Anyway.

Ingredients
- 2 packets storebought yeast, Fleischmann's or equivalent.
- 3/4ths cup granulated sugar
- A tablespoon or so of salt
- A splash of vegetable oil
- All-purpose flour (quantity varies but probably in the 6-7 cups range)
- 2 eggs
- 2 and a half cups of water
- 1 cup vegetable shortening, Crisco or equivalent

Cinnamon Roll Variant adds
- A few ounces of cinnamon
- Cup or so of brown sugar
- 1/2 cup powdered sugar
- 2 tablespoons butter
- 2 tablespoons milk or cream
- 1/4 teaspoon vanilla

You'll also need the paraphernalia of water boiling, at least one baking sheet or better yet muffin tin, a sturdy kitchen spoon, a big ol' bowl and some means of sealing or covering it. A sifter is useful but not strictly required.

Half a cup of faucet-warm water gets the yeast stirred into it to bloom.

While that's happening, start the other two cups to boiling and measure out the shortening into your Big Bowl; once you have your boiling water, pour it over the shortening to dissolve it into solution and add the sugar and salt, stirring in the latter and chopping up the shortening until no chunks remain.

In my experience by the time that's done, the water will be cool enough to add the eggs and yeast without cooking/killing them; somebody who lives in Florida, Louisiana, or one of the other circles of hell - or who likes to keep their kitchen steaming hot at all times of the year - might need to reserve some of the 2 cups of hot water to cool the mixture. Judge your own circumstances here. Mix the lot until smooth.

Then you sift flour in until you have a 'medium stiff dough', as the heirloom recipe sheet puts it. In my experience this is about two cups after I start worrying that I've put too much flour in because it's no longer vanishing immediately.

Cover the dough ball and the inside of the bowl with just enough oil to make both slippery, then cover the bowl with saran wrap or something else moisture-tight and stick it in the fridge at least overnight.

The next day, you have three options.

If you've got a cookie sheet, you can roll the dough out on a floured surface and use a cookie cutter or the top of a cup to press out little rounds. Fold those in half, pinching closed, and arrange them on the sheet, then brush them with melted butter.

If you've got a muffin tin, grease that sucker's cups with cooking spray or more Crisco. Then you pull of chunks of dough to roll into little balls the size of a standard d20 or a little bigger and plunk three in each muffin pot.

If you've got a glass baking dish and cinnamon and brown sugar, then you roll the dough out onto a floured surface again... and this time dust it with cinnamon and brown sugar, almost but not quite as densely as you would the cheese topping for a pizza. Chopped nuts and raisins are optional but I like them. Roll that up into a log, then take slices about an inch thick. Grease your baking dish and fit the rounds in, flat-side up and sides touching. The full recipe should fill two of the standard square 9x9" dishes; I have not experimented with ceramic or metal ones so you're on your own there.

All three of these approaches should be let to rise someplace warm for about an hour; the stovetop over your preheating oven is ideal.

The folded or cloverleaf rolls will go in a 375F oven for 10-12 minutes. Use a timer; when they start to go over they will char fast.

The cinnamon rolls will go at 350F for 15-20 minutes.

Once they're out, the proper rolls can go straight from oven to table and in fact are best that way; the cinnamon rolls will need to cool a bit and get a glaze that's just 2 Tbs of melted butter mixed with the sugar, cream, and vanilla and slathered over the rolls halfway through the cooling process.

Enjoy!

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