Clarkson (VO): On tonight's Top Gear: We fight for our lives against impossible odds with true grit and dauntless courage!

Int. day, Top Gear studio. All three presenters try to hide behind the interview couch, with predictable "success".

Clarkson: JAMES, WE'RE GOING TO BE KILLED!

Clarkson (VO): Richard faces an old foe...

Ext. day, Top Gear test track. A large truck-like vehicle sits on the tarmac. RICHARD HAMMOND enters from left, obviously shoved into frame against his will. He glares angrily at someone off-camera in that direction, then briskly straightens his leather jacket and walks warily toward the truck, his body language changing rapidly from angry to apprehensive.

Hammond (subdued): This is the HB-88. Better known as the Banzai Institute, uhm... ... jet car.

He swallows audibly.

Hammond: ... right.

Clarkson (VO): And the Stig runs an errand.

Int. day, posh office building. Tight shot on a heavy closed door.

Voice (muffled): Sir, you can't go in there!

The door crashes open. THE STIG stands framed in the doorway, his racing suit scuffed, rumpled, and even burned in a few places. Behind him on the floor, a few UNIFORMED BODIES can be seen.