20. "RE: Things Haywire is Not Allowed to Do"
In response to message #0
*If the thing you are about to say in the middle of the mission briefing involves any of the following words and phrases (or variations thereof):- **ferret **baked beans **Mister Fitzwilliam Fontainebleu, Paramour To The Stars **ladders **glockenspiel **"plasma-based multi-focal shaped charge network" **"Pot-pourri is nothing but a bowl of scented pencil shavings!" **"I know this is going to sound crazy..." **"Why are some of you all glowy?" **"Ongle bongle pongle wongle" ((SEE ADDITIONAL FILES 2X4B THROUGH 2X4F FOR FULL LEGISLATION REGARDING THE ONGLE BONGLE PONGLE SONG)) **"God, this is a really warm room, LAYDEEZ." **"I shwear on my mother'sh life I've not been in zhe bar..." **"The thing with the ((INSERT ANY COMBINATION OF FOOD ITEM, DOMESTICATED ANIMAL, AND SUPERIOR OFFICER HERE)) was blown completely out of proportion." **plib. *Then for the love of whatever God it is you believe in that allows you to do all the things that you do, don't. Say. A word. *Especially not the word plib. *You know how it upsets people.
--- "Yeah, I'm definitely going to hell/But I'll have all the best stories to tell" -- Frank Turner, The Ballad of Me and My Friends
Do not ask about the Ongle Bongle Pongle Song. It will only bring you pain.