Many image-rescuing methods were suggested by the various consultants GENOM's postwar management brought in to help with the problem, and many of those were tried, with varying degrees of success. Some, such as the media blitz under the heading The New GENOM: We Won't Hurt You on Zardon, failed immediately and were quietly withdrawn. Others, like the Outer Rim's GENOM Corporation: New Packaging, Same Product campaign, stumbled mindlessly onward for some time before corporate management noticed they weren't working and pulled them. Others - those crafted with the most care for the largest, most lucrative markets, like Zeta Cygni's GENOM: Integrity, Quality, Social Responsibility - succeeded and became part of the cultural background hum.

The single most successful part of GENOM's postwar reinvention of its image, though, was conducted not by the corporate center itself, but by the company's Military Arm, which, to the surprise and dismay of many, was allowed to continue to exist, albeit in a downscaled and procedurally restricted form, after the war. In an attempt to dispel the fearsome, rapacious image of its elite infantry branch, the White Legion, MILARM commissioned a well-known cartoonist to develop a scheme for converting the fearsome face of the White Legionnaire, better known to the galaxy at large as the GENOM stormtrooper, into an image that the good people of the galaxy would come to like and trust.

The result was the character of Chet the Safety Trooper - a White Legionnaire whose armor has been embellished with International Safety Orange stripes on his arms and helmet and a non-standard nametag (rather than a last name, it reads "CHET" and is in a somewhat larger, friendlier font than is standard). Chet appears in public service announcements, gives talks to elementary school classes, and puts in appearances at fairs, carnivals, Little League playoff games, and other kid-friendly occasions, spreading his messages of goodwill and safety-consciousness.

There is, of course, no single Chet; he's a character played by volunteer White Legionnaires. At any given time, there are between twenty and forty Chets active around the Inner Galaxy. Prospective Chets are screened for their general size, their liking for children and crowds, and their ability to relate to and link with a group of onlookers despite wearing the face-hiding, voice-masking helmet of a GENOM stormtrooper at all times. It takes a special kind of soldier to be a bit of a clown, a bit of a mentor, and a blaster-armored Officer Friendly all in one, exhorting the children of the galaxy to eat right, look both ways, tell an adult if they find an unattended weapon, say no to drugs and hyperstim software, and speak out about abuse, neglect and wrongdoing.

None of the galaxy's Chets are actors; they're all real White Legionnaires, and the equipment belts and weapons they carry are real and ready for duty should an emergency strike. Over the years, Chets who have been in the right place at the right time have saved children, teachers, parents and random bystanders from fires, train and aerocraft crashes, even one terrorist attack. Two of them have been killed in the line of duty, though of course that fact has been carefully hidden from the children who love Chet.

As of this printing, Chet the Safety Trooper is still going strong, entertaining and educating children (and adults!) all over the galaxy, and making sure that when people think of GENOM's White Legion, they think of dependability, strength and protection - not terror and victimization. It's the most successful image manipulation campaign in history. Some say that's because of all the money poured into it; others claim that Chet's message is successful because it's genuine and heartfelt. Whatever the reason, there can be no denying his success. According to a recent study, Chet is third in popularity for a galactically promoted public character after Brave Little Zolie and the Thunder Force: The Animated Series version of Noriko Takaya.

Well.

I was at a toy store the other day, and I noticed (how could I, owning eyes, miss it?) that the Star Wars Episode II toys had started coming out. I went and poked through the rack, looking to see what horrors the good folks at Has-been had come up with for us this time. One of the figures I noticed was the eponymous Clone Trooper, a sort of proto-stormtrooper-with-helmet-by-Mercedes-Benz... I'm sure you've noticed them in the marketing blitz. OK, so far, so good... but then I noticed there were two different kinds of them on the shelves. One was the regular white kind. And the other...

This picture doesn't really do it justice. Those stripes are BLAZE ORANGE on the actual toy.

Well, I was a little punchy, and at the sight of that I just lost it. I just started laughing uncontrollably. I gestured to Truss, who had wandered off to look at something else, pointed, and said, "Check it out! It's Chet the Safety Trooper! <chk> Hi kids! Don't forget to look both ways when you cross the street! <chk>" (It's just not a stormtrooper impression if you don't do the static.)

Later that night I ran the gag by the gang in the EPU Creative Lounge, and Redneck informed me that, obviously, Chet (modified to be a classic stormtrooper with those markings rather than a cloneboy) was a GENOM public relations ploy.

And so he is.

And now you know... the rest of the story.

Good day.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor in Chief, Netadmin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/

This strikes me as it would be somewhat more successful in getting kids to look both ways, etc. etc. than an actual PR cop would be in the same role, as this is a private organization giving sound advice instead of the local constabulary trying to keep the masses in line, so to speak.

I did laugh my ass off at the image of a storm trooper with bright orange stripes on his armour telling kids to look both ways, though ;)

-Z

Rabid Crack Turtle 3.14159
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