHedge
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Jun-10-11, 07:58 AM (EDT)
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19. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #0
 
   Just adding to the general congratulations. And I quite enjoyed the references to The Right Stuff sprinkled throughout the entire series. What better source to borrow from when it comes to a test pilot setting?

Jeanne


Jeanne Hedge
http://www.jhedge.com
"Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem."
-- Gabrielle of Potadeia



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starless
Member since Mar-8-10
7 posts
Jun-10-11, 08:46 AM (EDT)
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20. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #0
 
   Good to see this all wrapped up. Good times. More FI/RS/SotS to come next on the docket, or are we going somewhere else?

Oddly enough, I was spinning Ill Communication while rereading the Rogue Squadron material, but I was already on "Shambala" by the time I got to the "Sabotage" cue.


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Gryphonadmin
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10592 posts
Jun-10-11, 01:18 PM (EDT)
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21. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #20
 
   >Good to see this all wrapped up. Good times. More FI/RS/SotS to come
>next on the docket, or are we going somewhere else?

Hell if I know. I've got outlines for half a dozen things kicking around here, but which one of them will get traction next I couldn't say. Wish I could; it would make things a lot simpler.

(This is one of the reasons why I've never gone commercial: Can you imagine a publisher putting up with this shit? The falloff in Forum traffic over the last few years suggests that a lot of people aren't really up for it for free. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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starless
Member since Mar-8-10
7 posts
Jun-10-11, 08:05 PM (EDT)
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22. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #21
 
   Yeah, I kinda realized about five seconds after I posted it that that was an asshole comment on my part, all "hurr give more", so, my bad.


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Senji
Member since Apr-27-07
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Jun-12-11, 01:10 PM (EDT)
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24. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #21
 
   >(This is one of the reasons why I've never gone commercial: Can you
>imagine a publisher putting up with this shit? The falloff in Forum
>traffic over the last few years suggests that a lot of people aren't
>really up for it for free. :)

Comments from various authors suggest that the job of a publisher is basically to put up with this shit (and to try and find ways of reducing it).


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Gryphonadmin
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Jun-12-11, 02:30 PM (EDT)
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25. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #24
 
   >>(This is one of the reasons why I've never gone commercial: Can you
>>imagine a publisher putting up with this shit?
>
> Comments from various authors suggest that the job of a publisher is
>basically to put up with this shit

Perhaps, but I'm guessing not generally over quite such a timespan. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Meagen
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Jun-15-11, 08:39 AM (EDT)
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26. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #0
 
   Quotes and reactions follow!

> Why does Dyson have this effect on me? he wondered. It was
>years ago that all that happened. I spent years putting it behind
>me... and now the sight - hell, just hearing him... sets me off again.

>It was the idea of Dyson with a woman, even one like Kaoru,
>that filled Guld with rage. It brought everything back, all the
>things he had struggled so hard to bury, to forget.

Hm. Is this a "you know, the thing that happened in the source material" or a "something happened, THE DETAILS ARE UNIMPORTANT"? For someone unfamiliar with the source, the two can be easily confused.

> It all made sense now. The technique Wills had used to
>sabotage Kozue's Viper suggested a clear cause for her psychological
>condition. Cally was certain of it - but being certain and being able
>to prove it were two different things. She needed -evidence-, and
>with N2907C a pile of charred slag, there was only one place on Muroc
>III where she stood any chance of finding it.

It's like one of those "aha! I know who the criminal is... but how do I prove it?" moments in detective fiction. I've kind of stopped caring about the flying competition at this point, I want to know what the solution is!

> "Sergeant Becker!" Cally snapped.
> "Ma'am," said the MP on her right.
> "This man is obstructing my investigation."
> Instantly Becker drew his Gallant-H90 sidearm, leveling it at
>Markham's chest while his colleague moved up from Cally's left to
>provide support.

This is awesome. Cally's awesome.

I really want to know what the thing was she figured out-

> Kozue chuckled. "I see you've got him figured out."
> "Compared to the laminar flow dynamics of a Veritech airfoil?
>He was easy," Lucy replied impishly.

-but sure, I can take the time for some banter.

> Dyson snorted. "Yeah, that figures. She's a real ballbuster.
>They don't call her Terror for nothing." He blinked, looking at the
>stare Lucy was giving him and the barely-contained laughter on Kozue's
>face, then sagged. "She's standing right behind me, isn't she."

As one other long-running crossover fanfic writer is fond of saying, you can't beat the classics.

> She'd be going up against two of the
>galaxy's most advanced aerospacecraft, meticulously prepared by the
>best technicians their manufacturers had, flown by a pair of top-drawer
>test pilots, in a single frenzied three-way mock combat for all the
>marbles.

Okay, but can we get back to Cally? I want to know what she found out.

> "Oh ho, so that's the way it is, eh, boys?" she remarked on
>the tactical net. "Gang up on the girl? Well, that's fine, Guld. If
>you wanna share the glory with your old buddy Dyson, I totally
>understand."
> Neither of them acknowledged her transmission - but an instant
>later, the YF-21 suddenly broke off its attack run, lit its
>afterburners, and went after the YF-19.

Oh Kozue.

>Since Cally checked her office first, it took a few minutes to find her,
>and the Colonial tech was slightly out of breath as she barged into the
>room and said without preamble,
> "You have to stop the test."

Ah, of course. She couldn't be quite certain until the fight was already on.

> "The control system the YF-21 uses is multitronic," Cally told
>her.
> Zukowsky's eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

Oh, is this going to be another one of those "you know, that thing"s? that's slightly disappointing...

> "You think test exposure caused Wills's breakdown?" asked
>Terror.
> Cally nodded. "Her behavior fits Daystrom's pattern. Paranoia,
>dissociation... eventually, homicidal disregard for people she views as
>her enemies."

> "If that's true, then the way Guld's pushing the system to the
>limit right now... "
> "... Means the system is pushing his -mind- to the limit in
>return," Cally replied, nodding.

Ah, we do get some exposition, nicely worked into the dialogue. Enough to tell me this is probably a Bad Thing.

> "Attention. Attention. Zukowsky ATC is under attack. This is
>not a drill. Repeat, this is -not- a drill. All pilots designated for
>base defense report to your aircraft. Test aircraft return to the field
>immediately."

Wow, it's never just one thing, is it?

> That must be Miria, Kozue thought absently, feeling momentarily
>detached from the frantic reality all around her. Damn, she's gorgeous.
>No wonder he's not shopping.

Poor Kozue. :( Another guy she's fallen for who's happily taken.

> So it was that, as she streaked at full burner toward a
>stratospheric intercept, Kozue saw all manner of strange and unfamiliar
>icons blink onto her tactical display.

...hm, vaguely Tolkienesque turn of phrase there. Like something from the Battle of the Pelennor Fields.

> Hugely
>outnumbered, she applied a trick she had learned from Jackie Chan, her
>pal in the Experts of Justice,

> Never be quite
>where they expect you. Always keep a little something in reserve. Stay
>on target but don't get tunnel vision. And always, always keep moving.
> And then...
> ... the sky was empty.

This is a nice little callback. Jackie's style seems to suit Kozue quite well, accounting for the different setting.

> A moment later, General Zukowsky's own voice came over the air:
>"Priority landing clearance to the YF-21. Major Bowman, I want that
>prototype on the ground NOW. Acknowledge."
> Silence.
> Kozue's palms itched.

Whooo boy. I was half-hoping they'd all get back to the ground safely, but that wasn't where this whole arc was heading, was it?

> "This is important," Cally's voice came back, clipped and cool
>as she almost never was when speaking in person. "The YF-21's
>cybernetic control system is multitronic. Repeat, MULTITRONIC.
>Acknowledge."
> Kozue's eyes widened behind her tinted visor, and her
>acknowledgement took the somewhat non-standard form of a blurted, "Oh,
>sprock."
> Multitronic! What maniac thought -that- was a good idea?!

Ah, there's the infodump, in the form of Kozue remembering all the relevant details. Okay, yeah, that's bad.

> The question was, what to do about it? She had absolutely zero
>problem at all with the idea of blowing Guld away if he was seriously
>trying to kill her; but if he'd been driven to it by a defect in his
>neural control system, that was a different story.

This is a nice paragraph, and one that perfectly encapsulates what makes Good Guys.

> "I mean, sure, if that's how you wanna go down in history," she
>said, "more power to you, I guess. But it's -cheap.- And anybody in
>our world, anybody who matters? They're gonna -know- that."

Nice tying back to the earlier use of "psy-ops". Kozue is something of a natural at those, as well.

> "Omega 1," Guld said, sounding weary and strained. "Request
>return vec - "
> "Error," an electronic voice interrupted him. "Operator signal
>lost. Mission incomplete. Switching to automatic."
> " - What? Override!" Guld snapped. "Operator authAAAARGH - "
>His cry of pain was cut off by a burst of static before the channel went
>dead.

Oh, balls.

> What have you got
>that this thing hasn't? It's faster than you. It's got more ammo. It
>probably knows every maneuver every pilot has ever bothered to program
>into a simulator or holotape. It doesn't feel pain or fear, and it's
>never going to quit...
> ... hmm.
> Let's test that, shall we?

I wasn't really into the previous flight combat scenes, but (especially with the mystery solved and "multitronic" explained) this one was incredibly tense.

> Much nearer, Kozue Kaoru walked toward them, her helmet under
>her arm, a panel of bright-orange parachute synsilk arranged on her head
>in a sort of improvised keffiyeh. Alongside her, his arm over her
>shoulders for support and the metal struts of an improvised lower-leg
>splint glinting in the sun, limped Guld Bowman.

Yay! Everyone's okay! ...and Isamu, I suppose.

> "Whatever else happened today, Kaoru," he said gravely, "I'm
>aware that you probably saved my ass... and maybe even my career. I
>won't forget that."

And then everything was okay and they all had an awesome party. Great ending, well worth the wait.

--
With great power come great perks.


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Star Ranger4
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Jun-15-11, 09:39 AM (EDT)
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27. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #26
 
   >Hm. Is this a "you know, the thing that happened in the source
>material" or a "something happened, THE DETAILS ARE UNIMPORTANT"? For
>someone unfamiliar with the source, the two can be easily confused.
>
Source material. Guld and Dyson were romantic rivals in the past. In M+ she shows up during the flyoff and sets another string of events in motion...


Of COURSE you wernt expecting it!
No One expects the FANNISH INQUISITION!
RCW# 86


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Gryphonadmin
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Jun-15-11, 11:22 AM (EDT)
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28. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #26
 
   >Hm. Is this a "you know, the thing that happened in the source
>material" or a "something happened, THE DETAILS ARE UNIMPORTANT"? For
>someone unfamiliar with the source, the two can be easily confused.

In this case, sort of both. The thought process was basically that people who'd seen Macross Plus would know the whole soap-opera B-plot and those who hadn't would gather from this and general context that a) these two have history and b) Guld has trouble dealing with women, which are the two most important tines on that particular story fork, as it were.

>Oh, is this going to be another one of those "you know, that thing"s?
>that's slightly disappointing...

As Graham Chapman once put it, "Wait for it... !" :)

>Poor Kozue. :( Another guy she's fallen for who's happily taken.

Well, to be fair, in this instance she's aware that she arrived at the party... quite late. :)

>Yay! Everyone's okay! ...and Isamu, I suppose.

Isamu was picked up long before, while the final duel between Kozue and the YF-21 was still going on. I mean to include him in this scene, putting him on the hovertruck, but, um, I forgot.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Peter Eng
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Jun-15-11, 12:37 PM (EDT)
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29. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #26
 
   >> "I mean, sure, if that's how you wanna go down in history," she
>>said, "more power to you, I guess. But it's -cheap.- And anybody in
>>our world, anybody who matters? They're gonna -know- that."
>
>Nice tying back to the earlier use of "psy-ops". Kozue is something of
>a natural at those, as well.
>

I hope it's natural talent; I'd hate to think that this is a side effect of fighting Rose Duels under Akio Ohtori's rule.

("Sure, Ohtori was a total scumbag, but when it comes to playing with people's heads, with nothing more than a wink and a smile? Absolute master. I'll steal a page from his book now and again.")

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.


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Gryphonadmin
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Jun-15-11, 12:48 PM (EDT)
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30. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #29
 
   >I hope it's natural talent; I'd hate to think that this is a side
>effect of fighting Rose Duels under Akio Ohtori's rule.
>
>("Sure, Ohtori was a total scumbag, but when it comes to playing with
>people's heads, with nothing more than a wink and a smile? Absolute
>master. I'll steal a page from his book now and again.")

Don't forget, Kozue - as the practicing Evil Twin - was a semiprofessional bad seed long before she got tangled up in the Tournament. If she hadn't already mastered the fine art of emotional blackmail by the time she ever encountered Akio, I would be very surprised... it's just that nowadays she's using her dark powers for good.

(That's probably a big part of why she's so annoyed at herself when we see her at Chet's in the beginning of issue #1. It's not so much that she got fired as how Guld arranged it. She's sitting there looking at the tablecloth and thinking, Motherfucker totally played you, homegirl. Amateur.)

Although, that said, she's certainly not above adding any enemy's better tricks to her own toolbox - as Baron von Hammer will probably learn if and when they next encounter each other... :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Prince Charon
Member since Jan-11-09
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Jun-27-11, 10:56 PM (EDT)
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31. "RE: Crucible"
In response to message #0
 
   Awesome fic is awesome!

Shustal.

“They planned their campaigns just as you might make a splendid piece of harness. It looks very well; and answers very well; until it gets broken; and then you are done for. Now I made my campaigns of ropes. If anything went wrong, I tied a knot; and went on.”
-- Arthur Wellesley, First Duke of Wellington


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