Way back in the depths of prehistory, my dad got a book that fondly imagined itself to be a sort of "modern" SF adventure. It was about a Roman-era gladiator who'd been found frozen in ice (yes, that "sort of SF"...) and discovered in modern times. When he was resuscitated, he found himself being asked questions in the most perfect Latin by all sorts of language experts. He opened his mouth...

...and spoke Vulgar Latin in a thick-as-molasses Italian accent. The narrator almost fell over laughing.

Fortunately, I remember nothing else about the entire story — not even the title or author — yes, it really was that bad.

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