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Subject: "Clarion Call" Archived thread - Read only
 
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Conferences Symphony of the Sword / The Order of the Rose Topic #223
Reading Topic #223
Matrix Dragon
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Jul-28-08, 04:27 AM (EST)
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"Clarion Call"
 
   ... wow, just... wow. Given how long since the last one, it may seem odd to say, but it was worth the wait. The scenes of preparation, the moments of character, the scenes with Wall-E and Eve, who are perfect every time I see them... I loved the scene with Chad and Tyr/Shivar. It was quite brilliant actually.

And then it was followed by that sudden shift.

"Mimi, we have a problem. Akio Ohtori is here."

At that point, 'Oh Fuck' became one of the most common thoughts in my head as I watched Freyja destroy herself, the people he'd hurt react to that monsters presence... and then it got worse. Right now, I'm actually wondering if the events of Day of Infamy still happen, watching as everything dialed up to a war footing, as it shifted into fast paced, tense reading despite a lack of action scenes.

The moment with Frigg was utterly brilliant, especially her comments of the Monolith, and then the cliffhanger.

Symphony is back. And it is GOOD.

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter


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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  RE: Clarion Call twipper Jul-28-08 1
     RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-28-08 4
         RE: Clarion Call Miri Jul-28-08 6
             RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-28-08 8
                 RE: Clarion Call Miri Jul-28-08 10
         RE: Clarion Call Bad Moon Jul-28-08 14
             RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-28-08 16
  RE: Clarion Call Meagen Jul-28-08 2
     RE: Clarion Call Rickdominated Jul-28-08 3
     RE: Clarion Call BZArchermoderator Jul-28-08 5
  RE: Clarion Call Ardaniel Jul-28-08 7
  RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-28-08 9
  RE: Clarion Call TheOtherSean Jul-28-08 11
  RE: Clarion Call trigger Jul-28-08 12
     RE: Clarion Call Mister Fnord Jul-28-08 13
     RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-28-08 15
         RE: Clarion Call MOGSY Jul-28-08 20
             RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-28-08 21
                 RE: Clarion Call TheOtherSean Jul-28-08 22
                 RE: Clarion Call MOGSY Jul-28-08 24
                     RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-28-08 25
     RE: Clarion Call Ardaniel Jul-28-08 17
         RE: Clarion Call Polychrome Jul-28-08 27
             RE: Clarion Call BobSchroeck Jul-31-08 62
     RE: Clarion Call DocMuiteam Jul-28-08 18
         RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-28-08 26
  RE: Clarion Call zerosumgame Jul-28-08 19
     RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-28-08 23
  RE: Clarion Call clg Jul-29-08 28
     RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-29-08 29
         RE: Clarion Call Ardaniel Jul-29-08 30
             RE: Clarion Call Il Corra Jul-29-08 50
                 RE: Clarion Call FubarObfusco Jul-31-08 65
         RE: Clarion Call Polychrome Jul-29-08 32
         RE: Clarion Call Silent Soul Jul-29-08 35
             RE: Clarion Call Peter Eng Aug-01-08 66
                 RE: Clarion Call Star Ranger4 Aug-01-08 67
                 RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Aug-01-08 68
         RE: Clarion Call clg Jul-29-08 49
         RE: Clarion Call McFortner Jul-29-08 56
         RE: Clarion Call Druid Aug-04-08 69
     RE: Clarion Call Il Corra Jul-29-08 52
         RE: Clarion Call BobSchroeck Jul-31-08 63
             RE: Clarion Call BobSchroeck Aug-07-08 70
  RE: Clarion Call Polychrome Jul-29-08 31
     RE: Clarion Call Eric Heckathorn Jul-29-08 33
         RE: Clarion Call Polychrome Jul-29-08 34
             RE: Clarion Call jadmire Jul-29-08 44
             RE: Clarion Call remandeteam Jul-31-08 61
     RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-29-08 39
         RE: Clarion Call Polychrome Jul-29-08 41
             RE: Clarion Call Matrix Dragon Jul-29-08 42
             RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-29-08 45
  RE: Clarion Call Sofaspud Jul-29-08 36
  RE: Clarion Call O_M Jul-29-08 37
  RE: Clarion Call drakensis Jul-29-08 38
     RE: Clarion Call O_M Jul-29-08 40
         RE: Clarion Call Senji Jul-29-08 48
     RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-29-08 47
         RE: Clarion Call Pasha Jul-29-08 51
             RE: Clarion Call clg Jul-29-08 53
                 RE: Clarion Call Pasha Jul-29-08 54
                     RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-29-08 55
                     RE: Clarion Call clg Jul-29-08 57
                         RE: Clarion Call drakensis Jul-30-08 58
                             RE: Clarion Call trigger Jul-30-08 60
  RE: Clarion Call Kokuten Jul-29-08 43
     RE: Clarion Call Gryphonadmin Jul-29-08 46
  RE: Clarion Call Meagen Jul-30-08 59
  RE: Clarion Call BobSchroeck Jul-31-08 64

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twipper
Member since Jan-8-03
278 posts
Jul-28-08, 11:40 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   Lets be honest. There are few current novelists that I read today that do as well as you all in terms of dialog and imagery. Butcher, paticularly in his last few Dresden books, is about the only one that comes to mind. A hearty well done here as well.

Would that fifth sacked fleet commander be Kimball Kinnison? Not surprised he didn't pass muster, as I never felt he made that good of a commander anyway.

Brian


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Gryphonadmin
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Jul-28-08, 12:50 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #1
 
   >Would that fifth sacked fleet commander be Kimball Kinnison?

No; that was a gentleman by the name of Hiram Kimball. Like his four predecessors in the role, he came highly recommended with excellent credentials and experience from another well-established organization (in his case, Starfleet), but failed utterly to adapt his experience to the unique demands of the International Police CINCSF position. In his case, as we've seen, his chief problem was his inability to grasp, or possibly just to act upon, the Space Force's need for quick command action in an immediate crisis.

(Of the other four, one was determined to impose a stricter chain of command no matter how many toes got stepped on and noses put out of joint, one resigned after reading the brief on the Irregular Projects Division, one turned out to be a closet member of the Church of Man, and one was simply incompetent in all respects. And no, none of them was anyone you know.)

Filling the position with a satisfactory candidate who would actually be happy doing the job has proven much more difficult than the Chief thought it would be when he relinquished his Space Force rank back in the fall of 2409. He's been averaging a replacement about every five weeks. You'd think that wouldn't even be enough time to determine that someone wasn't going to work out, but the Space Force is, as Commodore Tenjou could tell you, a crucible even in peacetime. You either get it immediately or have a psychotic episode.

For the historically curious, Kimball's name is derived from that of Admiral Husband E. Kimmel, commander of the U.S. Navy's Pacific Fleet at the outbreak of World War II. Kimmel had the unenviable distinction of watching the Pearl Harbor attack unfold on his watch, and although the subsequent ruin of his career was probably uncalled-for, given that there were plenty of pooches to go around on Hawaii that day, he (and the Army's General Walter Short) took the administrative fall for the failures that day. In my judgment, he was a competent man in a situation that could only have been salvaged by a brilliant one. The same could be said of Admiral Kimball (who will, I'm sure, get a nice recommendation to a position for which he's better-suited once the dust settles).

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Miri
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Jul-28-08, 03:41 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #4
 
   My big question is.. does the IPO and allies not have any Intelligence Assets (or Spies as you prefer) snooping around? Yeah, it would have ruined the story as we know it to have Bond (James Bond) calling in with the info about a preemptive invasion of Tau Ceti a day or so early but for something as important as this wedding it really sucks to have it overshadowed and interrupted with a freaking war starting up.

And how in the world did they manage to hide the fleet and manpower buildup they would have needed to take the planet?


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Gryphonadmin
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Jul-28-08, 04:30 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #6
 
   >My big question is.. does the IPO and allies not have any Intelligence
>Assets (or Spies as you prefer) snooping around?

Not inside Earthdome, no. Deep cover infiltration of the central government is a very difficult thing to achieve in a telepath police state.

>And how in the world did they manage to hide the fleet and manpower
>buildup they would have needed to take the planet?

Space is very, very large and mostly empty. It's not difficult to hide quite large things in it.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Miri
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Jul-28-08, 04:47 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #8
 
   >>My big question is.. does the IPO and allies not have any Intelligence
>>Assets (or Spies as you prefer) snooping around?
>
>Not inside Earthdome, no. Deep cover infiltration of the central
>government is a very difficult thing to achieve in a telepath police
>state.
>

Oh yeah... forgot about that part. :/


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Bad Moon
Member since Dec-17-02
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Jul-28-08, 06:57 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #4
 
   >Filling the position with a satisfactory candidate who would actually
>be happy doing the job has proven much more difficult than the Chief
>thought it would be when he relinquished his Space Force rank back in
>the fall of 2409. He's been averaging a replacement about every five
>weeks. You'd think that wouldn't even be enough time to determine
>that someone wasn't going to work out, but the Space Force is, as
>Commodore Tenjou could tell you, a crucible even in peacetime. You
>either get it immediately or have a psychotic episode.

It doesn't help that the people who ARE qualified for the job are most likely happily holding positions in allied fleets (except Picard). Also, I'd think it would be somewhat unsporting to headhunt fleet commanders from your buddies navies.

------
Jon Helscher

I'm here to slow you down, cost you money, and generally retard the process.

-Mike Rowe: Dirty Jobs


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Gryphonadmin
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Jul-28-08, 07:11 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #14
 
   >It doesn't help that the people who ARE qualified for the job are most
>likely happily holding positions in allied fleets (except Picard).

Indeed, Jean-Luc is more grimly holding a position in an allied(?) fleet at this point.

>Also, I'd think it would be somewhat unsporting to headhunt fleet
>commanders from your buddies navies.

Oh, certainly. If G were going to do a real full-court press to find someone and pry them out of an existing fleet, he'd have either Picard from Starfleet, Jim Kirk from the WDF, or Kanæ Kirk from the Royal Salusian Navy by now, but he's confined himself to candidates who actually applied for the job. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Meagen
Member since Jul-14-02
551 posts
Jul-28-08, 12:01 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   HOLY SHIT.

(pause for running around, incoherent gibbering, wild gesticulation, and attempts to breathe normally)

...okay. Okay. Calm now. I can formulate a well-thought-out, rational response to what I have just read.

*ahem*

HOLY SHIT.

--
With great power come great perks.


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Rickdominated
Member since Jul-29-15
8 posts
Jul-28-08, 12:35 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #2
 
   Id agree with these sentiments, and I'm not even halfway through yet

I swear, EPU in general is going to get me fired yet


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BZArchermoderator
Member since Nov-9-05
1668 posts
Jul-28-08, 01:05 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #2
 
   Ayep.

---------------------------
Matt "BZArcher" Wagner
@BZArcher / bzarcher at gmail
"Here's an itemized list of 30
years of disagreements!"


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Ardaniel
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Jul-28-08, 04:21 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jul-28-08 AT 04:21 PM (EDT)
 
> I loved the scene with Chad and Tyr/Shivar. It was quite brilliant actually.

Heh, I told you this story so I could tell you that one... which means there are a few other stories we haven't told you yet, yes?

Ard Collier
that Janice chick
Usual Suspect and general menace


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Gryphonadmin
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Jul-28-08, 04:32 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   (from the locked parallel thread started by Silent Soul)

>fanfiction the last refuge of the horny, lonely, and socially backward

Actually, in my experience fanfiction is among the first refuges of the horny, lonely, and socially backward.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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TheOtherSean
Member since Jul-7-08
232 posts
Jul-28-08, 05:24 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   >Symphony is back. And it is GOOD.
>
>Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter


I'll second that. I think I actually enjoyed reading the latest installment of Symphony more than reading David Weber's "By Schism Rent Asunder." That may just be because I was getting a snippet of BSRA every Mon, Wed, Fri and was thus feeling more deprived of Symphony.

In any event, it was a good read, and I look forward to more tales of Utena and Corwin and Kaitlyn and company. Nice work!

--
The Other Sean - Don't accept substitutes!
Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes?


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trigger
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Jul-28-08, 06:10 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   I liked it. Not the greatest SOS story (for awesome goodness, I still have a special place in my heart for S1M6: Hunted Rose), but like most of S5, quick, and just a lead-up to something that is likely to be wicked good.

My critical comments,

(1) Damn, that was a quick read. I'm not sure why it was; I knocked it out in about, um, 15 minutes, but upon trying to print it found it about 97 pages long. So whoa. I can't tell if it was a quick read because (a) it was fairly linear, (b) the number of new mysteries/characters/plot arcs were relatively low, or (c) it felt like a big lead up to something else, and I hurried on hoping to get to that something.

(2) Writing was fabulous. Great job of working us through the mechanisms of the wedding, making the fiddly details interesting, and also making the romance between Utena and Corwin so _them_. (as a side note, Chiho Saito owes you guys; you so saved his characters from the depths of amine hell) Some of dialogue seemed a little clunky, but some of the exchanges were perfect. Utena as dead on, as was the brief cameo of Kozue(!!). The droid/Luke Skywalker..sorry, robot/Corwin Ravenhair scenes were precious. I liked how you subtly reminded us of how _different_ these heroes are, esp. through the use of character behavior. I love how Corwin shrugs off his use of coding language without even mentioning his God of Mecha status; and how Utena takes control to the space force without hesitation. Having read too many stories were we are introduced again, and again to the characters, its nice to read someones who are confident in their writing and trust in the story to carry itself.

(3) That said, I wasn't as thrilled with the supporting cast. Sure Cage continues to be the id of the writers (and the readers - confusion to the enemy!), so he was fun. Janice has her mayhem on but I couldn't tell - was she saying that her relationship with whats-his-name is over? The duelists' reactions were nice, but, well, very predictable. Susan Ivanova was underused. Freja's beef with Corwin was interesting, and sure, it forwarded the plot, but um, damn did it come out of no where. Wasn't it Frey who used to get all medieval on Corwin's ass? And why in the names of the gods would she risk the wrath of the Norns? She's had a good working relationship with them (at least it seemed that way during Twilight), but now its gone down hill because of Corwin? As well, Akio was strangely out of character. Since when does he show his emotions on his face? He was clearly irritated the wedding wasn't taking place (or rather, occurring as he planned) and sent Nanami to do something (perhaps to intercept Corwin, perhaps not). He's not the type to make slips, and so something about his characterization seemed off. Thoughts on this?

(4) and no offense, Matrix Dragon, but the whole Sivar god-of-war thing didn't seem very, um, useful. Or topical. I'm all for advancing Chad's character and giving us his back story (you've got to add the Sheep Incident to the UF homepage), but I really, really didn't get why Tyr had to step in to get him to not do something. Chad buying it so easily didn't make sense to me either - so I will hold the faith and wait on events (or more backstory - please!).

(5) That said, cliffhanger - argh! So frustrating and now I'm grumpy (yeah, I know you can't please everyone all the time). Which, I grant you, is odd, since we know from Infamy what the ultimate ending is to the Tau Ceti situation. I guess, its just that most Movements have been self-contained, and here is the second Movement in S5 that isn't. My expectations were slightly off, and so I am a bit disappointed that it ended where it did. Ah, well, good writing is like that - leaves you panting for more.

OK, that said, let me respond to a couple points:

> Right now, I'm
>actually wondering if the events of Day of Infamy still happen,
>watching as everything dialed up to a war footing, as it shifted into
>fast paced, tense reading despite a lack of action scenes.

Actually, I think this was a perfect lead up to Infamy. We still haven't had the big Federation disaster, right? So the "distraction" at Tau Ceti works well, with the 2 year time line. I think.

>The moment with Frigg was utterly brilliant, especially her comments
>of the Monolith, and then the cliffhanger.

Um, she was nice, but such a deus ex machina <grin>. Nice quest item btw. Doesn't the girl have enough toys?

>Symphony is back. And it is GOOD.

amen, brother.
t.

Trigger Argee
trigger_argee@hotmail.com
Manon, Maccadon, Orado, etc.
Denton, never leave home without it.

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - HST


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Mister Fnord
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Jul-28-08, 06:24 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #12
 
   The Freyja thing didn't come completely out of nowhere. IIRC it was a good chunk of the B-plot of Ash Knight, but that was a while ago & it hasn't been referenced directly by any of the more recent stuff.

--
Mr. Fnord, who has way too good a memory for trivia. :P


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Gryphonadmin
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19265 posts
Jul-28-08, 07:09 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #12
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jul-28-08 AT 07:18 PM (EDT)
 
>Freja's beef with
>Corwin was interesting, and sure, it forwarded the plot, but um, damn
>did it come out of no where. Wasn't it Frey who used to get all
>medieval on Corwin's ass?

Frey and Corwin came to something of an understanding in an incident that was shown in flashback back in S5M1 (an incident which also leaves me faintly puzzled at your assertion that Freyja's problem came out of nowhere).

>And why in the names of the gods would she
>risk the wrath of the Norns?

Well... why would a group of smart, capable teenagers spend a school year diligently trying to kill each other for the sake of a reward that no one ever specified to them? Why would an intelligent woman like Kanae Ohtori sit passively by and watch some guy screw around on her with cheerful abandon and destroy a legacy her forebears spent centuries building? Why would Touga Kiryuu be willing to die - repeatedly - for the sake of a man he loathes with his entire being?

Akio's rowing against a very strong current these days, and it may be having a deleterious effect on even his phenomenal patience (see below), but he still has a talent for identifying and exploiting psychological vulnerabilities, especially in women. Freyja has some ugly history with svartelves (covered in S5M1) and a track record of, shall we say, emotional brittleness. Compared to someone like Utena, or Corwin, or even Raven, she was an easy mark.

>Akio was strangely
>out of character. Since when does he show his emotions on his face?

An Æsir curse isn't an easy thing to live with. Perhaps he's simply indulging in a fit of childishness over this latest frustration. In a way, he can afford to do that, because this particular confrontation isn't actually important. This trip was primarily recreational. He saw an opportunity to put the cat among the pigeons with impunity - a way to exploit certain diplomatic niceties and a goddess's psychological flaws in order to remind his archest enemies as baldly as possible that, despite their best efforts, they still aren't rid of him. In that sense, his mission was still accomplished. Raven's reaction alone was worth the trip.

Besides, in all his many years, he'd never been coolly dismissed by Susan Ivanova before. That parting remark stung. :)

>Um, she was nice, but such a deus ex machina <grin>. Nice quest item
>btw. Doesn't the girl have enough toys?

The exchange of swords - a new-made one from bride to groom, a family heirloom from groom to bride - is a tradition that goes back a long, long time among the Æsir, and their mortal worshippers who came closest to being right, the Vikings, practiced it as well. Technically, the heirloom one is supposed to be held in trust by the wife for the couple's firstborn son, but in the modern day that's a bit like those laws that say horseless carriages have to be preceded up the street by a man with a red flag. :)

Anyway, Utena has a number of swords, and they're all very good ones, but - and I take nothing away from the care Corwin put into constructing the Thorn of the Rose, nor the fine qualities of Utena's own Heart - she's never had one like that. Ivaldi the Ancient was the greatest smith in the history of the Heavens, and we've seen one of the three swords he made for the sons of Borr before. The one he made for Odin was eventually used as the Master Key of the World-Engine, and appeared as such in Twilight.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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MOGSY
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Jul-28-08, 10:34 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #15
 
   Man these guys can't catch a break.

First, the jerk cousin no one likes shows up, invited no less, thanks to the crazy aunt with a grudge, intergalactic war breaks out (all things considered, probably the least dangerous of the possible outcomes that day), and it doesn't even seem like Corwin got a decent bachelor party out of the whole thing! Not one lap dance! ;)

Ah, we've all been there. Except you know, for the whole...intergalatic war-thing....and stuff...

And because of all the Norse-ness, I had "What's Opera, Doc?" stuck in my head the entire time :)

But, in all seriousness for a minute, very, very good show all the way around, and truth be told I actually couldn't help but (mentally) hear the Tannhauser Overture (minus Elmer Fudd) as background music at various points, especially the bit with Frigg....

"Well whaddaya expect from an opera? A happy ending?" - Bugs Bunny

....

Actually...knowing what little I do know of the Eddas, the Volsunga and other bits and pieces of Norse myth does make me a bit worried for our cast of players, and their descendants in the long run, though UF is about nothing if it's not about beating long odds :)


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Gryphonadmin
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19265 posts
Jul-28-08, 10:37 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #20
 
   >it doesn't even seem like Corwin got a decent
>bachelor party out of the whole thing!

He didn't want one, but it's funny you should mention that...

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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TheOtherSean
Member since Jul-7-08
232 posts
Jul-28-08, 10:45 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #21
 
   >>it doesn't even seem like Corwin got a decent
>>bachelor party out of the whole thing!
>
>He didn't want one, but it's funny you should mention that...
>
>--G.

Uh-oh, sounds like there's a story there.

--
The Other Sean - Don't accept substitutes!
Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes?


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MOGSY
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Jul-28-08, 11:07 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #21
 
   This will teach me to flip through the channels randomly and nod off while reading school books...

Scene: Akio Ohtori and his his henches standing with their backs to one of those giant Death Star reactor shaft-things that go down a ridiculous ways and have zero safety accommodations, they have swords pointed at them, and they are being slowly backed towards the edge...

Akio: "This is blasphemy! This is madness!

Utena: This....is....ASGARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you know how this turns out...


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Gryphonadmin
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Jul-28-08, 11:14 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #24
 
   >And you know how this turns out...

Only in vague terms, and then by way of Robot Chicken. I escaped direct exposure to Frank Miller's Don't Know Much About® the Greco-Persian Wars.

--G.
(seriously, Don't Know Much About® is a registered trademark. Held by Kenneth C. Davis, who originated the series with Don't Know Much About History.)
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
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Ardaniel
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Jul-28-08, 07:16 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #12
 
   > I really, really didn't get why Tyr had to step in to get him to not do something.

That's because we really, really haven't shown you what Sivar's doing. Patience! ;)

Ard


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Polychrome
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Jul-28-08, 11:27 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #17
 
   I'll bet it's something of Biblical proportions.
Real Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff.

Polychrome

Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!


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BobSchroeck
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Jul-31-08, 09:06 PM (EST)
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62. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #27
 
   >Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas
>boiling!

Mass panic! Cats and dogs living together!

-- Bob
(I had to. Sorry.)
-------------------
I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from Now We Are Six through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So theeeeeere...


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DocMuiteam
Member since Dec-13-05
81 posts
Jul-28-08, 08:51 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #12
 
   >Um, she was nice, but such a deus ex machina <grin>. Nice quest item
>btw. Doesn't the girl have enough toys?

Well, if you wanted a deus ex machina, all you have to do is look at Corwin piloting Big O.

What? It had to be said.

Well done, Ben, Janice, et al. I like the "rug pulled out from under you" feeling near the end. As long as Akio doesn't become the Villain Who Would Not Get Out of the Limelight (e.g., many BGC fanfics simply do not leave Largo alone), I foresee a very bright future for the next few stories.

You know, somewhere out there, there had to be more than a few people sighing in resignation over the postponement of the ceremony.

--DocMui


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Gryphonadmin
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Jul-28-08, 11:22 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #18
 
   >As long as Akio doesn't become the Villain
>Who Would Not Get Out of the Limelight (e.g., many BGC fanfics simply
>do not leave Largo alone)

Well, be fair: Akio is of significantly greater importance to the protagonists' story than Largo ever was. Largo was just some dude the Knight Sabers made an enemy of in the course of doing their thing. Akio is... rather more.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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zerosumgame
Member since Jul-31-06
45 posts
Jul-28-08, 09:25 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   An enjoyable read, as always. Having now seen the sheer number of people involved, I can dimly comprehend the logistical difficulties you were having.

That said, it feels like part 1.

You've connected a few dots, and we've seen some references to chunks of backstory (significant and minor-but-interesting), but for all the flash, and all the buildup...

...we don't get much.

We were expecting a wedding (like Corwin and Utena's guests), and we didn't get one (also like said guests).

We also don't get the major action sequence.

I -liked- this one, don't get me wrong, but I sincerely hope the next installment comes out soon. I think it will lose a lot of impact otherwise.

Regards,
Jason


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Gryphonadmin
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Jul-28-08, 11:02 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #19
 
   >That said, it feels like part 1.

Two, actually. Of seven.

>We were expecting a wedding (like Corwin and Utena's guests), and we
>didn't get one (also like said guests).

Well, to be fair, you got more of one than the guests did. :)

>We also don't get the major action sequence.

True. The original plan for this movement involved both the call to action and the action, but I realized partway into the process that if I did that, it'd probably end up being about 300K. I made the "two sequential events that should've been two sequential movements" mistake with The Revolution Will Be Televised and didn't want to repeat it. Besides, I suspect what comes next will be different enough in tone that it'd be a bit jarring to have it all as one movement.

>I -liked- this one, don't get me wrong, but I sincerely hope the next
>installment comes out soon. I think it will lose a lot of impact
>otherwise.

Welp, guess I better get to work, then.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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clg
Member since Sep-20-05
108 posts
Jul-29-08, 00:18 AM (EST)
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28. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   Let's try one of the old-fashioned, point-by-point dissections. I'll try to skip what's already been addressed.

Finding a venue for the occasion hadn't been easy.

Wild guess: this was the out-of-story sticking point that Gryphon mentioned.

Yeah. It looked like this was going to go according to plan after all.

You'd think Skuld would know better by know, really.

As he stepped off the lift into the corridor segment set aside as the VOQ, he paused for a moment to return the salute of the uniformed Tac Div officer on duty (must be a new guy, he thought)

That last little phrase threw me off for a bit; I was thinking Cassidy was some sort of covert threat at first. But no, he's actually just the FNG. (I hope.)

the little tracked robot managed, despite his awkward construction and the fact that his dance partner had no legs at all, to pull off a nice approximation of a spin-and-dip...

Hee! I wish I could draw, if only for moments like this. (And, well, a bunch of other moments in the story.)

Then, switching to a weird, high-pitched trilling language, he added, <Go ahead and code-stream it if you want.>

Corwin speaks Artoo-language. Why am I not surprised?

Almost all of those whose lives they had touched were invited, from the core diplomatic and operational staff of Babylon 6 to members of no fewer than four space navies, independent operators, private citizens, university professors, Duelists and Jedi Knights, divinities and demons.

Beg pardon? Demons? Anyone we know, besides Svanhvit Icebinder and Hellboy?

Aeryn Stonefist, the Valkyrie close-combat specialist, was hardly a four-year-old. She was a native of Vanaheim's northern Shire...

About time we got to meet Aeryn. I'd always thought she was a dwarf.

Far from being tense and impatient, as Nall had expected, Corwin seemed completely happy: down on one knee, wrench in hand, bolting down the front panel of a small, cube-shaped robot...

Same old Corwin.

Pointing across the meadow, she added, Look! Even Svartalfheim has sent an ambassador.

Tsuwabuki blinked. What? No, the svartelven government specifically -declined- their invi - ...

Oh, here we go.

This didn't surprise me the way it seemed to shock some of the other commenters. We knew Akio was up to something, and given the timing it probably involved the wedding. If anything, I was surprised at how little overt hostility there was. (Also I wondered where Nanami was.)

It looks like he was invited by Lady Freyja of Vanaheim, he said...

This bugs me a bit. I mean, I can see Freyja wanting to disrupt the wedding of someone who shoved her aside for a svartelf. But using a svartelven demon to do so? Even in the context of her madness, that doesn't make much sense. Either personal affront >> racial prejudice, or Akio has pulled a major mind-whammy on her. All I know is, I do not want to be this woman's shrink.

Freyja, darling, why don't you go ahead and mingle with the others from Asgard, he said calmly to his date. I'm going to stay here for a little while and just... take it all in.

This would seem to support the Akio's messing with her head theory.

X and the beagles staring Akio down? Very cool.

Utena's tone as she spoke the last sentence was light, wry, even a little self-deprecating; but the look in her azure eyes as she sought out and made fleeting eye contact with a particular member of the silently watching throng made it clear that she'd taken note, and would not forget.

Love this too. Yeah, we'll cancel the ceremony. For something important.

She explained that part better than I could, Ivanova told him. She's an International Police officer and a starship captain. It's a matter of honor. With perfect cordiality, she added, In your position, you probably wouldn't understand. Excuse me, Ambassador.

You know, I'm starting to think the sole reason for Akio Ohtori's existence is to give the heroes Crowning Moments of Awesome.

Damn, I feel bad for these Earthforce pukes.

Ever since the teaser came out, I've been thinking, Why would Earthforce attack the wedding? Now I feel silly.

Out of curiosity, how does Ragnhildr translate? And does the ancient sword have any particular name?

...And that's where Nanami is. Fantastic cliffhanger -- I actually don't know what she's up to.

Very good stuff; eagerly awaiting Movement 3 (and 4, and 5, ...)

- Chad

- Chad


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Gryphonadmin
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19265 posts
Jul-29-08, 00:51 AM (EST)
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29. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #28
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jul-29-08 AT 00:52 AM (EDT)
 
>Let's try one of the old-fashioned, point-by-point dissections.

Oh good. I always enjoy those. We used to get them a lot more.

(And no, I'm not being sarcastic. I always like knowing what particular bits worked for people - and didn't, come to that. A lot of the work I do is done scenelet by scenelet, and so I often find myself wondering about people's reactions to particular ones.)

>That last little phrase threw me off for a bit; I was thinking Cassidy
>was some sort of covert threat at first. But no, he's actually just
>the FNG. (I hope.)

Heh, it's not so much that G doesn't recognize him as that only a new guy would salute like that. More experienced TD officers (like, say, Ayla Ranzz) would just go, "Hey, Chief. 'Sup." :)

>Corwin speaks Artoo-language. Why am I not surprised?

Kinda, yeah. What Corwin's doing there is kind of a more sophisticated version of whistling at a fax machine. :)

>Beg pardon? Demons? Anyone we know, besides Svanhvit Icebinder and
>Hellboy?

There are a few present, but no one besides those two of any particular significance. Nobody else from Muspelheim showed up, but the Niflings (not to be confused with "nithlings" - they hate that) sent an ambassador.

>About time we got to meet Aeryn. I'd always thought she was a dwarf.

Nope, that's Herlod Thunderfall, the Valkyrie demolitionist.

>If anything, I was surprised at how
>little overt hostility there was.

That's the kind of thing you get when Cold War-style diplomatic niceties (which is more or less what exists between Asgard and Muspelheim at this point) are involved. The menace has to be subtle and cordial.

>This would seem to support the Akio's messing with her head
>theory.

Well, he is an incubus...

>X and the beagles staring Akio down? Very cool.

I'm a little surprised that nobody's mentioned Kosh at all. This is, I think the first time we've ever seen Kosh being properly Koshy in UF, and in what I thought was a thought-provoking context, and nothin'.

>Out of curiosity, how does Ragnhildr translate?

Ragnhildr is an Old Norse name combining the words for "advice" (or "decision") and "battle". It doesn't translate exactly, but in this context the basic implication is that the sword represents wisdom (rather than blind aggression) in war.

>And does the ancient sword have any particular name?

She does, and we'll be finding out what it is next time.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Ardaniel
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Jul-29-08, 01:38 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #29
 
   >Ragnhildr is an Old Norse name combining the words for "advice"
>(or "decision") and "battle". It doesn't translate exactly, but in
>this context the basic implication is that the sword represents wisdom
>(rather than blind aggression) in war.

Think of it as "battle-counsel;" tactical advisorship.

(The Old English version of the Old Norse "ragn-" is "-raed," leading to names like "Alfred," or "elf counsel," which may or may not play into amusing parallels for those of us who are both Batman geeks and British mythology nerds.)

Ard Collier
that Janice chick
Usual Suspect and general menace


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Il Corra
Member since Feb-17-04
51 posts
Jul-29-08, 04:11 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #30
 
   ...or "Conrad". Excuse me as I find yet another reason to grin happily at this piece. =)

--
Il Corra


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FubarObfusco
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Jul-31-08, 11:17 PM (EST)
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65. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #50
 
   ... but not, one hopes, Conrad of Conrad.


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Polychrome
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476 posts
Jul-29-08, 02:07 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #29
 
   >>And does the ancient sword have any particular name?
>
>She does, and we'll be finding out what it is next time.

A sword like that has been called a hundred names, and will be called a thousand more before the world goes dim and cold.

Polychrome


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Silent Soul
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Jul-29-08, 03:45 AM (EST)
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35. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #29
 
   >I'm a little surprised that nobody's mentioned Kosh at all. This is,
>I think the first time we've ever seen Kosh being properly
>Koshy in UF, and in what I thought was a thought-provoking context,
>and nothin'.

Heh. "Koshy" may be my new favorite adjective.

Just for the record, I came this close to mentioning this in my comment earlier, but thought I'd already been long-winded enough. I found it interesting (and amusing), especially since we haven't really been told what role the Vorlons play in the UF setting. I mean, in B5 they were among the major clandestine movers and shakers of galactic politics. Demon or no, I wouldn't go out of my way to piss them off.

(By the way, I'm sorry about generating that extra thread. Didn't think before posting.)

>Welp, guess I better get to work, then.

Please? I'll be good. (Relatively good, anyway.)


To hear, one must be silent.


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Peter Eng
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1455 posts
Aug-01-08, 00:36 AM (EST)
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66. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #35
 
   >
> ...we haven't really
>been told what role the Vorlons play in the UF setting.
>

That makes me wonder if anybody in the UF-universe knows what role the Vorlons really play.

Peter Eng
--
I'm only a Charter Member because of the DCForum upgrade, and because there's no rank below "Clueless F!wit."


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Star Ranger4
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Aug-01-08, 01:08 AM (EST)
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67. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #66
 
   >> ...we haven't really
>>been told what role the Vorlons play in the UF setting.
>>
>
>That makes me wonder if anybody in the UF-universe knows what role the
>Vorlons really play.
>

I'd bet not even the VORLONS know what role they really play... you see, maybe they knew once upon a time, but they didnt tell their kids, cause... well, its a SECRET!!!


Of COURSE you wernt expecting it!
No One expects the FANNISH INQUISITION!
RCW# 86


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Gryphonadmin
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Aug-01-08, 01:13 AM (EST)
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68. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #66
 
   >That makes me wonder if anybody in the UF-universe knows what role the
>Vorlons really play.

Gryphon does, or at least thinks he does. He's been to their homeworld.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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clg
Member since Sep-20-05
108 posts
Jul-29-08, 12:41 PM (EST)
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49. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #29
 
   >I'm a little surprised that nobody's mentioned Kosh at all. This is,
>I think the first time we've ever seen Kosh being properly
>Koshy in UF, and in what I thought was a thought-provoking context,
>and nothin'.

Fair enough, it was cool, but it's also more or less expected, from what I understand of Kosh. I never watched B5, so I didn't get that thrill of recognition a lot of others here got. I was more impressed by the Badass Normals telling off a Duke of Hell, whether they knew it or not.

- Chad

- Chad


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McFortner
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Jul-29-08, 10:26 PM (EST)
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56. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #29
 
   >I'm a little surprised that nobody's mentioned Kosh at all. This is, I think
>the first time we've ever seen Kosh being properly Koshy in UF, and in what I
>thought was a thought-provoking context, and nothin'.

That was so Kosh I could hear the "voice" of the character out loud. I found myself wondering if there was a Vorlon Fleet just outside the station, just in case you know.....

Makes me wonder what the Shadows have been up to. A Shadown/Demon alliance is just too damn scary to think about right now.

Michael




Michael C. Fortner
RCW #2n+1

"I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time."
-- Mark Twain



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Druid
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Aug-04-08, 04:45 AM (EST)
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69. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #29
 
   >>X and the beagles staring Akio down? Very cool.
>
>I'm a little surprised that nobody's mentioned Kosh at all. This is,
>I think the first time we've ever seen Kosh being properly
>Koshy in UF, and in what I thought was a thought-provoking context,
>and nothin'.

I certainly noted it, and found it quite cool. Kosh's perception was quite surprising. Shows that they're more than just super advanced in scientifically.


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Il Corra
Member since Feb-17-04
51 posts
Jul-29-08, 04:22 PM (EST)
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52. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #28
 
  
>You know, I'm starting to think the sole reason for Akio Ohtori's
>existence is to give the heroes >href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMomentOfAwesome";]Crowning
>Moments of Awesome.

Let's be honest, everyone here has already mentally added a bullet point in that page that reads, "Eyrie Productions. Just.. Eyrie Productions." ;)

--
Il Corra


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BobSchroeck
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2192 posts
Jul-31-08, 09:14 PM (EST)
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63. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #52
 
   >Let's be honest, everyone here has already mentally added a bullet
>point in that page that reads, "Eyrie Productions. Just.. Eyrie
>Productions." ;)

Why settle for merely mental?

-- Bob
-------------------
I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from Now We Are Six through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So theeeeeere...


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BobSchroeck
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2192 posts
Aug-07-08, 08:27 PM (EST)
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70. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #63
 
   LAST EDITED ON Aug-07-08 AT 08:28 PM (EDT)
 
>Why settle for merely mental?

Grrrr. Of course as soon as I post that someone reorganizes and renames all the Crowning Moment of Awesome subpages.

Try here instead.

-- Bob
-------------------
I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from Now We Are Six through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So theeeeeere...


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Polychrome
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476 posts
Jul-29-08, 02:05 AM (EST)
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31. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   One thing that bothered me was the response to Akio's arrival, where the characters rushed to immediately inform Corwin and Utena. I can see this from the younger members of the party, but Belldandy at the very least would know that you don't bring problems with the wedding to the bride and groom unless absolutely necessary. I realize this isn't really a story problem, but it just made me go "No! You Do Not Do That." which is pretty uncommon with your stories.

Polychrome


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Eric Heckathorn
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Jul-29-08, 02:16 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #31
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jul-29-08 AT 02:17 AM (EDT)
 
>you don't bring problems with the wedding
>to the bride and groom unless absolutely necessary.


I would think having someone like Ohtori show up would most definately qualify.

Besides, would _you_ want to be the one who didn't tell them... especially if something happened?


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Polychrome
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Jul-29-08, 02:41 AM (EST)
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34. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #33
 
   Not if the situation can be dealt with without them. Given the quantity and quality of personages available they shouldn't be needed. Stuff Akio in a closet for a few hours and the couple does find out about it until years later.

Polychrome


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jadmire
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Jul-29-08, 05:21 AM (EST)
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44. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #34
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jul-29-08 AT 05:21 AM (EDT)
 
>Not if the situation can be dealt with without them. Given the
>quantity and quality of personages available they shouldn't be needed.
>Stuff Akio in a closet for a few hours and the couple does find out
>about it until years later.
>
Uh...I don't believe you've thought this all the way through. (Which is OK; I'm still digesting this big chunk of UF-ness myself.) But there are two problems with your line of thought:

1) Akio Ohtori is pretty much _the_ arch-enemy of Corwin, Utena and Anthy. Given that, it _is_ urgently necessary to warn them whenever he appears on the scene, wedding or no.

2) Can't shove him into the closet; it Simply Isn't Done with a person bearing diplomatic immunity. Can't ask him to leave, either, I don't think, not when he's carrying an official invitation. Cutting him, in the old sense, would have been the best solution, had Earthforce not intervened with their little snatch-and-grab on Tau Ceti; it would have been fun to see Akio fume as he were politely but definitively shunned by the wedding guests.

-Joe-


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remandeteam
Member since Jul-31-07
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Jul-31-08, 06:24 PM (EST)
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61. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #34
 
   Ya know, when reading this I realized the obvious way to handle errant guests--or even errant felons. Call it the transporter tracer. A slap-patch which, when activated, orders an automatic transporter to bring the subject to the nearest detention center. For added flavor, apply via modified slugthrower.

*bang* *bang* "You'll never take me alive, coppers!"
*shoot* *bamf*
"Fuck, Sergeant, that was anticlimactic. Now there's nothing left but collecting evidence and doing the paperwork."

--rR


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Gryphonadmin
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39. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #31
 
   >One thing that bothered me was the response to Akio's arrival, where
>the characters rushed to immediately inform Corwin and Utena. I can
>see this from the younger members of the party, but Belldandy at the
>very least would know that you don't bring problems with the wedding
>to the bride and groom unless absolutely necessary. I realize this
>isn't really a story problem, but it just made me go "No! You Do Not
>Do That." which is pretty uncommon with your stories.

... Yes, clearly it would've been much better to let them come out, all buoyant and chipper, and just see him without any advance warning at all.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
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Polychrome
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41. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #39
 
   Obviously I am being unclear.

Akio shows up.
Grab him, stuff him in a closet/airlock/get rid of him somehow.
Don't tell Corwin and Utena until five years later.

Polychrome


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Matrix Dragon
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42. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #41
 
   >Obviously I am being unclear.
>
>Akio shows up.
>Grab him, stuff him in a closet/airlock/get rid of him somehow.
>Don't tell Corwin and Utena until five years later.
>

Welcome to politics.

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter


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Gryphonadmin
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45. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #41
 
   >Obviously I am being unclear.
>
>Akio shows up.
>Grab him, stuff him in a closet/airlock/get rid of him somehow.
>Don't tell Corwin and Utena until five years later.

You don't think they might have noticed the war of the gods that would've sparked? Or are you taking the line that Freyja would've just stood for that?

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Sofaspud
Member since Apr-7-06
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Jul-29-08, 03:59 AM (EST)
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36. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
  
I, um.

Wow?

I'd attempt a scene dissection, but not tonight. I'm still whirling.

I wish I had artistic talent. Because one scene conjured an image in my mind that -will not leave-. It is going to be with me until the day I die. Like the first duel between Gryphon and Utena in the dojo, which also burned itself into my mind, this one is there and I'll no doubt be dreaming about it for -weeks-.

It is the point where all of the gathered heroes are responding to the call, marching down the corridor. I can -see- it in my mind, and it is -amazing-. The bit with Anthy adjusting Utena's rank pin on the fly, the sheer purposefulness (is that a word?) that is displayed... I can't summarize what it does any better than is already shown. But GOD I wish I could draw, because it begs to be shown that way.

Amazing work.

And as so often happens with Symphony works, I hit the end and it was like physically hitting a wall. I simply couldn't believe it was done. I yelled at my computer, in fact.

Y'all are like -pushers-, man. And just when I was getting over Symphony withdrawal again. *grin*

--sofaspud
--


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O_M
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37. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   Geeze, I'm awake for when this goes live, decline to post then when NOBODY's around, and I get back a day later and there's all this.

Well, if I cover treaded ground, at least it'll be smooth. :) Also likely to be tangenital as I wonder from point to point as they occur to me.

* EVE and WALL-E's situation was frustrating from an in-story point of view, but I really liked it for the odd reason that...well, sometimes things just don't go your way. Not in catastrophic torrents of hellfire, ships burning, wars breaking out, and other assorted nastiness and psychological trauma sort of ways, but just because someone Doesn't Get It.

* The descriptions of the wedding garments are incredibly detailed, and while my mental image is....elaborate....do tell, are you looking to get those particular bits illustrated? Imaginative minds want to see. :)

* Nall's continual sputtering with Corwin, who's probably more cognizant of this moment than the dragon, was charming. He came across as the backup teacher that was certain that he'd finally gotten his protoge' raised all good and proper....and then found out that, no, Corwin's still Corwin. You can buff out the rough edges, but grease stains are forever.

* On the subject of Akio, there are several subpoints. His arrival here was such a big part and really made me enjoy it for that.

"... Shit."
Boba Fett, who had missed the byplay with Anaximandra, turned
and arched an eyebrow at Tsuwabuki. "What?"
"Over there," said Tsuwabuki, gesturing with his chin.
Fett looked, blinked, and said in a disbelieving tone, "-No.-"
Tsuwabuki nodded glumly. "Yup."
"-Shit,-" Boba growled

This part was priceless. The lack of dialogue, the perfect setup by Anaximandra...all to reveal that the crowning villain of Symphony(and a case might be made, behind only Surtur and the Mysterons in UF proper)has made his play.

- Akio's arrival with Freyja is unsurprising. Akio's a master manipulator bar none, and Freyja must look like a "HEY! PLEASE SOMEONE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY GLARING PERSONALITY WEAKNESSES!" sign to him. Even a Duke of Hell would presumably be on his toes around Freyja, but Akio not only gets his invite, but clearly has her strung around his finger. While this emphasizes how far Freyja's fallen, it also, to me, pointed out how fucking dangerous Akio still is. He has a powerbase. He's not desperate. And the skills that REALLY made his plan at Ohtori Academy are still with him. And he just suckered a big fish as his latest pawn.

- Akio's internal dialogue. As much as I'm on Corwin and Utena's side....Akio's evaluation of the situation, and cognizance of the huge disturbance his very presence makes in the entire wedding really elevates him to the level of Magnificent Bastardy. You hate him, but it's just so FUN to watch him earn that hate, because he's so smooth at it. Interestingly, having watched through his eps in the series proper, canon Akio doesn't have that level of magnificent bastardy. He's not quite as SMUG about it as he could be, and UF Akio really is. It's a certain sense of oozing charisma...or just oozing...that comes across whenever he's around in Symphony.

- The cantina scene. So...perfect. The fact it was the beagles just made it better.

- The fact that he got away with it. Sure, Ivanova's parting shot stung his ego, but from a framework of Objective A: make wedding distinctly more unpleasant than it should be, he got the job done. He's not disappointed that he failed, but rather that he merely succeeded instead of hitting a home run.

Frey shook his head. "Not this time. What she's done today,
it's... it's -obscene.-" He clenched his fists and hung his head,
clearly filled with shame. "Corwin, I've... It's true I've abetted
Freyja's wrongs against you before. I'll confess these things even
before the All-Father, right here and now. But this is too much." His
formal facade cracking under the weight of his frustration, he looked
up, met Corwin's eyes, and blurted, "I've had my -fill- of Freyja's
crazy shit. This madness must end... " He looked down at the floor
again. "... for now I truly fear that's what it is."

* When the local god is actually reduced to the phrase of "Freyja's crazy shit", you know she's gone over the coocoo's nest.

* Kosh being....well, Kosh. Certain lines from his previous scenes have required needing to imagine Kosh's voice saying those things, which made them funny. His confrontation with Akio had Kosh's voice coming to mind without any effort. It's something he'd say, something he'd do, and it had a little Kosh the 2nd flavor to it too that really worked for the scene.

Once, Anthy might have felt fear at the knowledge that her
tormentor of so many years, the revenant thing that wore her beloved
dead brother's face, had come to this place.
That was a long time ago.
Today, she felt only...
... what was this feeling called?
Oh, yes. -Rage.-

* This is another of those scenes that the wording just works. She's not boiling. It's the fact that it's so...Anthy-like to say it that way. "What's the word I'm looking for? Oh. Right. Rage."

* The Roman legion was a surprise. I'm not sure exactly where they came from, meta-textually, though my suspicions would be a little village off Cimerora. :)

* WALL-E and EVE's interaction throughout this story was spot-on, now that I've seen the movie, especially EVE's attempts to get WALL-E to recognize certain more...subtle concepts. The "I get it now" voice from him was priceless.

* The cliffhanger with Nanami. We've seen in Sympathy For The Devil that Corwin's relationship with her is....complex. Where this goes isn't quite as obvious as it'd be with, say, Touga.

* Oh, and Sivar was perfectly classy, by the way. Wonderful subversion of the Kilrathi's view of him.

All in all, a great installment. Lots of momentum and great character moments.

It was written, and it was Good.


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drakensis
Member since Dec-20-06
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Jul-29-08, 04:51 AM (EST)
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38. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   The temptation for someone like, say, MegaZone to just discreetly hit Akio on the back of the head and sling him out of an airlock must have been well-nigh overpowering.

Wouldn't have been a very smart thing to do in the long run, but I sort of like the idea of Freyja looking cluelessly around for her date while Akio is hammering impotently on the outside of Babylon 6's hull and cursing when every impact does nothing more than push him away.

Kosh's reaction shows that Akio hasn't lost his touch for making friends - he hasn't even met the guy and he's already offended him.

And the question remains, what is Nanami going to do? There's evidently some sort of plan of action (probably something Akio came up with involving Corwin and a quiet corner). I take it that without an invitation she was simply lurking somewhere, having a coffee on the Zocala or something.

D.


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O_M
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40. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #38
 
   And the question remains, what is Nanami going to do? There's evidently some sort of plan of action (probably something Akio came up with involving Corwin and a quiet corner). I take it that without an invitation she was simply lurking somewhere, having a coffee on the Zocala or something.

Or talking shop with a certain Cardassian tailor. While getting fitted for something absolutely fabulous on Akio's credit card, naturally.


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Senji
Member since Apr-27-07
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Jul-29-08, 12:22 PM (EST)
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48. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #40
 
   >Or talking shop with a certain Cardassian tailor. While getting fitted
>for something absolutely fabulous on Akio's credit card,
>naturally.

I think the conversation I'd rather see there is Akio and that certain tailor, if only for the chance to see Akio turning down a pile of useful advice simply because of the source.


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Gryphonadmin
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47. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #38
 
   >And the question remains, what is Nanami going to do?

(Or, given her infernal nature, whom?)

>I take it that without an
>invitation she was simply lurking somewhere, having a coffee on the
>Zocala or something.

Pretty much, yeah. Nothin' much to do but kill time. Or commit sabotage. We'll probably never know now.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Pasha
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Jul-29-08, 04:20 PM (EST)
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51. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #47
 
   >>And the question remains, what is Nanami going to do?
>
>(Or, given her infernal nature, whom?)

*raises an eyebrow*

..and here I thought you didn't write those kinds of stories, Mr Hutchins...

--
-Pasha
What was this feeling again?
Oh yes.
-Rage-


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clg
Member since Sep-20-05
108 posts
Jul-29-08, 05:14 PM (EST)
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53. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #51
 
   >>>And the question remains, what is Nanami going to do?
>>
>>(Or, given her infernal nature, whom?)
>
>*raises an eyebrow*
>
>..and here I thought you didn't write those kinds of stories, Mr
>Hutchins...

Now, now… it's not like he said anything about leaving the camera on.

Now that I think of it, this event, coming right after the exchange of swords, might present an interesting dilemma for Corwin -- break his vow, or alienate someone who might need him. I have no doubt which he'd decide, but still, this could turn ugly.

- Chad

- Chad


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Pasha
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54. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #53
 
  
>Now, now… it's not like he said anything about leaving the camera on.

I was (mostly) joking. :)

>Now that I think of it, this event, coming right after the exchange of
>swords, might present an interesting dilemma for Corwin -- break his
>vow, or alienate someone who might need him. I have no doubt which
>he'd decide, but still, this could turn ugly.

See..my vote is that he offers terms of defection. "Your boss went round the bend, he's used up all his allies, I've got a good chance of getting backing to go kill him, join us now, tell us what you know, you get spared."

--
-Pasha
What was that feeling again?
Oh yes.
-Rage-


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Gryphonadmin
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55. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #54
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jul-29-08 AT 07:26 PM (EDT)
 
>"Your boss went
>round the bend, he's used up all his allies, I've got a good chance of
>getting backing to go kill him, join us now, tell us what you know,
>you get spared."

"Come with me if you want to live."

--G.
"Your move. Creep."
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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clg
Member since Sep-20-05
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Jul-29-08, 10:52 PM (EST)
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57. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #54
 
   >See..my vote is that he offers terms of defection. "Your boss went
>round the bend, he's used up all his allies, I've got a good chance of
>getting backing to go kill him, join us now, tell us what you know,
>you get spared."

Probably true; I was talking about the hypothetical Nanami comes on to Corwin event, not the actual Nanami shows up on the Wonder event. My bet is, she's not going to accept just yet, since Akio hasn't used up all his allies/minions, and Corwin probably won't get the chance to kill him given the political situation.

Either that, or she's planning to defect already, and the whole Nall-at-swordpoint thing was a misunderstanding. (Or an act to cover her ass; who knows what kind of scrying's been put on her?)

- Chad

- Chad


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drakensis
Member since Dec-20-06
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Jul-30-08, 05:03 AM (EST)
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58. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #57
 
   >>See..my vote is that he offers terms of defection. "Your boss went
>>round the bend, he's used up all his allies, I've got a good chance of
>>getting backing to go kill him, join us now, tell us what you know,
>>you get spared."
>
>Probably true; I was talking about the hypothetical Nanami comes on
>to Corwin
event, not the actual Nanami shows up on the
>Wonder
event. My bet is, she's not going to accept just yet,
>since Akio hasn't used up all his allies/minions, and Corwin probably
>won't get the chance to kill him given the political situation.
>
>Either that, or she's planning to defect already, and the whole
>Nall-at-swordpoint thing was a misunderstanding. (Or an act to cover
>her ass; who knows what kind of scrying's been put on her?)

Corwin: "Nanami, I just got married. I know it might surprise your brother and your boss, but you know I'm not going to screw that up."
Nanami: "I thought that that just got called off."
Corwin: "Marriage is a relationship, not a ceremony. Utena and I are married, we'll do the song and dance routine later. If you want to tag along on the honeymoon cruise then you're going to have to have a seperate bedroom and bring your own toothbrush."
Nanami: "Well if I'm going to get the chance to hear you sing..."
Nall: "You really don't want to. Kate got all the musical talent in the family..."
Corwin: "Nall..."

D.


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trigger
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Jul-30-08, 08:15 PM (EST)
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60. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #58
 
   I was going to stay silent until I'd finished re-reading Ash-knight, but this grabbed me.

>Corwin: "Nanami, I just got married. I know it might surprise your
>brother and your boss, but you know I'm not going to screw that up."

Um I hate to say this, but there is no chance that Corwin is going to screw this up. He gave his oath at the Monolith, and he's kept it throughout the madness. If Nanami needed help or comfort, then Corwin would do what ever Corwin would do and Utena would not be hurt.

Man, I can't even believe some people actually thought sex between Nanami and Corwin would be an issue...

t.
returns to radio silence.

Trigger Argee
trigger_argee@hotmail.com
Manon, Maccadon, Orado, etc.
Denton, never leave home without it.

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - HST


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Kokuten
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Jul-29-08, 05:17 AM (EST)
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43. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   Exciting, dramatic, Good Stuff.. but the afterburners didn't kick in for me until..

"Mimi, we have a problem. Akio Ohtori is here."

cue plummeting stomach.

"You better watch yourself," X went on. "Riddick has the death
sentence in twelve systems."
The tricolored dog's lip curled back from one gleaming white
canine tooth, but he still didn't growl.

Don't know whether to laugh or cry.. works, though I have to stretch a bit to see X _not_ playing the heavy..

<<we are watching.>>

*raises a single finger in Kosh's direction*

I hate veiled mystical crap. I hate vorlons.

'course, Kosh is a Good Guy, yes, and this was a good use.. I just.. hate vorlons.


'Lord Trigon'

*snork*

I get a sick little 'impending doom' thrill whenever I get reminded of that..

"I'll give you this, Frey.
You've got -balls- walking in here right now."

"I've had my -fill- of Freyja's
crazy shit. This madness must end... " He looked down at the floor
again. "... for now I truly fear that's what it is."


need an Eyrie Tropes Wiki.. 'cause that's a foreshadow for Redemption With Sacrifice if I've ever seen one. Good to see, though. Freya's done enough.


Mitsuru suggested it and we all agreed it was the best way. To
just pretend he isn't even here." With a slight smirk, he added, "For
an attention whore like him, that should be worse than a punch in the
face."

Good Call Mitsuru! Would have worked REALLY well, too.

<Gryph. We've got a problem.>
<Tell me about it,> he replied wryly.
<No, I mean besides that.

Cue stomach drop again.. that's never a good thing.


Corwin angled his head vaguely toward the door. "What about
what's-his-name?"
"Pff," Utena replied. "He had his chance. The hell with him."
"Okay."

Wish we'd had a chance to see that work.. ah well.

"I am Praefecta Flavia Satori
of the LXVI Legion. My lord Legatus Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa bids me
place myself and my detachment at your service in the coming battle."

Was I on the parapets in Cimerora pounding traitorous versions of those nice folks earlier today?

Frigg gave them another slight smile. "Fear not," she said -
and, with a small gesture, she caused Utena's wedding-crown to reappear
upon her head. "An old woman's fancy shan't delay you long."


Understatement. She has it.

"Hello, Corwin," said Nanami with a smile.

...you're a bastard, Gryphon.


--
Kokuten Daysleeper
RCW #13013
(Insert Witticism Here)


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Gryphonadmin
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Jul-29-08, 09:46 AM (EST)
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46. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #43
 
   >"I am Praefecta Flavia Satori
>of the LXVI Legion. My lord Legatus Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa bids me
>place myself and my detachment at your service in the coming
>battle."

>
>Was I on the parapets in Cimerora pounding traitorous versions of
>those nice folks earlier today?

No.

1) Issue 12 went live nearly a month after that BPGD file appeared;

2) None of my characters has ever been there.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Meagen
Member since Jul-14-02
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Jul-30-08, 10:31 AM (EST)
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59. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jul-30-08 AT 10:45 AM (EDT)
 
Edit: moved to new thread.

--
With great power come great perks.


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BobSchroeck
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64. "RE: Clarion Call"
In response to message #0
 
   This is what I get for being too busy to read the new stuff right this damned minute -- everybody else gets to say all the gushing praise I wanted to say, and I'm reduced to either a dozen "reply-with-quotes" saying "ditto" or one pathetic note reading "what they all said."

What they all said.

-- Bob
-------------------
I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from Now We Are Six through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So theeeeeere...


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