Alternately:

--
Suppose I accidentally got my shit together
Would I get a medal
Or a pat on the back and a little feather
I could stick in my cap or pin to my shirt?
Go out in the yard and poke it in the dirt
Or leave it in the woods where it couldn't be found
If it fell over, would it make a sound?
And if it did, would it be the sound that you like?
Or should I do it over until I get it right?
You say everything I know is wrong
So do me a favor and play along for a minute
As the rusty gears turn
Don't be alarmed if you smell something burning upstairs
It's a little BB rolling around in a boxcar
See us together
Maybe it wouldn't be hard to explain
If I only had a brain

Somewhere on a higher mental plane
I might learn to come in from the rain
If I had a clue
Would I still be here with you?
Gee whiz, if I only had a brain

Who's that? Oh, my little friend Cupid
Wearing a shirt that says "I'm With Stupid"
Always nearby wherever I go
He's lookin' out for me, don't you know
Mr. Excitement, never in a rut
Johnny-on-the-Spot with an arrow in the butt
Ouch! Guess your love is true
Now if I could only get a clue

Somewhere on a higher mental plane
I might learn to come in from the rain
If I had a clue
Would I still be here with you?
Gee whiz, if I only had a brain

- MC 900 Ft. Jesus
"If I Only Had a Brain"
One Step Ahead of the Spider (1994)