SHOUKAKU
I was here for a second this morning...

AKAGI
You didn't straighten up the place, did you?

SHOUKAKU
No.

AKAGI
Good. Because all my filth is in alphabetical order. (Holds up an experimental flight deck catapult.) This, for example, was under H for "toy".

SHOUKAKU
What is that?

AKAGI
This? It's a breast enlarger. You want to try it?

SHOUKAKU
No!

AKAGI
I'm kidding. It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility. (She gets out a crossbow bolt-lookin' thing and starts loading the catapult.)

SHOUKAKU
I, uh... dropped off my luggage and now all my bags are empty.

AKAGI
(ignoring her)
You see, Shoukaku, I used to be you.

She fires the catapult; the bolt transmutes into a tiny Aichi D3A Type 99 Carrier Bomber (Allied reporting name: "Val"), which starts flying around the room.

AKAGI
And, uh, lately I've been missing me, so I asked Admiral if I could room with me again, and he said sure, so... I put all your stuff away in the bottom drawer there, gi, hakama, muneate, I had a little trouble with the propeller boots, so I threw them out. Duck!

SHOUKAKU ducks; the VAL flies through where her head just was.

AKAGI
Nice reflexes! I'm fleet carrier Akagi.

SHOUKAKU
(horrified)
Oh no.

AKAGI
Oh yes! Duck again!

The VAL swoops through SHOUKAKU's space again, then crashes through the window and disappears outside. AKAGI runs to the window and looks outside.

AKAGI
Oh my God!

She turns to SHOUKAKU.

It's heading for the gas tanks. Duck!

Both carriers hit the deck.

AKAGI
(conversationally)
Would you classify that as a launch problem or a design problem?

--G.
YŪDACHI
(with a note of wonder in her voice)
There is a complete hole-poi.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.