--- MARCONIGRAM (r) SHIP-TO-SHORE FACSIMILE TRANSMISSION --- RMS OLYMPIC North Atlantic Westward Traderoute Saturday, April 15, 2000 Ladies and gentlemen, No doubt many of you saw last night's presentation of the 1999 Chicken Ball Awards, during which DJ Croft of the Eyrie production "Neon Exodus Evangelion" was awarded the rather dubious distinction of "Worst New Character". You may have been watching as an individual billed as, and claiming to be, DJ Croft accepted this award with a display of remarkable idiocy, then met an untimely and rather gruesome fate for the amusement of the viewing masses. I write tonight to expose a terrible imposture: that character, so obviously performing to a poorly-contrived script intended to open him to the maximum amount of mockery and ridicule from the presenters and the audience of this so-called awards programme, was not DJ Croft. At this very moment and for the past four weeks, the very talented Mr. Dennis MacCrofton, better known to fanfic readers the world over as DJ Croft, has been on location in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, shooting several scenes for the upcoming "Neon Exodus Evangelion" motion picture. The shocking truth is that the buffoon who was made to look so foolish in Mr. MacCrofton's name was the notoriously low-brow Canadian alleged-comedian Tom Green, perhaps best known for his humourless harangues in advertisements for 'Pepsi One'. Several weeks ago, when Mr. MacCrofton was informed that he had been selected to receive this doubtful award, he in fact -declined- the "honour" in an effort not to appear publicity-hungry. He, like all of us, was far too busy with the wrap-up for the "Neon Exodus Evangelion" regular series and pre-production planning meetings for the motion picture project to engage in such foolery, and like all of us, he felt suspicious of the presenters' earnest claims that the award category was "tongue in cheek" and the presentation would be handled "tastefully". It should now be apparent to all concerned that these claims were as false as Mr. MacCrofton and the rest of us suspected them to be from the start; the cruelty and wanton, deliberate hurtfulness of Green's "portrayal" of Mr. MacCrofton speak for themselves, as does the obvious Schadenfreude of the presenters. All of us at Eyrie Productions are deeply hurt and shocked by this vicious and unwarranted attack on one of our own, especially after an attempt was made to decline participation - an attempt which, if the presenters of these "awards" were acting in the good faith they claimed in their notification, should have been honoured. Instead, we are treated to this blatant and bloodthirsty smear campaign. Understand, we do not seek recrimination. All of us, from the Editor in Chief on down, would just as soon put the entire sorry incident behind us; but I for one could not let the matter drop without making this one attempt to set the record straight. Thank you. Yours sincerely, (signed) SIR ALISTAIR WARDEN-KING (a/k/a PEN-PEN) AWK/ram 04152K --- MARCONIGRAM (r) SHIP-TO-SHORE FACSIMILE TRANSMISSION ---