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Eyrie Productions, Unlimited
CdrMike
Member since Feb-20-05
1177 posts |
Jun-18-24, 01:34 PM (EDT) |
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3. "RE: The Britishest Man Ever to Brit"
In response to message #0
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Nah, I got one better: John "Fighting Jack" Churchill, more famously (or infamously) known as "Mad Jack" Churchill. Instead of an umbrella, the man marched off to war with a longbow, a honkin' big Scottish broadsword, and a set of bagpipes. He was in the shit from practically Day One, reactivating his prewar commission and volunteering for the British Expeditionary Force where he served all the way to Dunkirk. After returning to the UK, he requested reassignment to a commando unit, where he was recorded responding to a question by a general about carrying a sword into combat with "Any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed." From there, he served in Norway, Italy (where he earned a Distinguished Service Order for assaulting and catching a German observation post), before finally being captured in Yugoslavia supporting Tito's Partisans when a mortar shell killed everybody not named "Jack Churchill" in the dugout they'd taken cover in. Jack himself was finally rendered unconscious by a grenade assault, hauled off to Berlin for questioning because they thought he might be related to Winston Churchill (he wasn't), and then put him in a prison for high-value POWs. He was there until April '45, when as part of the general confusion and fuckery that was the German Army at the end of the war, he and his fellow prisoners were released. He proceeded to walk 93 miles (probably his titanium balls clanking the entire way) until he ran into an American armoured unit. After he was returned to the UK and given time for some rest, he demanded to be returned to fighting status and was shipped off to Burma. He arrived just after Japan had been nuked twice and the war ended, to which he sourly commented "If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years!" Jack would continue to serve until '59, which included a stint in British Palestine during which he was involved in the unsuccessful attempt to protect Jewish evacuees in what became known as the Hadassah medical convoy massacre and then led the successful evacuation of 700 Jewish doctors, students, and patients from the Hadassah hospital on the Hebrew University campus the convoy had originally been sent to evacuate. After he retired from the Army, Churchill continued to be known for lunacy, shocking train passengers by tossing his briefcase out the window (and into his yard) every day so he didn't have to carry it back home, then spent retirement sailing coal-powered boats on the Thames and building RC warships before dying in 1996. -------------------------- CdrMike, Overwatch Reject "You know, the world could always use more heroes." - Tracer, Overwatch |
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