Well, if poor Jessica was actually given some proper damn training, she'd be alright. And probably bond with Employee 2814 over the Corps bosses not really thinking things through (Guardians, Hal, same thing here), and accidentally making a snarky ring. Plus, the fear she actually overcame to earn the ring is pretty damn nifty.

Simon is still trapped in his 'look at how relevant we are while not understanding the politics we're referencing' origin story.

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter