They call me Doctor Worm
Good morning, how are you? I'm Doctor Worm
I'm interested in things
I'm not a real doctor but I am a real worm
I am an actual worm
I live like a worm
I like to play the drums
I think I'm getting good but I can handle criticism
I'll show you what I know and you can
Tell me if you think I'm getting better on the drums
I'll leave the front unlocked 'cause I can't hear the doorbell

When I get into it I can't tell if you are watching me twirling the stick
When I give the signal my friend Rabbi Vole will play the solo

Someday somebody else besides me will
Call me by my stage name
They will call me Doctor Worm
Good morning, how are you? I'm Doctor Worm
I'm interested in things
I'm not a real doctor but I am a real worm
I am an actual worm
I live like a worm and
I like to play the drums
I think I'm getting good but I can handle criticism
I'll show you what I know and you can
Tell me if you think I'm getting better on the drums
I'm not a real doctor but they call me Doctor Worm

- They Might Be Giants
"Dr. Worm"
Severe Tire Damage (1998)