Okay, here's eighteen to start with. Please add on. And remember, Mark exists in real life as well. Keep it somewhat clean.

1: "Eat flaming death!" may be an appropriate way to taunt your enemies in a dogfight. It is not an appropriate way to taunt your squadron mates on Chili Night.
2: Stipulated: Unless Zoner made the chili.
3: Not allowed to put the CO on the Officer's Mess duty roster.
4: Caffeine is not a long-term substitute for sleep.
5: If you see the XO walking by in a tutu claiming to be the Tooth Fairy, you haven't had enough sleep.
6: Not allowed to exceed 90 words per minute.
7: Yes, we know you have Omega-2, but even that has limits. If your blood sugar exceeds 350, you're grounded--and forbidden from eating Oreos for a week.
8: No ordering pizza over the general combat freq.
9: No ordering pizza via the air boss.
10: Okay, you know what? Land first, order later.
11: _Tale Spin_ is not a training video.
12: The techniques you learned from "I, Mudd" do not work on any Genom products. Try shooting them.
13: Not allowed to lock self in the bathroom and complain about your impending demise.
14: Not allowed to use cameras in any bathroom.
15: Your ship's missiles are non-sentient explosive devices designed to home in on the targets you assign them to and detonate. They are not sentient robots with a death wish.
16: Not allowed to replace tool bays in astromech droid with Illudium PU-36 and eject it as a mine for trailing enemies. The artoos _hate_ that.
17: Using your valkyrie to fly up to the windows of 10-forward and wave at the ladies there will not make any points with them.
18: Ever.

--rR