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Subject: "The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:" Archived thread - Read only
 
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Gryphonadmin
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22375 posts
Jan-16-07, 03:17 PM (EDT)
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"The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
 
   I was slumped on a rock in Gorgoroth, feeling dangerously out of phase with my surroundings. Something ugly was about to happen. I was sure of it. The cave looked like the site of some disastrous zoological experiment involving whiskey and giant spiders. My gardener was sprawled nearby, utterly insensate, surrounded by torn leaves and fragments of lembas bread. Our attorney was kneeling stark naked in the corner, vomiting into Sam's pack, thinking he was actually outside.

"Ach. It's this damned mescaline," he guttered, wobbling unsteadily toward me. "Why does they have to makes it so pure, precious?"

I grunted and threw a rock at my gardener. "Get up, you pig!" I yelled. "We have to get moving!"

"We should leaves him here," our attorney said. "Nasty fat 'obbit, he only slows us down."

"We can't do that!" I protested. "Without him, who's going to carry the stash?"

"He'll get us arrested, he will, gollum," our attorney said.

"Any more talk like that and I'll put the fucking leeches on you," I said.

- Excerpt from Fear and Loathing in Mordor: A Savage Journey to the Dark Heart of Middle-earth


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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: Moonsword Jan-16-07 1
     RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: Wedge Jan-16-07 3
         RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: Moonsword Jan-17-07 5
     RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: Gryphonadmin Jan-17-07 6
         RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: jadmire Jan-17-07 7
             RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: Gryphonadmin Jan-17-07 8
                 RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: Moonsword Jan-17-07 10
                     RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: Gryphonadmin Jan-17-07 11
  RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: jadmire Jan-16-07 2
  RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: BlackAeronaut Jan-17-07 4
     RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: McFortner Jan-17-07 9
         RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: Moonsword Jan-19-07 12
             RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: McFortner Jan-19-07 13
                 RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination: Moonsword Jan-20-07 14

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Moonsword
Member since Mar-15-22
30 posts
Jan-16-07, 03:52 PM (EDT)
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1. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #0
 
   ... That is the most sublimely bizarre thing I have ever seen you write. It's pretty far up the list for things I've ever seen written, too.

That said, cool.


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Wedge
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Jan-16-07, 05:35 PM (EDT)
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3. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #1
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jan-16-07 AT 05:35 PM (EST)
 
Gryph mentioned something about Ralph Steadman, the conversation turned to the idea of a Lord of the Rings as illustrated by Mr. Steadman, one thing lead to another...


Chad Collier
Smirking Kilrathi
The Captain of the Gravy Train
"Oh, the misunderstandings. All those Red Alerts, all that dancing."


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Moonsword
Member since Mar-15-22
30 posts
Jan-17-07, 12:35 PM (EDT)
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5. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #3
 
   Lord of the Rings as written by Hunter S. Thompson... there's a hobbit, somewhere, that died the night this was written, Wedge. He died kicking and screaming. It was painful and it was graphic. Although it was probably less painful than the one that died the night they started turning parts of the epic into off-Broadway amateur theater.

He didn't die in vain, either. Creepy and disturbing, yes, and probably the product of a disturbed mind, this is funny as hell, whatever that says for my mental stability.


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Gryphonadmin
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Jan-17-07, 02:22 PM (EDT)
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6. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #1
 
   >... That is the most sublimely bizarre thing I have ever seen you
>write.

And the funny thing is, I was pressed for time, so I had to leave out the paragraph about how Sam spent the entire hike through the Emyn Muil muttering in lurid detail about things he'd like to do with that 30 feet of elven rope and the person who gave it to him, given his 'druthers and a couple of hours, forcing Frodo to take refuge in the ether.

"There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a hobbit in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. Probably at the edge of the Dead Marshes. We had sampled almost everything else, and now - yes, it was time for a long snort of ether. And then do the next dozen miles in a horrible, slobbering sort of spastic stupor."

--G.
"Gandalf Grey Almighty, where'd you get that pigfucker?" "The elves gave it to me. I needed something to cut the limes." "Limes? What limes?" "They didn't have any. They don't grow in Lothlórien."
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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jadmire
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Jan-17-07, 06:33 PM (EDT)
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7. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #6
 
   All things considered, if I were about to trek through the Dead Marshes, I think I'd prefer to be on ether myself rather than have to look at the "tricksy lights". Oh, that's right, you're not supposed to look at them...

-Joe-


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Gryphonadmin
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Jan-17-07, 07:03 PM (EDT)
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8. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #7
 
   >All things considered, if I were about to trek through the Dead
>Marshes, I think I'd prefer to be on ether myself rather than have to
>look at the "tricksy lights".

Under the circumstances, certainly better ether than acid.

--G.
"There's a big... thing in the sky. Some kind of... electric snake. Coming right at us." "Get Legolas to shoot it." "Not yet. I want to study its habits."
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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Moonsword
Member since Mar-15-22
30 posts
Jan-17-07, 08:49 PM (EDT)
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10. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #8
 
   ...Going on LSD right before going through the Dead Marshes is the drug is the Middle Earth equivalent of playing cop-killer rap in Gotham while dealing drugs, flicking off the entire Rogues Gallery, and yelling to the skies, "Come and get me, Batbitch!"


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Gryphonadmin
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22375 posts
Jan-17-07, 08:50 PM (EDT)
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11. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #10
 
   Ah, devil ether. It makes you act like the village Took in some early Buckland novel.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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jadmire
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Jan-16-07, 05:22 PM (EDT)
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2. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #0
 
   Leeches....? OK, no, I don't want to know.

Weird, man. Just plain weird. But, in its creepy way, funny.

-Joe-


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BlackAeronaut
Member since Apr-15-15
115 posts
Jan-17-07, 08:14 AM (EDT)
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4. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #0
 
   .....

You know, I've said it before, but I'll say it again anyways. I really need to read that book. And I don't mean the Tolkien.


Black Aeronaut Technologies
Creative aerospace solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News of this kind a danish requires."


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McFortner
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Jan-17-07, 07:58 PM (EDT)
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9. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #4
 
   I went a bit hi-tech and downloaded the unabridged audio book from my library's site. Gives me something to listen to while I'm in the hospital the next two days having my arteries roto-rootered.

Michael



Michael C. Fortner
RCW #2n+1

"I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time."
-- Mark Twain



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Moonsword
Member since Mar-15-22
30 posts
Jan-19-07, 01:11 PM (EDT)
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12. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #9
 
   *winces*

Ouch. Seriously, good luck with that. Glad you've got the audio book to listen to.


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McFortner
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561 posts
Jan-19-07, 06:00 PM (EDT)
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13. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #12
 
   Ok, I'm home now. I'm tired, but ok. No problems this time, just one stint needed.

Last month, they did the first stint and had a collapse of the artery below it and had to have two more put in, which is why they waited on this one for a month. I'm just sore since he put in stitches too on the artery.

The only problem was I was too tired to finish the book. I kept falling asleep during it! I'll try to finish it the next few days. For some reason, it got it's hooks into me and is refusing to let go.

Michael




Michael C. Fortner
RCW #2n+1

"I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time."
-- Mark Twain



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Moonsword
Member since Mar-15-22
30 posts
Jan-20-07, 11:17 AM (EDT)
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14. "RE: The dangers of a cross-referential imagination:"
In response to message #13
 
   Glad to hear you're okay. Get some rest, man. I know from watching my dad go through similar stuff that surgery like that really takes it out of people.


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