Thank God. The Weather Radio info here in Iowa is done on a Mac using the Ralph voice, and it just bugs the shit out of me. Admittedly it's easier to do than have person sit and read of the info, but there is something about a computer voice calling out a tornado warning that just doesn't sit right with me. :)

Reverend Hammer
Computer geek who also hates answering machines...

Indeed thus. JJ shows up with the Righteous Flying Piggy Wrath in "The Quagmire Project."

Ard

Ard Sumhenner
Ronin Research, Silicon Valley, CA

....and the galaxy was never the same. :)

Patrick Chester
"...could you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?"

And if you're ever feeling down, take a step back and say, out loud, "Righteous Flying Piggy Wrath". If you aren't at least giggling by the time the last word comes out, you're just about hopeless. :)

------------------------------
"You're a louse, Roger Smith."
------------------------------
Chad Collier
Digital Bitch
J. Random VFX Company

I'm hopeless... but we knew that.

-MegaZone, megazone@megazone.org
Personal Homepage http://www.megazone.org/
Eyrie Productions FanFic http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
See what I'm selling on eBay

And you missed the last train again, huh.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor in Chief, Netadmin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/

Deliberate choice this time. I don't want to come back to work Friday, and I was/am very close to slamming out an entire sub-project that I started earlier tonight. The next train is around 5:30 or so, which isn't too long to go. Just taking a break from the Java/XHTML...

And it turns out a cab from here to Alewife is only like $25 including a tip, based on the one I took from Alewife to here the night I missed the last train in. So that's not a harsh option if I want to.

-MegaZone, megazone@megazone.org
Personal Homepage http://www.megazone.org/
Eyrie Productions FanFic http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
See what I'm selling on eBay

Bah. I guess I'll eat then. I was kind of looking forward to actually seeing somebody after another night locked in the tank, but whatever.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor in Chief, Netadmin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/

:-( Sorry. I forget Truss is working again and is asleep by the time we get home now. I haven't seen him in days myself... He leaves before I get up, and goes to sleep before I get home. Same for you I expect...

I got used to him staying up *later* than me and sleeping in *later* than me - which was a weird role reversal...

I'm hoping they extend my contract, and they're considering it currently, so I', trying to do what I can to encourage that...

-MegaZone, megazone@megazone.org
Personal Homepage http://www.megazone.org/
Eyrie Productions FanFic http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
See what I'm selling on eBay

Meddle, track 4 for at least a toe-tapping smile? (track 5 only makes me outright giggle when watching Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead)

And now that I've started this utter non-sequiter rolling, I just suddenly remembered being at Crazy Girls over in Hollywood a few weeks back and one of the dancers dancing on stage to a portion of Echoes, which was...ummm...unique, to say the least. After suddenly realizing what I was hearing/seeing, I turned to my friend and mentioned that I'd be really impressed if she did all 23+ minutes of it...

------------------------------
"You're a louse, Roger Smith."
------------------------------
Chad Collier
Digital Bitch
J. Random VFX Company

Or you're a weirdo who occasionally answers the phone with "International
Transmutual Conglomeration of Associates. How may I direct your call?"

Peter Eng

Here's some of my examples:

"House of Pain. Jump around."
"Uncle Jiggly's House of Porn."
"Jeff's Cannibal Restaurant, you kill 'em, we grill 'em."

And I've recently come up with what has so far seemed to be an effective anti-telemarketer tactic:

*ring*
Me (Sean): "Hello?"
Voice that I don't know: "May I speak to Sean, please?"
Me: "He's not here right now. May I take a message?"
Voice: "Does he have a wife that I could speak with?" (Alert! Alert! Sales call!)
Me: "I'm afraid not. I can take a message if you'd like."
Voice: "Oh, no, it's just a banking matter." (Translation: attempt to sign me up for a credit card.) "We'll call back another time."

Reasoning:
If it's someone I know, one of us will recognize the other's voice. (And I have a pretty distinctive voice, and a good aural memory.)
If not, and it's someone I know, they'll leave a message, or when they identify themselves I'll say, "Oh, it's me, that's just how I handle telemarketers."
If it's something important but not someone I know (such as something related to my current jobhunt) they'll leave a message.

I do have to admit, though, that by asking me by my first name only, they did put me off guard for a sec. Telemarketers used to ask for me by full name, or "Mr. Simpson." (I used to just hang up on them, but I find this more useful and entertaining.)

-- Sean --

http://www.thebrokenlink.org The Broken Link 4.0 is live!
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." -- Albert Einstein
"It's not easy being green." -- Kermit the Frog

"Hello?"

"Hello! We've called to offer you free Sears Siding!"

"I'm sooooo glad you called Mr. Salesman... you've given me a chance... to test.. my -TELEPHONIC DEATH RAY-!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

<pipe outrageously loud beam sound from some random Half-Life mod through phone>

<click>

TRB

"I wish I was reaper, culling lost souls. I wish I could cast them into deep and lonely holes."

<ungodly evil sounding voice from some video game or another>"Who the hell are you?"

If they didn't know me personally, they hung up.

-={(Astynax)}=-
"Darkness beyond Twilight"

-Craig
Need something to read?
http://www.wpi.edu/~perko

Matrix Dragon
"Now that I think about it, I distinctly remember the term "psycho-bitch" being thrown around in kindergarten!" - Torg

My personal fave answering machine I had:

<perky voice!> "Domino's! Please Hold!"

My friends left messages. Other people didn't.

I had one guy hang on for about 20 minutes. That was a pain in the ass to deal with.

--
Geoff Depew - Mephron
"Big O! Showtime!"

I'm reminded of this story a friend of mine told me:

My friend works in a district office of a national retailer, and she was going through a stack of resumes, calling to make appointments for interviews. She dials this one guy's house, and after two or three rings the answering machine picks up. The message is an absolutely THUNDEROUS, ten second belch and nothing else.

She hangs up the phone immediately, laughing hysterically, and it takes her two hours to get to the point where she can dial the number and leave a message without once again breaking.

-- Sean --

http://www.thebrokenlink.org The Broken Link 4.0 is live!
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." -- Albert Einstein
"It's not easy being green." -- Kermit the Frog

Heh... yeah, that sounds rather, um, unorthodox. I'm currently using something a bit more orthodox (yet still well outside the proscribed boundaries of normality):

"Hello? <3 second pause> I can't come to the phone right now....."

You wouldn't believe how many people end up leaving messages consisting of them trying to start a conversation with my machine. :)

--
Brian Bassett
"That which does not kill us merely
postpones the inevitable."

At one point my voicemail message consisted of:

"Hello?" <pause> "Hey, how are you?" <pause> "That's great. This isn't actually me, it's my voicemail message, so if you could leave a message about what you were trying to tell me about, along with a number and a name if I don't have it, I'd be happier than you probably are right now."

Another time, my answering machine message was:

"Hi, I'm busy traveling through time right now, so please leave a message and I'll have already gotten back to you."

-- Sean --

http://www.thebrokenlink.org The Broken Link 4.0 is live!
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." -- Albert Einstein
"It's not easy being green." -- Kermit the Frog

My cellphone comes with voicemail, and to the disgust of my wife, I set its message to something along the lines of:

"Hi! We're not out at the moment, but if you'll leave your name, number and reason for calling, we'll get back to you just as soon as we go somewhere."

-- Bob
---------------
"Shinji. Same name as the master key -- well done, Ikari. Shinji can't be copied. Splendid plan." -- Tabris, in Tenshi Muyo! Rei-o-ohki

Darn. All of this makes me feel SOOO uncreative. Right now, OG takes my messages for me. OG was a DnD half Ogre barbarian with an Int of 3. Ever since, though, when the old gray matter hasn't been exactly firing on all cylinders, you're having an OG moment.

"Og Here. Mike not. Pretty lady leave message?"

Before that I used the "Captain's answering machine" bit from the star treck comedy tape.
___________________

Vaughn doesn't know I exist. I guess this explains why the rest of reality keeps ignoring me as well. >_<

Yes, I would. I've done this one before.

I got _everybody_ who called my machine trying to talk to "me." Some of them, several times.

Peter Eng

16x9? WWIIIIIDDDDEEERRRRR!!!!

CinemaScope, baby. 2.35:1. Nothing else would do the Wandering Child exiting the sphere justice...that might even be worth of the even wider proprietary format they used for It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World, which was 2.75:1 (Super-Cinerama! Yee-f'ing-haw!).

That or in OMNIMAX--IMAX 15 perf 65mm distorted to be projected on a massive domed screen for the ultimate immersive experiance. And maybe even in the cool LCD goggle 3D as well, although they did the T2/3D film for Universal here before I got here, and there's just enough people still working here that worked on that that would probably throttle me at the suggestion. :) But IMAX film platters only hold ~45 minutes worth of film, and I prefer CScope for that ultra-cinematic look.

The movies in my head rock. Now if only someone would give me $200 million to make one or two. :)

------------------------
"What could go wrong with an old fashioned?!?"
------------------------
Chad Collier
Digital Bitch
J. Random VFX Company

45 minutes? Those must be small platters, or is IMAX film different (thicker) than regular film?

Polychrome, projectionist by trade.

IIRC IMAX uses 70mm film run sideways at a much higher frame rate than normal projection.

-MegaZone, megazone@megazone.org
Personal Homepage http://www.megazone.org/
Eyrie Productions FanFic http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
See what I'm selling on eBay

On a side note, pointing the projection lamps at the sky on a cloudless night makes them visable to passing weather satellites...

-Craig

(used to work in an 'arts and science' museum)

IMAX doesn't run at a higher framerate, your probably thinking of Showscan, which I believe uses a smaller flavor of 65mm (5 perf or 8 perf) or VistaVision (35mm film shot sideways and 8 perfs wide, double the image area of regular 35mm motion picture film) at something like 60 frames per second. IMAX runs at 24 frames per second, but the extreme size of each frame means a lot more space is taken up by less frames, hence the time limit. The IMAX film Titanica was 90 minutes, but there was an intermission while they changed reels.

It also doesn't use special film, it's standard 65mm film stock (Places like Kodak make giant rolls of film and cut them down into the desired width, so it all comes from the same place), the difference is in the size of each frame. At 15 perfs, it's three times larger than the usual 65mm that, say, Ron Howard used to shoot Far and Away (70mm, btw, refers to the print size. The extra 5mm is where the soundtrack gets put on the prints. The cameras use 65mm film.). The larger the image area, the higher the image quality and the better the image holds up when projected on a 5 story screen.

>Also, remember that many
>IMAX movies are 3D and therefore require two polarized projections
>from two seperate reels.

I have to check this but I'm pretty sure they use two seperate projectors for the left-eye/right-eye reels. Was this how they ran it where you were at? (I'm assuming they had an IMAX theater there)

The 3D IMAX cameras are about as big as a refridgerator. It never fails to amaze me some of the shots they manage to get with them.

>On a side note, pointing the projection lamps at the sky on a
>cloudless night makes them visable to passing weather satellites...

The IMAX theater in Ft. Lauderdale has a seperate room off of the projection booth that is just for the cooling system. I used to get nervous changing the 2000 watt zenons in the regualr projectors at the movie theater I worked at (they go up like hand grenades when they break), I can't imagine changing one of those 15,000 watt monsters. :)

>(used to work in an 'arts and science' museum)

My boss worked for IMAX at one point, and the Cinematography instructor I had in film school shot on it on several occasions. :)

------------------------
"We are totally fluxed."
------------------------
Chad Collier
Digital Bitch
J. Random VFX Company

Figured this was easier than editing the last post...

Upon investigation, I've disovered that there is an IMAX HD format that is shot and projected at 48fps, but the only mention they make of it on their web page is in reference to simulator rides, so that might be the only venue for it at the moment.

Much higher quality at the higher frame rate, but you run out of film twice as fast, and it's something like $25,000 per roll with processing. Big toys. :)

------------------------
"We are totally fluxed."
------------------------
Chad Collier
Digital Bitch
J. Random VFX Company

You may be right, I don't remember - but I was pretty sure it ran at a higher rate, on different film. It may have been the same material, but the wheels are, what, two and a half feet across and four inches wide?

>I have to check this but I'm pretty sure they use two seperate
>projectors for the left-eye/right-eye reels. Was this how they ran it
>where you were at? (I'm assuming they had an IMAX theater there)

You're quite right, sort of - this I do remember. It's one unit, but it has space for three reels and has two projectors incorporated. So, although the two seperate reels are running through the same machine, effectively they are on two seperate projectors.

>The IMAX theater in Ft. Lauderdale has a seperate room off of the
>projection booth that is just for the cooling system. I used to get
>nervous changing the 2000 watt zenons in the regualr projectors at the
>movie theater I worked at (they go up like hand grenades when they
>break), I can't imagine changing one of those 15,000 watt monsters.
>:)

Did they? Hmmm... I don't remember that, although I do remember a lot of concern about 'the cooling system', so I just may not have noticed. I do know that the temperature in the projection room goes up about ten degrees after a forty-minute film...

-Craig

Well, it's 70mm wide, so whatever that translates to, I don't have a conversion table handy. :) I suppose they could make wider platters to take a bigger roll of film, but a 45 minute reel at 24fps weighs in at 200 pounds, and I imagine there is a weight limit for the platter system, and in what the projectionist may have to lug around at any given point.

They might have used a polyester based print stock instead of acetate or something like that for durability, given how long an IMAX feature can run in the same theater (and how expensive prints are to make). We had a few 35mm prints come in printed on that when I was a projectionist, and while they were a little lighter they were a pain in the ass because they built up static electricity really fast when it was dry out and, as we were warned, the film would break the metal bits of the projector head before breaking itself if there was a problem and it got jammed because the tensile strength of the stuff was so high. They were also thinner than normal film, and the difference between the trailers printed on the normal stuff and that was enough to throw it out of focus, so you had to ride it between the transition. (or I did, anyway...I know lots of megaplex projectionists don't give a shit--always pray for a film geek in the booth when you go to the movies :)

------------------------
"We are totally fluxed."
------------------------
Chad Collier
Digital Bitch
J. Random VFX Company

Acetate weighs that much? Shit, no wonder we use polyester, Not even Pearl Harbor weighs 200 lbs.

>
>They might have used a polyester based print stock instead of acetate
>or something like that for durability, given how long an IMAX feature
>can run in the same theater (and how expensive prints are to make).

Almost assuredly. We don't get anything but polyester.

>We had a few 35mm prints come in printed on that when I was a
>projectionist, and while they were a little lighter they were a pain
>in the ass because they built up static electricity really fast when
>it was dry out and, as we were warned, the film would break the metal
>bits of the projector head before breaking itself if there was a
>problem and it got jammed because the tensile strength of the stuff
>was so high. They were also thinner than normal film, and the

Um, you must have some cheapass projectors man, when our film and projectors decide to have a fight, the film loses, usually getting stretched. Unfortunately our failsafes are designed to deal with *breaks*.

But here's how you get a long IMAX movie: sequential interlock. Theaters have two projectors for 3D right instead of running both at the same time you have a cue at the end of each "reel" to start the other projector and the film continues without stopping. Give each projector a quintiple platter tree and you can run for 6 hours without stopping. 6 hours of IMAX. Can you say sensory overload?

Polychrome

Had. This was 6 years ago, and the theater was one of the oldest ones in town, so I wouldn't be surprised if the projector equipment was 10 or 15 years old by the time I got to it. The platter motors were twitchy and high strung, and the failsafes probably nowhere near as sensitive as what you might have now. And we were just starting to see the poly prints back then, so I'm not surprised they're the standard by now. The breaking the projector thing was what I was told, so I might give as much credit to the paranoid engineer who told me as much as might give it to being the truth. :)

Someone in the history of the place decided it would be a great idea to paint the surface of the two oldest platter trees with they wankyest motors with glossy white enamel paint. I'd still like to have five minutes alone with the moron who did that. It threw the last 10 minutes of Apollo 13 on the floor so many times I lost count. I have vivid memories of the head projectionist hand feeding the film through the projector from a pile on the floor. Or opening the door to the booth behind concession to be greeted by film spilling down the steps. Bad juju.

>But here's how you get a long IMAX movie: sequential interlock.
>Theaters have two projectors for 3D right instead of running both at
>the same time you have a cue at the end of each "reel" to start the
>other projector and the film continues without stopping. Give each
>projector a quintiple platter tree and you can run for 6 hours without
>stopping. 6 hours of IMAX. Can you say sensory overload?

That's just wrong. :)

------------------------
"We are totally fluxed."
------------------------
Chad Collier
Digital Bitch
J. Random VFX Company

Probably closed then. There's been a real shakeout in the business since then. Half the theaters in our ditrict closed in the past three years.

>twitchy and high strung, and the failsafes probably nowhere near as
>sensitive as what you might have now. And we were just starting to

Our failsafes are damn nigh useless. The usual serious problem is brain wraps, not film breaks. When the brain wrap gets bad enough to slow the film enough for a melt-through (cause the failsafe to go off) the brain wrap is 2 inches thick and takes 20 minutes to unwrap. A more effective failsafe is the occaisional walkthorugh and making sure you threaded right.

>Someone in the history of the place decided it would be a great idea
>to paint the surface of the two oldest platter trees with they
>wankyest motors with glossy white enamel paint. I'd still like to
>have five minutes alone with the moron who did that. It threw the
>last 10 minutes of Apollo 13 on the floor so many times I lost
>count. I have vivid memories of the head projectionist hand feeding
>the film through the projector from a pile on the floor. Or opening
>the door to the booth behind concession to be greeted by film spilling
>down the steps. Bad juju.

Wow. Never had anything that bad. The second Sunday after The Mummy Returns came out I was working the "morning" shift alone and we were interlocking it. I thread it up (which involves hanging a weight on the film to ensure proper tension) and check it. The feed platter was running a little fast, but other than that it looked good. I start the movie and walk away. As the movie went on and the film was removed from the feed platter, the inertia of the platter decreased and a little too fast becomes alot too fast. 2 hours later I'm walking down to thread up a different move I notice that the platter is spinning too fast and that the tail has come away from the stopper. I attempt to replace the stopper, but in doing so I push the film off-center. Geuss what happens next. It took me and a manager with projection experience 30 minutes to get the film back on the platter. We had to corral it with about a dozen stoppers and cut out 3.5 seconds of film. We also pissed off ~400 customers. It turned out that the weight was a half inch away from where it needed to be. Not a good day.

>
>>But here's how you get a long IMAX movie: sequential interlock.
>That's just wrong. :)

Well, you know, I'm all about wrong.

Polychrome

Nope, still cookin'. I worked for Eastern Federal, and out of the two theaters they had in Tallahassee, the Miracle was their biggest moneymaker. The same summer I left, they opened a big 12 house theater next to the better mall in town, and a few months after I moved away my old theater got turned into an art house (they're showing Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Moulin Rouge right now...that's 'art house' for Tallahassee :), and it seems to still be doing well. Having a film school in the cultural middle of nowhere probably helps their ticket sales.

>Our failsafes are damn nigh useless. The usual serious problem is
>brain wraps, not film breaks. When the brain wrap gets bad enough to
>slow the film enough for a melt-through (cause the failsafe to go off)
>the brain wrap is 2 inches thick and takes 20 minutes to unwrap. A
>more effective failsafe is the occaisional walkthorugh and making sure
>you threaded right.

You could have just typed 'brain wrap 2 inches thick' and it would have been just as effective. Ow.

------------------------
"We are totally fluxed."
------------------------
Chad Collier
Digital Bitch
J. Random VFX Company

E.O. Stinson yostinso@wpi.edu
AIM: Eostinso ICQ: 3513296

For the nonprojectionists in the audience, what the heck is brain wrap?

Well,
I could give you a three page explanation of how a modern movie projector works, and how it can break.
OR
I can tell you : it's bad.

Polychrome

Or I could supply a Kodak web page that has a quick definition on it:

http://www.kodak.com/US/en/motion/newsletters/reel/may97/fail-safe.shtml

This also has Kodak saying how polyester stock with damage the gear in the brain, which might have been what I misunderstood from our engineer. Or he was simplifying for us college students. :)

------------------------
Chad Collier--"Not only does it interrupt the show, but it also can be a substantial hassle to an operator whose nerves are strung tight by long summer hours." Boy howdy, is that ever true...
Digital Bitch
J. Random VFX Company

Okay, this works completely differently from our platters. We use Strong platters which have brains with levers and variable speed payout. The main causes of brain wraps on ours are: film inside brain posts and brain switch stuck on or off. Our projectors are robust enough to mutilate the film under those conditions, rather than the other way around.

Of course now Zenigame is wondering "What's a brain?"

Polychrome

Oh, yeah...that was one of the many and varied ways we could get wraps. Sounds like your system lets the film build up around the brain fast enough to not constrict it into nigh-oblivion. :) Handy that.

>Of course now Zenigame is wondering "What's a brain?"

Hey, I only do one cheap web trick a day, sorry...

------------------------
Chad Collier--looking over his shoulder for the topic cops, cuz we are waaaayyy off in the boonies now...
Digital Bitch
J. Random VFX Company

Guys, not this that isn't interesting or anything, but it has gone WAY off-topic - actually it did that a number of posts ago. Can you move it over to the 2nd of the 'General' forums? Thanks.

Oh, Zenigame: http://www.kodak.com/US/en/motion/newsletters/reel/may97/fail-safe.shtml

-MegaZone, megazone@megazone.org
Personal Homepage http://www.megazone.org/
Eyrie Productions FanFic http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
See what I'm selling on eBay