I don't watch football any more, but I used to, and yeah, it sounds like someone took random football terms, put them in a blender on "frappe", and gave them to some Russian spambot to procedurally generate a jersey ad.

The whole scene sounds like something out of those old ESPN bumpers, with athletes in a cube farm. (I have a couple favorites, but I think the best one was when a soccer player kicked a recalcitrant printer, and it spit out a red card.)

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Authors of our fates
Orchestrate our fall from grace
Poorest players on the stage
Our defiance drives us straight to the edge