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Eyrie Productions, Unlimited
Lantz_blades
Charter Member
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Dec-02-07, 06:19 AM (EDT) |
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"So far..."
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LAST EDITED ON Dec-04-07 AT 00:24 AM (EST) I just finished reading chapter three and since i don't know where reviews go here's my current score and opinion. score is 6 of 100 (never given 100 mind you)
My opinion however is mostly positive as it's good writing. Having said this i find a few things out of place.
1) Rei's reaction to DJ doesn't sit well. Rei didn't talk to anyone except the commander until Shinji saved her life. and DJ arrives sits down and she feels compelled to talk to him? this seems wrong but then maybe your Rei doesn't take the meds the original character did. 2)DJ has a flat background one that we're just supposed to accept, not to mention he's a bit of a road runner. I know it's early and this could change but it still doesn't sit well. 3)sync tables all out of wack. by how DJ sync's with a suit he'd have berserker all the time if it had his mom of bulter in it. otherwise i find the story to be unfolding nicely, i like jon quite a bit for some reason. Ok offsides has a point. i'd best explain my scoring system else misunderstanding may ensue. my table is divded into a number of parts 1) writing NXE 20/20 2)characters Rei 6/10 Jon 3/10 DJ 3/10 Gendo 1/2 Misato 2/5 Ritsuko 1/5 maya 1/5 3)plot holes minus 2 for every plot hole i find. 4) bad taste Minus one for anything I find in bad taste. 5) Good taste/creativity Plus one for creative explanations and the like. there you have it my system. |
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BlackAeronaut
Member since Apr-15-15
115 posts |
Dec-02-07, 08:43 AM (EDT) |
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1. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #0
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>I just finished reading chapter three and since i don't know where >reviews go here's my current score and opinion. Dude... Just sit back, enjoy the ride, and try not to think too hard about it. There's plenty of time for that -after- you're done with your first read-through. >My opinion however is mostly positive as it's good writing. Having >said this i find a few things out of place. > >1) Rei's reaction to DJ doesn't sit well. Rei didn't talk to anyone >except the commander until Shinji saved her life. and DJ arrives sits >down and she feels compelled to talk to him? this seems wrong but then >maybe your Rei doesn't take the meds the original character did. Don't be silly. DJ did the same thing that Shinji did, and more. Afterwards, DJ goes and spends some quiet time with her. Wouldn't you feel compelled to be a little more talkative with someone who comes into your hospital room to give you some friendly quiet company? >2)DJ has a flat background one that we're just supposed to accept, not >to mention he's a bit of a road runner. I know it's early and this >could change but it still doesn't sit well. Define 'flat background'. If you mean that he really doesn't have much of a background, then chill out. This is a pretty big piece, and in something this size you're not gonna learn all the big details until you're at least half-way through. >3)sync tables all out of wack. by how DJ sync's with a suit he'd have >berserker all the time if it had his mom of bulter in it. The hell? Could you kindly clarify what on Earth you're trying to say here? >otherwise i find the story to be unfolding nicely, i like jon quite a >bit for some reason. Yeah, I know. Hear it all the time. Take note of my snarkage directed at the other NXE reviewers back in the other thread you started. Honestly, it makes me wonder why so many people gotta be so pretentious about fanfic. It ain't like these guys are trying to get published here or anything. Gryphon and myself will be the first to tell you: we differ wildly. However, we do have one critical thing in common, and that thing is that we both like to have fun writing the kinda stuff that makes people minded like us become giddy with fanboy/girl delight. I'm not saying this to be elitist or anything. I just want you to stop over-thinking this (or, as we like to say in the Navy, don't nuke it) and just enjoy the read through to the end. This isn't fanfiction.net, and besides, you wouldn't put down The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Glalaxy every chapter to dash off an email to Douglas Adams, would you? Black Aeronaut Technologies Creative aerospace solutions for the discerning spacer "To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News of this kind a danish requires." |
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Lantz_blades
Charter Member
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Dec-02-07, 03:58 PM (EDT) |
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5. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #1
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Ok well first off. I'm not thinking too hard just collecting my thoughts when i stop for the day, believe it or not it actually helps me continue reading the work. I agree that I would like it if someone like DJ spent time with me while i was hold up like that but Rei I'm not. the difference being after hanging out with DJ for a couple of days i wouldn't shoot him dead, Rei on the other hand would. I mean after Asuka showed up Rei stated that she'd be Asuka's friend if ordered to. getting in Eva the first time doesn't really count in the life saving dept tho. DJ's background is incredible simple. Lara is his mom so we're supposed to accept that he has all this talent and charm. (Tho admittedly if he had none of it i'd probably be more annoyed) while it's understandable it's also interchangeable and that bugs me a bit.
what i meant about the sync table was that at 30% you can move Eva. 41% for a first timer is a miracle and (correct me on this) DJ jumps to 71 in a month. Sure DJ's human? by this standard Asuka should have like 120 or some such thing given her years of training. It seems like the standard has been set lower for DJ, he never has to jump nearly as hard to get over the hurtles. |
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Gryphon
Charter Member
22374 posts |
Dec-02-07, 04:17 PM (EDT) |
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6. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #5
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LAST EDITED ON Dec-02-07 AT 04:22 PM (EST) >Sure DJ's human?You know, it's funny you should ask. And, see, here we are again. You're on part three of a 28-part series and you're acting like there's no possibility that anything you don't already get will ever be expanded on. I shrug in your general direction. >It seems like the standard has been set lower for DJ, he never has to >jump nearly as hard to get over the hurtles. Heh. One toke, you poor fool? Wait'll you see those goddamn bats, man. --G. -><- Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
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Offsides
Charter Member
1264 posts |
Dec-02-07, 03:43 PM (EDT) |
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4. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #3
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>haha it really is a complicated scoring system honest. Honestly the 6 >to 10 range is where people usually end up by the third and fourth >chapters anyways. I could give you the break down if you'd like tho Dude - if your scoring system is something other than a straight scale, either explain it before using it, or don't use it in public. It doesn't matter how accurate/complicated/special it is - if the people who you're giving the information to can't understand it (or better yet, are likely to interpret it differently from you), then you're wasting your breath. Or, to put it in simpler terms, don't tell someone that it "tastes like chicken" if you know that they've never had chicken... Offsides [...] in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles. -- David Ben Gurion EPU RCW #π #include <stdsig.h> |
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Ardaniel
Charter Member
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Dec-02-07, 05:31 PM (EDT) |
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7. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #0
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Didn't I invite you to go somewhere? *scratches head* Ard Sumhenner that Janice chick Usual Suspect and general menace |
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BlackAeronaut
Member since Apr-15-15
115 posts |
Dec-02-07, 07:10 PM (EDT) |
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9. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #0
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LAST EDITED ON Dec-02-07 AT 07:16 PM (EST) OMFG...Dude. We all tell you to relax, remove the stick from thy ass, and enjoy the show. Instead, you go and invent a rating system off the top of your head that factors in not only the story itself, but the characters as well. Congratulations. You are officially a Blowhard. I'd advise you to take Ard up on her advice and make a graceful exit from these forums before you embarrass yourself even further by forcing the staff to lock you out. EDIT: Oh, and I don't think Offsides really wanted to know that much detail... I sure as hell didn't. Black Aeronaut Technologies Creative aerospace solutions for the discerning spacer "To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News of this kind a danish requires." |
"Your rules do not apply here." |
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Lantz_blades
Charter Member
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Dec-02-07, 07:54 PM (EDT) |
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10. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #9
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first off i AM enjoying the show save for a few moments. secondly i don't think you understand what i meant. writing refers to the technical aspect not the story, like i showed technically NXE is perfect. There's no where i misunderstand the events taking place. Character refers to how they're portrayed and the actions they take and so on. this system BTW has been a staple of mine for awhile. No he may not of but still he made a good point so i thought i should fix it |
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BZArcher
Member since Nov-9-05
1783 posts |
Dec-02-07, 09:47 PM (EDT) |
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11. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #10
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> >this system BTW has been a staple of mine for awhile. >And I guess that's awesome for you, but you act like we're supposed to know all these things about you, when as far as most of the regulars here can tell you're about as well known as a pikachupacabra. Perhaps less. I do think that you seem to mean well, but all you're doing is turning a hole into a oubliette. I really think if you're going to post your "scores", wait until you at least finish the first season, so you have a better idea of what you're reading. Also, complete paragraphs and coherent sentence structure are tasty and well regarded.
--------------------------- Jaymie "BZArcher" Wagner She/They @BZArcher / bzarcher at gmail "Life is change. Let’s live.” |
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simonz
Member since Jun-23-04
86 posts |
Dec-02-07, 10:08 PM (EDT) |
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13. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #10
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LAST EDITED ON Dec-02-07 AT 10:19 PM (EST) Please allow me to clue you in to a few things about this forum that you apparently haven't picked up on yet. People here don't take too kindly to self-professed critics, to say nothing of their nebulously referred to 'peers'. We're generally happy to hear anyone's opinion and debate in a rational manner. However, when such a critic hasn't even finished reading the work in question, fails to cotton on to extremely non-subtle hints, and doggedly defends their own arbitrary opinions in the face of extensive explanation as to what they're not understanding, our patience wears thin very quickly. The fact that you seem to have a good deal of difficulty forming your thoughts into coherent, grammatically correct sentences is just the icing on the cake, and completely destroys any credibility you possibly could have had as a critic. Please, if you can't take a hint, be quiet or go away. Preferably both. |
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Peter Eng
Charter Member
2045 posts |
Dec-03-07, 01:32 AM (EDT) |
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15. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #10
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"First off, I am enjoying the show, save for a few moments. Secondly, I don't think you understand what I meant. Writing refers to the technical aspect, not the story. Technically, NXE is perfect. There's nowhere I misunderstand the events taking place." That's true, to the limits of what you've read. If I showed you a ten-foot long footprint with flecks of paint in it, you'd be justified in saying it was left by a giant robot. But without researching it more, I doubt you could say whether it was Ultraman or EVA-01. You've seen a character capable of doing things that shouldn't be possible. Is it because there's more to his abilities than you've seen, or because he's just being written over the top? "This system, BTW, has been a staple of mine for a while." A system which, I should note, appears to be weighted towards giving average scores of fifteen or so on a scale of one hundred. This is not exactly an intuitive thing for a scale of one to one hundred. "No, he may not have, but still, he made a good point, so I thought I should fix it." Kind of you. Peter Eng -- Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go-oh-oh, Somebody find Jack Bauer... |
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Offsides
Charter Member
1264 posts |
Dec-03-07, 07:28 AM (EDT) |
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16. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #10
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>No he may not of but still he made a good point so i thought i should >fix it Clearly you missed the point, sou I'll spell it out in very small words: Do not give us ratings using your scoring system. Period. As someone else pointed out, a scoring system that's intentionally skewed to give ratings in the bottom 10-20% of the total range is not really useful. Your breakdown of your score (out of a so-called 100) lists 37 out of a possible 67(?!?!?) points for positives, and a whopping 31 points for negatives. Since you subtracted 2 points for everything that you consider to be a plot hole in the first three chapters, and 1 point for anything you consider in bad taste, I expect your score to drop asymptotically to 0 as you read and keep assuming things. I suggest you stick to something simpler, like thumbs up/down. Go ahead and use 2 if you like, I'm assuming you're not 1-handed. Offsides P.S. My apologies to the rest of the forum for making him spell out his ridiculous scoring system. [...] in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles. -- David Ben Gurion EPU RCW #π #include <stdsig.h> |
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twipper
Member since Jan-8-03
279 posts |
Dec-03-07, 09:48 AM (EDT) |
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17. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #0
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LAST EDITED ON Dec-03-07 AT 09:49 AM (EST) Might I suggest you NEVER read Children of an Elder God (http://www.thekeep.org/~rpm/eva/coaeg.html) then. Talk about a Eva fanfic that is as far from being Eva as you can get. And, for what it is, just as enjoyable to me as NXE was, taking into account the very different reasons for that enjoyment.I'm amused, having read Rod M.'s review of NXE Season 1 last week, that he could make the assertations he did. Is Eva Meets Cthullu really any different of an assumption than the basis of NXE? Brian *Must learn to spell one of these decades. |
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Tabasco
Member since Dec-4-06
186 posts |
Dec-03-07, 10:36 AM (EDT) |
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18. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #17
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LAST EDITED ON Dec-03-07 AT 10:38 AM (EST) Or Sic Semper Morituri, for that matter,http://home.att.net/%7Edanjess.gibson/headers.htm Which manages to not only have the Cthulhu mythos, but also adds a time shift to 1947 and a dash of Ranma and Oh My Goddess just to spice things up further. Either in spite of or, because of, that I'm even more fond of it than I am of Children of an Elder God, but certainly not material for canon sticklers. But anyway, the point here is that there's nothing wrong with broadening your horizons a tad. You might find something outside the box that you really like.
-------------------- Space for Rent |
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Norgarth
Member since Jun-18-02
360 posts |
Dec-03-07, 11:02 AM (EDT) |
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19. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #0
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This is not a rating out of 100, because it is not possible to reach 100 even with a 'perfect' fic. Hell, your scale as described can't even reach 75. 3)plot holes minus 2 for every plot hole i find. And if those plot holes are filled in a later chapter do you add those 2 pts back? If not, than any fic you read is doomed to negative numbers unless it's rather short. And what do you consider to be 'bad taste'? ------------- Lead me not to temptation, for I can find it myself. Norgarth |
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Gryphon
Charter Member
22374 posts |
Dec-03-07, 01:42 PM (EDT) |
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21. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #19
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>And what do you consider to be 'bad taste'? Oh, there's a can of worms we don't want to open. And by "we don't want to open," I mean "I don't want you to open." --G. -><- Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
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Lantz_blades
Charter Member
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Dec-04-07, 00:19 AM (EDT) |
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23. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #19
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>This is not a rating out of 100, because it is not possible to >reach 100 even with a 'perfect' fic. Hell, your scale as >described can't even reach 75. > >3)plot holes > >minus 2 for every plot hole i find. > >And if those plot holes are filled in a later chapter do you add those >2 pts back? > >If not, than any fic you read is doomed to negative numbers unless >it's rather short. > >And what do you consider to be 'bad taste'? true that the scale looks that way but what i've shown is just an example.
yes i do give those points back. bad taste is simply whatever happens to leave a bad taste in my mouth, everyone's different in that regard so i don't think i need to explain it. |
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VA_Wanderer
Charter Member
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Dec-03-07, 03:11 PM (EDT) |
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22. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #0
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I've never seen how trolls rate things in such intricate, excruciating detail until now. For that, I give you -seven- out of 100. Superior to NXE! (Seriously, you write reviews about as poorly as you rate fanfic. Grammar, reasons, a command of the English language that does not harm optic nerves from viewing. Use them.)
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Ardaniel
Charter Member
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Dec-04-07, 02:20 PM (EDT) |
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25. "RE: So far..."
In response to message #0
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OK, gang. This has all been terribly entertaining for the few days it's gone on and all, but, really, now is the time when the moderator hat comes out. Lantz, you need to step back and take the advice of many of your fellow Forumites. Calm down and *read the entire series.* More than that, read the NXE forum archives. You are not a unique snowflake, and you are not contributing anything novel, other than a basic failure to comprehend how numerical rating systems work. The rest of you can stop chasing him now. Many of you have come forth to tell him why he's wrong, and he's not listening, so we'll take care of it: 1) I'm locking both these threads, as they're not doing anything but increasing the general noise level.
2) Lantz, take a week off. We'll see you again, if you choose, on Tuesday, December 11th, 2007. I suggest you finish up the series, then go back and read the NXE forum, including the archived threads, if you're determined to pursue this. (The Forum's search form will give you 247 topics in the NXE forum if you search on *, then set the next dropdown to "Neon Exodus Evangelion," leave the second dropdown on "All," the third one on "Search Only Current Topics," and then tick the box next to "archived topics." I don't know how fast you read, but a week seems about fair.) This is no longer an invitation, Lantz. This is the moderator telling you to take an enforced vacation and recalibrate both your math skills and your sense of entitlement.
Ard Sumhenner that Janice chick Usual Suspect and Forum moderator |
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version 3.3 © 2001
Eyrie Productions,
Unlimited
Benjamin
D. Hutchins
E P U (Colour)
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