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Eyrie Productions, Unlimited
Peter Eng
Charter Member
2045 posts |
Sep-05-17, 11:39 AM (EDT) |
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"XCOM Internal Memo"
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Doctor: The X-rays shot the meld. Not XCOM people. It is not our fault. Similarly, it is not our fault that one of the X-rays was killed because it stood next to a burning car just before the car exploded. In short, stop whining. Peter Eng -- Insert humorous comment here. |
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MoonEyes
Member since Jun-29-03
1125 posts |
Sep-07-17, 07:06 AM (EDT) |
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7. "RE: XCOM Internal Memo"
In response to message #1
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>Instant mental image of XCOM-themed Gauntlet port. > >"Don't shoot the meld!" > >"Heavy shot the meld." Which in turn leads to Ghostbusters. "Don't look directly into the trap!" "I looked into the trap, Ray." ...! Stoke Mandeville, Esq & The Victorian Ballsmiths "Nobody Want Verdigris-Covered Balls!" |
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Mercutio
Member since May-26-13
942 posts |
Sep-05-17, 05:01 PM (EDT) |
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2. "RE: XCOM Internal Memo"
In response to message #0
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>Doctor: > >The X-rays shot the meld. Not XCOM people. It is not our fault. > >Similarly, it is not our fault that one of the X-rays was killed >because it stood next to a burning car just before the car exploded. > >In short, stop whining. A few years ago, I wrote up a treatment for an UF-compatible version of X-Com. There's a very good reason that good ol' Doctor Vahlen was the face of the baddies in it: she's that very special combination of ivory tower arrogant, annoyingly officious, and scientifically sinister that eventually results in bad science. The kind of science that cruises the periodic table at night looking for trouble. -Merc Keep Rat |
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Gryphon
Charter Member
22374 posts |
Sep-05-17, 05:49 PM (EDT) |
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3. "RE: XCOM Internal Memo"
In response to message #2
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>There's a very good reason that good ol' Doctor Vahlen was the face of >the baddies in it: she's that very special combination of ivory tower >arrogant, annoyingly officious, and scientifically sinister that >eventually results in bad science. I think she's supposed to be Swiss (it's the non-"VA didn't really get it right" explanation for why her German accent is so weird). I like to think she was at Universität Zürich at the same time as Angela Ziegler, who couldn't stand her. >The kind of science that cruises the periodic table at night looking >for trouble. "What is it this time?" "We found her trawling the lanthanide series again." "All right, we'll take it from here. Thanks, Sarge. ... What have I told you? Stay away from the rare earths." --G. -><- Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/ zgryphon at that email service Google has Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam. |
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Mercutio
Member since May-26-13
942 posts |
Sep-06-17, 11:07 AM (EDT) |
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5. "RE: XCOM Internal Memo"
In response to message #4
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>>I think she's supposed to be Swiss (it's the non-"VA didn't really get >>it right" explanation for why her German accent is so weird). I like >>to think she was at Universität Zürich at the same time as >>Angela Ziegler, who couldn't stand her. > >"I've made a healing ray and installed it in this staff. What did you >made?" >"Electroshock therapy the reads the subjects mind while disintegrating >it." >"...How fortunate this doubles as a club." "At least my scientific abominations are made on purpose and have theoretically non-evil applications! Yours is floating around dressed as Shadow the Hedgehog murdering people with shotguns, Angela." "You say that like it somehow gives you the moral high ground, Moira." -Merc Keep Rat |
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Matrix Dragon
Charter Member
1893 posts |
Sep-07-17, 07:09 AM (EDT) |
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8. "RE: XCOM Internal Memo"
In response to message #5
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>"At least my scientific abominations are made on purpose and have >theoretically non-evil applications! Yours is floating around >dressed as Shadow the Hedgehog murdering people with shotguns, >Angela." Oh, like Gabe wasn't doing that before his Life Changing Accident. Really, all Moira needs is someone with a spray bottle for when she gets too crazy. I fully believe that was the Commanders approach in XCOM 1. Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter |
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Mercutio
Member since May-26-13
942 posts |
Nov-04-17, 02:24 AM (EDT) |
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10. "RE: XCOM Internal Memo"
In response to message #3
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>I think she's supposed to be Swiss (it's the non-"VA didn't really get >it right" explanation for why her German accent is so weird). I like >to think she was at Universität Zürich at the same time as >Angela Ziegler, who couldn't stand her. So they just announced a new Overwatch hero today. A rogue geneticist with questionable morals who joined Blackwatch and then, after Overwatch collapsed, went on to do some... even more questionable things. Her name... is Moira. Well played, Ben. Well played. -Merc Keep Rat |
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Gryphon
Charter Member
22374 posts |
Oct-29-17, 02:24 PM (EDT) |
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9. "RE: XCOM Internal Memo"
In response to message #0
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LAST EDITED ON Oct-29-17 AT 02:24 PM (EDT) From Cmdr. Zebulon P. Gryphon To Central Officer John Bradford Re operations remindersBrad, Look, I know you're just trying to be helpful, but for Christ's sake I know we don't have a covert action running right now. I'm just going back to the other screen to review the soldiers' records, so that I know which two to send on the next one I've got picked out. If someone I know could provide that information in the covert ops ring, I wouldn't need to do that and create the unfortunate illusion that I've suddenly stopped giving a shit about covert ops, but that is apparently beyond the scope of our available IT technology. Not that I'm not grateful for your attention to detail, and indeed for springing me from Alien Captivity in the first place! But! Between you nagging me about stuff I'm literally in the process of doing as you nag me about it, Shen constantly bitching that some of her engineers are idle when they physically cannot all work on the currently available projects, and Tygan whining that the science team is idle seconds after presenting me with a list of precisely zero potential subjects for them to research, I'm getting a bit fed up. Jesus Christ, give a man 15 seconds to accomplish a complex task, will you? I'm a psionic Übermensch but I'm not a fucking god.* Yrs, Zeb *yet |
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The Traitor
Member since Feb-24-09
1197 posts |
Nov-04-17, 08:43 AM (EDT) |
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12. "RE: XCOM Internal Memo"
In response to message #9
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There's a voice line lurking in XCOM2:WotC that plays after the Chosen do a bit of bragging: Bradford: "Wow, Commander. And you thought I talked too much." --- "She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards. |
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Peter Eng
Charter Member
2045 posts |
Nov-12-17, 12:58 PM (EDT) |
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13. "RE: XCOM Internal Memo"
In response to message #0
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TO: mvahlen!xcom.mil RE: Whining.1. Nobody shot the meld. 2. The X-rays shot the forklift that exploded next to the meld. 3. WE SECURED THE MELD BEFORE THE EXPLOSION. We recognize your scientific genius, but it would be appreciated if you used your skills as a trained observer on occasions outside of your laboratory. Peter Eng -- Insert humorous comment here. |
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MoonEyes
Member since Jun-29-03
1125 posts |
Nov-23-17, 04:13 PM (EDT) |
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14. "RE: XCOM Internal Memo"
In response to message #13
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Which leads to the utter hatred felt when Central went yammering in my ear about the aliens shooting up the resistance camp, and that I REALLY need to get on the ball and SAVE these people already! Well, Bradford, in THAT case, DON'T drop the squad THREE FULL TURNS out, at full-tilt-boogie run as far as possible, AND below the main level of the area, when there are not one but TWO sectoids RIGHT FUCKING NEXT to them, ok? If you offer up three resistance to be slaughtered before I can even SEE the enemy, you have NO right to whine.
...! Stoke Mandeville, Esq & The Victorian Ballsmiths "Nobody Want Verdigris-Covered Balls!" |
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version 3.3 © 2001
Eyrie Productions,
Unlimited
Benjamin
D. Hutchins
E P U (Colour)
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