46 You can look inside another world
You get to talk to a pretty girl
She's everything you dream about
But don't fall in love
She's a beauty
A one-in-a-million girl
Why would I lie?

52 Yahagi's first appears way the hell back in #include <R-TYPE>, if memory serves. Oddly enough, it's named after Shogo Yahagi, the protagonist of MegaZone 23.

96 This line of thought, and its obvious absurdity, are from a conversation a friend of mine once had over dinner with a Not Significant Other.

123 Is it me or do hotel room service menus always contain a Cheeses of the World platter?

124 This scene is intended to mirror Revolutionary Girl Utena episode 33, "The Prince Who Runs in the Night" - the episode in which Akio takes Utena to a hotel under the pretense of a friendly holiday, then seduces her. More on this later; at any rate, before that scene there are a number of intercut sequences showing the two of them doing various innocuous things while Utena becomes slowly more and more nervous without seeming to know why, and this part of the story is the conterpart to that buildup.

135 And now Utena knows why the Customs guy back in Hogtown Rhapsody thought she looked familiar.

164 Utena ought to know better, but it's very likely that she's unconsciously trying not to think of what might be making her nervous.

209 I thought for a long time that I had cadged this phrasing from someplace, but I couldn't for the life of me think where. Then I was re-reading a book I hadn't read in years, and there it was: it's an echo of something Sue Grafton wrote about Kinsey Millhone and her landlord, Henry Pitts, in A is for Alibi. Sorry, Sue! I didn't do it on purpose, but it's too damn elegant to take out now.

249 And this is from, of all things, From Russia With Love, though Ian Fleming was talking about the firepower of the Walther PPK. Sometimes it's hard having a large but poorly indexed literary database for a brain.

253 This whole sequence was extremely difficult and painful to write, and, like most pieces of this kind, exploded out of my brain in a single convulsive burst that kept me up much later than I intended... but I'm still pleased with it today, which is telling. I think I was able to convey the changing tone of the evening with the pace of the text - friendly and leisurely, then the sudden explosive roller-coaster surge, then the equally sudden wrenching crash - and that makes me happy, even if the subject matter hurts.

258 It's one of the critical features of Corwin's character that he obeys this instruction immediately and without question, despite being beside himself with desire for her at the point when it's issued.

360 This bit I'm not as happy with. Corwin's too equivocal - he qualifies what he's saying and dilutes its impact enormously with words like "knowingly" and "deliberately". On the one hand, he kind of has to. He knows better than pretty much anyone in his peer group the power of promises and the dangers of making incautiously worded ones. On the other hand, it blunts what should've been a much more powerful moment, and it's out of character for Corwin to even care about that at a time like this.

380 Unsettlingly enough... yes, pretty much.

406 And now we know why she didn't want to go to Canada's Playland in Hogtown.

451 Utena didn't quibble about this choice of words, but a few readers did. I stand by it. It wasn't a violent rape, but Akio took her there under false pretenses - hell, he'd made friends with her under false pretenses, leading her to fall in love with a persona that didn't really exist - and created a situation where he could set up a serious conflict in her mind and heart. He arranged matters so that she was completely wrong-footed by the situation, then cynically exploited the resulting confusion and mental dissonance.

If you've been following the series right along and you've grown attached to Utena, as I had and did, that episode is the ultimate I-can't-look-away-from-the-impending-train-wreck experience. The horror-movie analogy back on line 130 is there for a reason: the episode this story mirrors feels like a half-hour-long version of the scene in a horror movie where every fiber of your being strains to warn the characters on the screen not to open that door. I found it hideously traumatic and I'm not too grown-up and sophisticated to admit it. In a way, everything about this arc of the Symphony has to do with my reaction to that episode - especially the moment near the end where they make it as crystal clear as they can, within broadcast rules, that Utena's just been taken.

And this isn't the last time we'll deal with that moment, either.

483 Meaningless platitude? Maybe - and maybe not. What was I saying earlier about promises?

488 For those who have read this scene, and looked at the accompanying illustration Sad Girl with Demigod: if the pose seems familiar, it's for a very good reason. I derived the original image layout from an Utena/Anthy illustration seen in the SKU Art Collection, on the far left corner of page 135. While the original image was one of a happy reunion, the change of characters (Utena for Anthy, Corwin for Utena), costumes, and expressions made for a very different (but very successful) picture.

(As an aside - drawing two characters embracing while crying? That's easy. Drawing and coloring two characters so they're in a darkened room in the middle of the night while still being visible? That's hard.) PJM

541 This might be the first sighting of a rocket cop.

653 This mirrors something she said to Anthy, long ago.

664 Corwin's personal theme, and a decently upbeat way to end what was undoubtedly the hardest - but also one of the most rewarding - pieces of the Symphony to write.

Much like Tower Shrouded in Frost, this story doesn't wholly fit the pattern of other FI stories, and doesn't fit the pattern of the stories around it either. Not directly, anyway.

But at the same time it's a good piece of work.

Corwin's ire at the whole situation with Akio is a major driving force for him, especially during his Trial, and I think this story does a good job of driving it home to HIM, as well as the reader, how messed up the whole affair is. I don't think that Knights could have held up as well without this scene. I'm not sure Corwin would've been able to do WHAT he does at the end of Knights quite so instantly if he did not truly understand what a monster Akio was in a manner that leaves a lasting impression.

Of course, it's all literary device, but hey, haven't I said before that the only sin is being boring?

Hm. I didn't notice this the first time around, but you have a point (though I'd argue it's not a really strong one, since I didn't notice the first time around, but eh). I think it might have worked a little better if you'd used something like "try to deceive you" instead of "knowingly tell you a lie" and something similar for "deliberately". That or make it more obviously parallel; Asgardian oaths like parallelism, I think. But it doesn't break the story the way it is, either.

(First time I've tried commenting on stylistic issues and wording; I hope it's welcome, and my apologies if it isn't.)