I took the Ridgeline to Bangor today to have a recall repair done to the rear view camera wiring, of all things. On the way home, I hit a foreign object that was uncannily disguised as a road marking and instantly destroyed both wheels on the driver's side of the vehicle. Both rims are, as I believe the technical terms goes, bent all to fuck.Given that I hit whatever it was at 75 miles an hour in the passing lane and both tires on the driver's side went instantly flat, I'm mildly impressed that I managed to get back across the highway and to a stop in the breakdown lane, as opposed to spearing off across the median or slewing into some other vehicle, but even so, I'm not feeling great about myself right now. I mean, shit.
In my defense, whatever I hit was yellow, rectangular, and lying at a right angle to and touching the equally yellow stripe at the lefthand side of the road. from the brief look at it I got before I ran over it, my brain didn't have the slightest suspicion that it was anything other than some kind of transverse hash mark on the road--which the DOT does put on there occasionally, as some kind of metering mark or something, not sure what the purpose is. The fact that it was a three-dimensional object solid and heavy enough to wreck alloy rims on impact was such a surprise that it took me a good few seconds to parse what the fuck had even happened, once I finished wrestling the truck to the opposite shoulder and got it stopped.
At first, thanks to misreading the message that the TPMS computer threw, I thought all four tires were flat, which was even more confusing. While I was waiting for AAA, I called the state police, not because I particularly needed police assistance, but because I thought they might want to have a look for whatever the hell I hit. When they arrived, they said they hadn't seen anything, so hopefully I punted it into the median. Certainly none of the other traffic streaking past while I was stuck there waiting seemed to have encountered anything that inconvenienced them.
Also in the "what the hell was your brain even doing?" department: two state troopers and I replaced the front wheel with the spare, walking past the rear wheel on that side repeatedly in the process, and not once did any of the three of us register that that tire was also flat. I didn't notice until I had limped a couple of miles to a gas station at the next exit, where I planned to air up the spare. And yes, that does mean I had to call AAA and uncancel my tow request, which I had canceled after the state troopers and I changed the first wheel. At least that gas station was a safer place to wait for the tow truck than the side of the Interstate...
Fuck. Those wheels are really fucking expensive. I think I see steelies in the Ridgeline's future...
--G.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
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