Now, I don't know about you guys, but I find there's very little that goes with beer and wine better than a good propane sandwich.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

GAS      FOOD
DIESEL SNACKS

I personally thought it sounded like something from a 70s action film, starring Pam Grier and Bruce Lee. With appropriate funky bass guitar in the score.

Ebony the Black Dragon

"Life is like an anole. Sometimes it's green. Sometimes it's brown. But it's always a small Caribbean lizard."

A few miles away from our home, out on Route 1, there is one of those self-storage places. It's been there since the middle eighties, when it was one of the first such establishments in the area, if not the first. Because it was one of the local pioneers of the business, it had a big sign made up of two-foot-tall white plastic letters glued to a side wall facing the highway intended to explain what it was all about, and reading simply "PUBLIC SELF STORAGE".

Well, a few years after it opened, some of those letters fell off the wall and were never replaced. And for several years after that, the building proudly proclaimed that it was the site for "PUBIC ELF RAGE".

We'd drive by it and every time say something along the lines of "he's still raging!"

Oddly, no other letters ever fell off for rest of that sign's life (it was taken down and replaced outright when the place changed hands and brands). So I've always wondered if it hadn't been an intentional prank by someone...

-- Bob
-------------------
My race is pacifist and does not believe in war. We kill only out of personal spite.

I wonder if it's still there?

Michael C. Fortner
"Maxim 37: There is no such thing as "overkill".
There is only "open fire" and "I need to reload".

International Hose of Pancakes

Floop, floop, floop.

The first is from a national bank, nowadays known as Swedbank, but once upon a time called "Föreningssparbanken". Essentiall, the "United Savings Bank" or similar, about 300-some rural banks all getting together under one umbrella. Anyway, some smart person realised that you could modify the above into "Oren I Baken". Which translates into, more or less, "Unwashed Ass". There is a lovely name for you.

The second is from a company that, now, is called "Coop". Which also show what it is. Before they became all international-type-named and hip, with it and cool, they were known as "Konsum", short for "Konsument", which of course means consumer. Essentially, a co-op. And they ran a ad campaign that said, "Kom med i det glada Konsumgänget". Join the happy co-op crew. Peppy, happy, yay. Until someone added the 'umlaut' over the on. "Kom med i det glada Könsumgänget." "Kön" means gender, as well as sexual organ. Join the happy 'sex-havers'....

And then, while it isn't a sign as SUCH, another infamous one in Sweden. There's a real estate management company, primarily in hospitals, in Stockholm, called 'locum', specifically with the lower-case 'L'. A number of years ago, they decided to run an ad campaign showing what wonderful people they were, after all, hospitals are good things. So, they wanted to do a love and happiness thing. And for some reason, known only to the gods, no-one at the company, OR the advertising agency, reacted when they replaced the 'o' with a heart. Cute and sweet.

Yep, that's right: I heart cum.

...!
Stoke Mandeville, Esq & The Victorian Ballsmiths
"Nobody Want Verdigris-Covered Balls!"

My personal favorite of these was in the break room of the HVAC company Zoner's parents used to run. He and I spent a weekend wiring the place for Ethernet one time, back before wifi was a Thing, and at one point I noticed a hand-lettered sign taped to the wall by the fridge reading:

"EXPERIENCED" INSTALLERS WANTED

"COMPETITIVE" PAY AND "GREAT" BENEFITS

Mr. and Mrs. Zone ran a quality establishment, but I have to say, I have encountered furnace companies around these parts that I think meant those sarcasm quotes in exactly the way they look. :)

--G.
also that fucking plumber from winter before last, holy hell
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

CLEAN YOUR
DR APES.

Now, I don't know how many people have an ape, let alone one with a doctorate, but I'm pretty sure that there aren't many apes that require dry cleaning. The intersection of these things would seem to be rather small.

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.

Kum and Go

and no, I didn't misspell that, that is in fact what it's called.

Misspelling, or following kashrut? You decide.

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.