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Gryphonadmin
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Mar-09-07, 03:50 AM (EDT)
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"Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
 
   LAST EDITED ON Mar-10-07 AT 01:58 AM (EST)
 
Friday, September 14, 2288
Rudrig, Tion Hegemony

Gryphon didn't know how far word of whatever the hell he'd supposedly done on Musashi had spread - he'd maintained total radio silence since leaving the SDF-17 - but he figured that even if the news had reached this godsforsaken corner of the galaxy, the local authorities would be too inept and indolent to do anything about it. The Tion Hegemony had to be the galaxy's most pathetic interstellar polity. He had often wondered why it hadn't been conquered by its neighbors. Neither the Gamilons nor the Hutts, who were the de facto overlords of most of the Outer Rim Territories, would have had much trouble toppling or co-opting the weak Tion government. He supposed it was because there was nothing in the Hegemony either group wanted.

Either way, it seemed unlikely that anyone was going to give him trouble on remote, tranquil Rudrig. It wasn't even a planet that had much in the way of what passed for a military presence in the Tion Hegemony, being given over almost entirely to various functions having to do with the region's only postsecondary school, the University of Rudrig. Even so, he hadn't just flown into the only controlled spaceport on the planet and cheerfully announced his identity. Not with a thousand acres of nowhere conveniently located near one of the small farming communities that fed the university.

Moving with the mechanistic motions of a man whose brain is on autopilot, Gryphon climbed down from his Valkyrie, which was parked in GERWALK mode among some boulders in the lee of some hills outside of town, wrestled the Cyclone down from its storage compartment, and deployed the fighter's adaptive camouflage net. Then he opened the Cyclone up into motorcycle mode, flipped open the emergency cache on the back, and rummaged inside until he found the rain poncho. It wasn't a perfect disguise by any means, but it would at least keep people from seeing the name painted on his CVR-3's plastron.

He hadn't slept since leaving the SDF-17, and he had no real reason to stop here, other than the feeling that he simply couldn't go on. Already tired from the mission on Musashi and the baffling, horrifying whirlwind of hell that had followed it, he'd hit the wall hard after 72 hours of non-stop flight. If Zoner was really on his tail, if Kei was really on his tail, then he'd just have to deal with it.

Kei...

The thought of her, just then, just there, was enough to make him stumble as he tried to mount the Cyclone and fall, armored man and armored bike hitting the dusty ground in a clattering heap. Gryphon just lay there, one leg under the bike, curled up with his hands on his head, as everything he'd been walling off from his mind with a kind of hideous soul-blank fugitive fugue came crashing in on him at once. Had the world gone mad, or had he? Did he really remember Kei hurling hatred at him, trying to kill him? Zoner turning into an ice sculpture, giving him that horrible flat-eyed stare and ordering his arrest?

I changed the code. Your stuff is in room 498. I hope you fry you fucker. - Kei

Even now, some tiny part of his brain remarked with a tsk that she really should've put a comma in the last sentence. He hated that part of himself right now, but it wouldn't stop. Every time he pictured the line, his mind's eye stuck the comma in. Somehow it made the whole thing that much more terrible.

I hope you fry, you fucker.

Gryphon didn't know how long he lay there, curled up in the dust. Eventually, though, the emotional seizure seemed to pass. His body unbent, lying slack, and then he began to marshal his strength.

Get ahold of yourself, Ben, he told himself sternly. Crawling out from under the Cyclone, he righted it and climbed on, successfully this time. It's obvious what happened. Either everybody went crazy, you went crazy... or the fix is in. All you need to do is get some sleep, get your wits back about you, and you'll be able to figure out what happened. Hell, if Zoner or Kei do catch up with you, they'll have had time to calm down and get a grip as well, and they'll help you solve this.

He kept mulling it over as he rode out of the hills and picked up the paved road leading to the town. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that the situation could be salvaged. He wasn't sure what the hell was happening, but if he just got a little breathing room and some rest, he became certain that he could figure it out.

You've been in worse spots, he told himself. Remember Acheron? You should've died there, but you didn't. Get your shit together, go back to Musashi, investigate. There's got to be evidence left in that school, whatever the hell happened. Find it, and then they'll have to listen to you.

Thus resolved, Gryphon felt better as he rolled into the little farming town - there had been no sign on the road, so he had no idea of its name. He was still caught up in his ruminations and didn't notice the vibe in the town at first, but as he made his way toward the center, it began to sink in. People here seemed... nervous. Almost stunned, as if some important figure had recently died, or they'd just had news that this year's would be a bad harvest and hard times were ahead. They didn't look directly at him or each other.

He entered the town's central square and had a look around, then rode across the square toward the Holiday Inn. Not his favorite hotels in the galaxy, but it would do. He'd only be there long enough to get a shower and some rest before heading back to Musashi anyway. The Cyclone drew a few curious looks - apparently the locals didn't see motorcycles armed with obvious missile weapons very often - but no one seemed inclined to even look at his face.

He entered the lobby, automatically looking around as he did so. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, except for that weird, subdued, shell-shocked vibe. Gryphon hoped belatedly that he hadn't blundered into some kind of planetary coup in progress or something. All he needed was to have an encounter with members of some tinpot Revolutionary Guard right now. On the left side of the lobby was a coffee shop; straight ahead was the reception desk; on the right was a newsterm, its main display cycling through the front pages of the various newspages it carried. For whatever reason, the one being displayed when Gryphon looked at the terminal was in Italian.

IL WDF DISTRUTTO!!

Whaaaaaaat?



An hour later, he sat on the bed in the hotel's front corner room, printouts from the galaxy's newsfeeds scattered all around him, the Network 23 News playing on the holographic TV. He wasn't taking any of it in. His brain had locked up and stopped receiving new inputs after the fourth rewritten version of the same news story.

The SDF-17 attacked. In orbit over Musashi. Hours after he'd left. Minutes after Zoner had resigned from the WDF to follow him. Or possibly Yuri or Kei. He couldn't even fathom who was chasing whom. All that mattered was that the Wayward Son had been attacked. Destroyed. Not down with all hands, thank the gods, but many.

What followed was nearly as shocking. With both ships - the SDF-17 and a GENOM Star Destroyer so big Gryphon had at first taken its size for a misprint - destroyed and one of Musashi's three cities to boot, the United Galactica Assembly had wasted no time in pinning responsibility for the disaster on the Wedge Defense Force, nullifying the Pact Galactica, and declaring all the surviving Wedge Defenders outlaws. Gryphon sensed the hand of Largo in this. In all of it, but especially in the sudden political reversal that ensued as soon as the WDF was no longer able to defend itself.

Preliminary reports indicated that dozens of survivors of the event the press had already dubbed Sonfall had already been murdered - "killed while resisting arrest", the more state-aligned news sources put it - by bounty hunters and GENOM-backed death squads. They had scattered, heading for what had been friendly ports, running for what they thought was safe territory in order to catch their breath and regroup, and had run straight into the crosshairs. Some had been cut down by members of various local police and military forces they had thought were their friends, dying, no doubt, with looks of surprise mixed with a final, terrible understanding.

Numb and cold, feeling like the room was tilting, Gryphon wondered how many of his friends - if they had even been his friends at the end - were dead. There were few names mentioned in the papers. No mention of any of the members of his squadron, or of the Shadow Squad; no mention of Marty Rose or ReRob, Chris Meadows or Adam Johnson. One article said Zeta Cygni stood abandoned, the cities burned by GENOM, but there was some debate on other feedsites as to whether that were true.

The few names mentioned were bad enough. Jolly Roger Squadron had been wiped out covering Prometheus's escape from what Captain Hayes had thought was the safe port of Deralia. The WDF Deep Space Patrol ships Delphinus and Enterprise had vanished altogether; GENOM was claiming that Delphinus had been destroyed near Jyurai by a Star Destroyer battle group. So that was Rick and Roy, Rob and Aeka, who knew how many others, all dead, and the rest hunted.

And, buried deep at the bottom of one of the articles, Gryphon had found a trackback to an earlier article, one which was linked because it described what reporters now thought of as the true beginning of the story - the incident that had splintered the WDF's command staff and left the SDF-17 vulnerable to such a devastating sneak attack.

The WDF's executive officer, Commander Benjamin Hutchins (also known by his fighter pilot callsign, Gryphon), escaped from the SDF-17's brig - possibly with the aid of co-conspirators - and fled the ship several hours before the GENOM starship Executioner located and engaged the Wayward Son. Hutchins was being held on charges of mass murder after allegedly slaughtering a classroom full of primary-school students during a hostage rescue operation on the Musashi surface. There can be little doubt that the murders, which were caught on the school's security cameras and witnessed by Worlds Welfare Work Association Trouble Consultant Kei Morgan, were deliberate and sadistic, not the result of some accident during the rescue operation.

So that was why Kei freaked out, anyway. She thought she'd seen him murdering children. Truth was, he never made it to that classroom; Kei cut him off coming the other way and damn near blew him away. Which made the security footage... what, exactly?

Snarling, Gryphon crumpled the printout and hurled it across the room. What the fuck did it matter now?

The Wedge Defense Force was dead. Its flagship destroyed, a radioactive hulk scarring the surface of a planet he wished he had never heard of. Its survivors scattered to the far winds and hunted. They were all fugitives now, everyone who had worn the diamond and protected the galaxy with all the pride it implied. Largo had succeeded not only in destroying the WDF, but in destroying its legacy. The backfill sidebars in the papers were full of well-paid reporters and political figures being shocked, shocked at the WDF iniquities GENOM's "investigators" were "regretfully" "revealing". Many of the force's friends had turned against it, either because they feared GENOM or because they hadn't been such good friends after all, Gryphon couldn't tell which.

Only Salusia was really speaking up, and their voice didn't carry the weight in the UG Assembly that it once had. Their representatives found themselves marginalized, patronized, ignored. The only way they could redress the matter was to go to war with the whole damn galaxy, just about, and Gryphon knew Asrial was too smart to do that, no matter how much her heart might've wanted to. The survivors of the Wedge Defense Force were being thrown under the bus.

Gryphon drew his Gallant-H90 sidearm from its holster on his hip and regarded it for a few long moments.

I bet this thing can't even kill me, he thought with bitter amusement, but even as he did, he knew he wouldn't do it if it could. He had never approved of suicide. That was a coward's way out, Zoner's way out. He remembered how disgusted he used to get whenever Zoner would harp about how it was The Ultimate Choice and the one true freedom of all sentient beings. He'd usually kept quiet about it, concealing his disdain for the concept for friendship's sake. Right now, friendship seemed like such an alien concept that he gave it full rein.

No, fuck you, Zoner, he thought, putting the weapon away. I'm not going to make it that easy for you. Or for Kei. Where the fuck do the two of you get off, turning against me that fast? After all we've been through? All the times we've had to believe in each other to survive? You should have known better. Even if all your senses told you otherwise, you should have known better!

The sudden application of a boot to the door derailed that train of furious thought completely. Gryphon reacted automatically, before his conscious mind registered what was going on. He rolled sideways, away from the door, his right hand snatching his CVR helmet from the bedspread as he went. By the time he hit the floor, face down, he was already jamming the helmet on his head. Above him, he heard the sharp brrrup of a submachinegun, felt the bed vibrate against his shoulder as bullets ripped into the mattress.

He came up shooting, the beam of his Gallant catching the gunner high on the left side of the chest. The gunner, a human, yelled in pain and dismay, losing his balance. Another burst from his subgun tore into the ceiling, showering the room with chunks of plaster. Behind him, three more figures could be seen crowding toward the door. One of them shoved the reeling gunner out of the way and raised a metal tube to his shoulder. Cursing, Gryphon threw himself backward, shooting as he went. The return fire rattled the guy with the RPG; he fired low, hitting the floor, just as Gryphon's back hit the window. The explosion blew the armored Wedge Defender clear out of the hotel; he crashed to the ground outside, skidding, his CVR-3 throwing up sparks. Somehow he kept hold of his Gallant.

As he scrambled to his feet, the three unwounded attackers - apparently wary of advancing into a structurally damaged blast zone - didn't follow. Gryphon figured he knew where they were going. Holstering the Gallant, he ran around the corner of the hotel and toward the street. Sure enough, three figures - two men and a woman - burst out of the hotel's front door just as he arrived in the parking area. He threw himself down as the woman and one of the men raked a parked car with E-11 blaster carbines. They probably couldn't penetrate his armor - certainly not the hard parts - but why take chances? Besides, the third guy was struggling to reload his RPG.

"Take out the Cyclone! Cut him off!" the woman barked to the RPG man. Gryphon bit off another curse, raised himself to elbows and knees, then got up onto his feet, trying to keep as low as possible as he sprinted for the end of the row. The RPG man fumbled with his second round, finally got it fitted, raised the tube. Gryphon put everything he had into a long, diving leap for the Cyclone. He hit it, half-straddling it, and knocked it down. The rocket whistled over, barely missing Gryphon's outside elbow, and plowed into a parked car behind him. Shrapnel and car parts clattered painfully against his back and helmet.

"Idiot!" the woman barked, smacking the RPG man on the back of his head. Gryphon got a leg under himself and shoved the Cyclone upright, thumbing the starter. The turbine kicked over and caught immediately. He cranked on the power and used the gyroscopic effect to get the bike the rest of the way upright and himself in the saddle, then punched a second thumb key. The Cyclone reared, boosting into the air, and reconfigured to battroid mode in moments. Gryphon leveled his left forearm at the RPG man. A targeting scope popped out of its shoulder compartment and swung in front of his facebowl.

"You want to try that again now?" he asked.

The RPG man fumbled to reload for a second, stared at the two capped missile tubes aimed straight for him, then dropped his weapon and ran. The other two, deprived of the only firepower they had with any chance of taking out a Cyclone battroid, followed.

Gryphon let them go. There wasn't anything to be gained by killing them, and after everything he'd just read, he'd had enough of death for today. Dropping to his knees, he released the Cyclone from his CVR-3, then stood up and pulled it into cycle mode again. In the street around him, people were timidly emerging from the cover they'd taken when the RPG man blew up the car. All were staring. Some were pointing and reaching for telephones. In the distance, Gryphon could hear sirens.

Time to go, he thought, and left town at top speed. No one tried to follow him.

His movements even more weary and mechanistic than they had been when he arrived, he stowed the Cyclone, secured the Valkyrie's camouflage net, and climbed back into the cockpit. He robotically secured his seat straps, lowered the canopy, and started powering up the fighter.

I didn't even get a shower, he thought bleakly.

Part of his mind was already working on an action plan. His first order of business was to find someplace to re-paint his fighter - and his CVR-3 and his Cyclone, come to that. That way he might at least not be recognized instantly, either as himself or as a Wedge Defender in general. He'd also have to line up a source for parts and supplies. He had to shake off whatever pursuit he might have, find a place to lie low for a while, make these arrangements, consider his next move. He'd never anticipated becoming a galactic fugitive, so he'd prepared no boltholes in advance. He was entirely on his own, making it up as he went along.

As night fell over the hills, he looked up through the Valkyrie's canopy at the darkening sky, watching the stars start to wink through the sky.

What the fuck am I going to do now?

Then, in this advanced state of exhaustion and despair, a hoarse voice swam into his ragged mind.

The possibility of physical and mental collapse is very real now... but collapse is out of the question; as a solution or even a cheap alternative, it is unacceptable. Indeed. This is the moment of truth, that fine and fateful line between control and disaster.

Yes. Yes. There was one bastard in the universe who wouldn't have been touched by this madness, because he was insulated by a madness all his own. One place in the universe where Gryphon would be able to rest for a little while, take some lessons from a master of improvised reinvention, escape and evasion, high-speed defiant runs on the edge of total destruction. One chance for, if not salvation, at least acquiring the tools for survival until such time as salvation became feasible.

He opened the throttles for takeoff, switched to fighter mode, and left Rudrig behind. Next stop, Woody Creek.

Dr. Duke would know what to do.

"Where Were You When the Fun Stopped?" - an Exile Mini-Story by Benjamin D. Hutchins
Excerpt from
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas © 1971 by Hunter S. Thompson
Special to the Eyrie Productions Discussion Forum
© 2007 Eyrie Productions, Unlimited


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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story O_M Mar-09-07 1
     RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Gryphonadmin Mar-09-07 3
  RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Bad Moon Mar-09-07 2
  RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Tzukumori Mar-09-07 4
     RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Gryphonadmin Mar-09-07 5
         RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Tzukumori Mar-09-07 6
             RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Sofaspud Mar-09-07 7
                 RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Gryphonadmin Mar-09-07 8
                     RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story jadmire Mar-10-07 9
                         RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Gryphonadmin Mar-10-07 10
                             RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story jadmire Mar-10-07 11
                             RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Gryphonadmin Mar-10-07 15
                     RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Tzukumori Mar-10-07 12
                     RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story O_M Mar-10-07 13
                         RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Matrix Dragon Mar-10-07 14
                             RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story trigger Mar-12-07 17
                                 RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Zox Mar-12-07 18
                                 RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Gryphonadmin Mar-13-07 19
                             RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Croaker Sep-15-07 21
                                 RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story Peter Eng Sep-17-07 23
                     RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story MOGSY Mar-11-07 16
                     RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story BlackAeronaut Sep-11-07 20
                     RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story McFortner Sep-16-07 22

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O_M
Member since Jun-19-05
184 posts
Mar-09-07, 04:18 AM (EDT)
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1. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #0
 
   Y'know, even KNOWING how long in advance Largo planned this...

GEEZE. The sheer scale of this is incredible. I mean...I know that GENOM didn't come out smelling like roses, but how many payoffs/coercions/threats do you need to essentially sic a Star Destroyer that's closer to a superweapon than a naval vessel on the flagship of a force that's been defending the galaxy for...however long? It boggles the mind. And this happening not in days but HOURS of the smear campaign on Gryphon.


-OM

"Crypto-lesbians? Sounds like someone threw a zombie movie into a blender with a porno."


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Gryphonadmin
Charter Member
8127 posts
Mar-09-07, 09:49 AM (EDT)
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3. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #1
 
   LAST EDITED ON Mar-09-07 AT 09:50 AM (EST)
 
>The sheer scale of this is incredible. how many
>payoffs/coercions/threats do you need? It boggles the mind.

The true cost will never be precisely known, since the figures were buried in thousands of different divisions' overruns and otherwise folded carefully into GENOM's books, but the most comprehensive estimate prepared by a 25th-century historian (Peter David Mui, 2405) is that, once all the equipment, personnel, development, bribes, expended supplies, marketing, and miscellaneous expenses are accounted for, Operation Götterdämmerung cost GENOM Corporation (for which read Maximilien Largo) something in the neighborhood of cr250,000,000,000,000,000.

That's a quarter of a quintillion credits. More - quite a lot more - than the Royal Salusian Armed Forces' operating budget for fiscal year 2288. Even in 2405 unadjusted credits it's a staggering amount of money. There are indications that, however invincible GENOM's public image was at the time, the sheer cost of the operation nearly bankrupted the company. Only the utterly titanic profits reaped in the following years, once the WDF wasn't around to stand up to them any more and the rest of the galaxy was either cowed or outnumbered, saved it - though you would never have known it at the time.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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Bad Moon
Member since Dec-17-02
155 posts
Mar-09-07, 09:13 AM (EDT)
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2. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #0
 
   I'm really digging these mini-stories you're throwing our way. Nice little snap shots to periods in time where recent stories haven't focused. 400+ years is a lot to work with!

I really like how you get the sense that Sonset completely blindsided everyone, and so much fundementally weird shit went down in the period of a couple days that nobody really knows what's going on. Thumbs up!

------
Jon Helscher

I'm here to slow you down, cost you money, and generally retard the process.

-Mike Rowe: Dirty Jobs


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Tzukumori
Member since Jul-8-03
44 posts
Mar-09-07, 10:51 AM (EDT)
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4. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #0
 
   >He opened the throttles for takeoff, switched to fighter mode, and
>left Rudrig behind. Next stop, Woody Creek.
>
>Dr. Duke would know what to do.
>
>Excerpt from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas © 1971 by Hunter S.
>Thompson

Familiar... wait, wait.. Ah. http://www.eyrie-productions.com/Forum/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=35&forum=DCForumID19&viewmode=all

I've never read H.S. Thompson's work, and I only know of him because of the discussion in the above link a while back, which was the impetus for wikipedia and google searches.

Historically, I saw the Exile arc as the development section; akin to the sonata form of a musical composition, the development section is where the composer would branch off in a new direction while either building on the main themes introduced earlier, or start warping said themes into a different working altogether. I haven't reread Exile in a while, but if memory serves, this arc allowed the opportunity for the camera to move away from Gryph and the "Collective Wedge Community" to focus on how other individuals were handling separation anxiety of being very abruptly shunted into despair.

However, as much as I liked how the camera focused on the others, I always did wonder what happened to Gryph in detail within the over-arcing structure of: "fled the ship several hours before the GENOM starship Executioner located and engaged the Wayward Son. Hutchins was being held on charges of mass murder after allegedly slaughtering a classroom full of primary-school students during a hostage rescue operation on the Musashi surface," which was all I had heard about the character until he confronted his duplicate in one-on-one battle in that alley with Zoner watching on from above, IIRC.

Thanks for the read. Feeling all nostalgic now,
-T.Zukumori

=============================================

"What happened to this one here?"
"I did."
"Uh-huh... and how did you subdue him?"
"I know kung fu."
--cropped from Titans: Convergence by Benjamin D. Hutchins


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Gryphonadmin
Charter Member
8127 posts
Mar-09-07, 12:43 PM (EDT)
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5. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #4
 
   >I haven't reread Exile in
>a while, but if memory serves, this arc allowed the opportunity for
>the camera to move away from Gryph and the "Collective Wedge
>Community" to focus on how other individuals were handling separation
>anxiety of being very abruptly shunted into despair.

As much as I'd like to take credit for that level of foresight, planning, and structured thinking, I have to be honest: the Exile is basically just the product of a 19-year-old mind having a bad stretch of weeks and thinking, This UF thing is all right, man, but what it really needs is some angst. If I were doing UF3/UF4 today, I'm not saying something like this wouldn't have happened, but it certainly wouldn't have dragged on for a full hundred years.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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Tzukumori
Member since Jul-8-03
44 posts
Mar-09-07, 02:40 PM (EDT)
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6. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #5
 
   >As much as I'd like to take credit for that level of foresight,
>planning, and structured thinking, I have to be honest: the Exile is
>basically just the product of a 19-year-old mind having a bad stretch
>of weeks and thinking, This UF thing is all right, man, but what it
>really needs is some angst.

And they say nothing productive comes out of teen angst. :P

>If I were doing UF3/UF4 today,
>I'm not saying something like this wouldn't have happened, but it
>certainly wouldn't have dragged on for a full hundred years.

Well, I believe that it worked. By giving it all that temporal space, you had lots of meta-playroom for all sorts of creative developments that allowed the successful cross-over and inclusion of other favorite works series. It also set the scope of your larger sub-arcs (Twilight, Symphony) without seeming forced.

My two cents,
-T.Zukumori

=============================================

"What happened to this one here?"
"I did."
"Uh-huh... and how did you subdue him?"
"I know kung fu."
--cropped from Titans: Convergence by Benjamin D. Hutchins


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Sofaspud
Member since Apr-6-06
46 posts
Mar-09-07, 05:23 PM (EDT)
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7. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #6
 
   >
>Well, I believe that it worked. By giving it all that temporal space,
>you had lots of meta-playroom for all sorts of creative developments
>that allowed the successful cross-over and inclusion of other favorite
>works series. It also set the scope of your larger sub-arcs (Twilight,
>Symphony) without seeming forced.
>
>My two cents,
>-T.Zukumori

I have to agree. From my perspective, as well, you've got the whole Detian thing going on, too. One hundred years is, well, one hundred years, sure, but so what?

It makes some of the background 'events' seem more probable, too. A Dyson sphere has GOT to take some time to set up, even if you're stealing one intact. The city of New Avalon (and the psuedocontinent on which it resides), same deal. And all of this with the resources of a galaxy hunting you (for at least the first portion of that century), with few places to reside in safely, and a whole lot of work to do in secret, lest it be discovered by the enemies that set up the original fall in the first place?

No... what's surprising isn't that it took a hundred years (minus a few, I suppose) for Gryphon to revive the WDF and clear his name. What's surprising is that it happened so quickly.

--sofaspud
--


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Gryphonadmin
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Mar-09-07, 10:46 PM (EDT)
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8. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #7
 
   >It makes some of the background 'events' seem more probable, too.

Well, sort of.

See, as I've grown older and (I like to think) matured somewhat as a writer, what's really bothered me about the Exile isn't that it's a thinly veiled excuse to Make Everyone's Life Suck and Write Gritty, Low-Hope Stories of Violence and Death (though that's precisely what it was when it was created), nor that it goes on for rather longer than is really plausible (though I kind of think it does, but as you've noted, that's arguable and there are good points against).

No, what truly bothers me most about the Exile today is that the events that set it up don't hold up to any kind of critical examination. It's the UF equivalent of Revenge of the Sith - everybody suddenly forgets all the important character traits established in the foregoing material and does the Wrong Things for plainly contrived reasons, suddenly shooting wildly off characterization, with the textual equivalent of the writer's gun all but visibly to their heads, because they have to in order to make the pre-determined plot work.

Kei isn't that stupid. Zoner isn't that big an asshole. Gryphon isn't the type to just split before the courtroom scene. And even if all of those things were somehow true, there were hundreds of other people in the area to act as cadmium rods to the freakout reaction, even if it got started in the first place. Hell, the other Eight-Balls wouldn't have stood for any of that. You'd have had a couple of them standing guard to keep Kei from trying to short-circuit the military-justice process while the rest of them scoured that planet for all the information there was to find. When Executioner showed up, you'd have had everybody snapping to and realizing that there was an appropriate time to be faffing around with these matters, and being under attack by a gigantic Star Destroyer = not that time.

It's just all wrong, characters and situation being hurriedly mashed into a pre-made box they didn't even slightly fit into. To me, the setup for the Exile is the hardest thing in the Core to read now. Harder than UF1, when everything is obviously an over-the-top parody piece and people do some outrageously stupid shit (like Kei just murdering people for laughs, Billy the Kid-style, and nobody around her thinking anything of it). Because UF1 never made any pretense of being anything but a joke, whereas UF3, and especially the setup for the Exile, was clearly trying to be something else.

I'm not saying an enemy as ruthless, devious, and well-heeled as Largo couldn't have caused something like Sonfall and its attendant disasters to happen? But it would have taken a hell of a lot more work, and required a much longer timescale, to pull off. After nearly 300 years in the field, the WDF command staff wasn't a chunk of glass that would just splinter into shards if you whacked it once in the right place. UF3 handles the whole situation as if it was just that, and as a result, it just doesn't work for me now.

Oh, on a related note, you may notice that "Where Were You When the Fun Stopped?" directly contradicts one of the most awkward legacy pieces of the Exile setup, set up in UF3 and carried illogically through a number of Exile pieces - namely, the preposterous notion that Gryphon didn't know what he supposedly had done to cause the whole mess until nearly 70 years later. What, they don't have fucking newspapers in fugitive-land? Ridiculous. Absurd. Redacted. Didn't happen that way.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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jadmire
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Mar-10-07, 01:11 AM (EDT)
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9. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #8
 
   The only way you could top this is to tell it from the viewpoint of Kei and Yuri, but then you'd have to get into the literally crazed worldview of Kei at that moment, and I shouldn't wish that on anyone. Largo had to have been running the mother of all disinformation operations there to account for the insane amount of money he spent (not to mention the amount of time he expended on planning the operation over three centuries, but I explain that as being the product of the mother of all monomanically obsessed minds.)

I will say that I always thought that Gryphon literally had the patience of a saint to (a) renew his friendship with Zoner and (b) not only get back together with Kei but have it turn out that she's the mother of four of his five children. Granted, Kei really got her shit together after Twilight, but still and all...

-Joe-

Lover of fiddly and only faintly relevant background detail


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Gryphonadmin
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Mar-10-07, 01:44 AM (EDT)
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10. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #9
 
   LAST EDITED ON Mar-10-07 AT 01:57 AM (EST)
 
>The only way you could top this is to tell it from the viewpoint of
>Kei and Yuri, but then you'd have to get into the literally crazed
>worldview of Kei at that moment, and I shouldn't wish that on anyone.

Heh, yeah, no, I don't think I could manage that. Doubly so because Kei's state of mind at the start of the Exile is, as mentioned above, so out of character for her at that time that I have serious believability issues with it these days.

>I will say that I always thought that Gryphon literally had the
>patience of a saint to not
>only get back together with Kei but have it turn out that she's the
>mother of four of his five children. Granted, Kei really got her shit
>together after Twilight, but still and all...

What can I say? He doesn't look like much, but he's loyal.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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jadmire
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Mar-10-07, 02:27 AM (EDT)
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11. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #10
 
   >>The only way you could top this is to tell it from the viewpoint of
>>Kei and Yuri, but then you'd have to get into the literally crazed
>>worldview of Kei at that moment, and I shouldn't wish that on anyone.
>
>Heh, yeah, no, I don't think I could manage that. Doubly so because
>Kei's state of mind at the start of the Exile is, as mentioned above,
>so out of character for her at that time that I have serious
>believability issues with it these days.

Oddly, this actually helps make sense of Kei's mindset during the 2380-2388 period. If she's that far out of whack during the Exile, she's going to go through a hammerblow of realization (as she did when she found out that she'd been accusing the wrong one all those years) followed by years of agonized introspection, amounting to, essentially, "Jesus Christ, how the fuck did I go so far wrong?!" It really is going to take Kate's birth and Twilight to get her brainpan screwed on straight again.

-Joe-

Lover of fiddly and only faintly relevant background detail


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Gryphonadmin
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Mar-10-07, 03:55 AM (EDT)
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15. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #10
 
   >>Granted, Kei really got her shit
>>together after Twilight, but still and all...
>
>What can I say? He doesn't look like much, but he's loyal.

Thinking about this a little more, I have to say that one of the things I do still like about the parts of the released Exile stories wherein Gryphon and Kei cross paths - even, God help me, Altered Appleseed, which is so clunky and so brain-smashingly melodramatic (Christ Almighty, the Aerosmith scene, my fucking God, was I a 13-year-old girl?) and so out of step with the rest of the universe that I really ought to take it down - I seem to have gotten sidetracked, where was I?

Oh, right. Even in that piece, one of the things I still like, maybe even love, about the handling of their interactions in the Exile is that he never gives up on her. Even when everything's coming down around his ears, even when she's right up in his face trying to kill him. Oh, he'll defend himself, he'll cross swords with her, so to speak - it's not a total Luke Skywalker "I will not fight you, Father" trip - but all the while, all he wants her to do is stop for five seconds so he can try to make her understand that he's still in love with her. For a hundred years.

That's kind of pathetic, in a way, but it's also kind of sweet, and it says something definitive about the essential strength of character I always wanted Gryphon to have (and, by extension, I've always wanted to have myself).

And with that in mind, in honor of the late Brad Delp, here's the track for the end of that arc, in Crossroads:

----
Can'tcha say you believe in me?
Cant'cha see what you mean to me?

Every day I think of you
You're on my mind
Some things in the past
Are better left behind
Every night I dream of you
The image is as clear as day

Can'tcha say you believe in me?
Can'tcha say you believe in me?
You know that where there's a will there's a way
Can'tcha say you believe in me?
Can'tcha see what it means to me?
Don't leave me alone tonight
'Cause I still love you

We've had our time apart
And I knew right from the start
I could never change
The way I feel about you, baby
We can sit here all night long
And separate the right from the wrong
But love won't wait

Can'tcha say you believe in me?
Can'tcha say you believe in me?
You know that where there's a will there's a way
Can'tcha say you believe in me?
Can'tcha see what you mean to me?
Don't leave me alone tonight
'Cause I still love you

Ooh, ooh, still in love with you
You know I need you baby
To stand by me
Can't you see I need you?
Baby, I'm still in love with you

Can'tcha say you believe in me?
Can'tcha say you believe in me?
You know that where there's a will there's a way
Can'tcha say you believe in me?
Can'tcha see what you mean to me?
Don't leave me alone tonight
'Cause I still love you
I love you

- Boston
"Can'tcha Say/Still In Love"
Third Stage (1986)

In the UF universe, Kaitlyn probably wrote this one with her parents' long, weird story in mind.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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Tzukumori
Member since Jul-8-03
44 posts
Mar-10-07, 02:40 AM (EDT)
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12. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #8
 
   >Kei isn't that stupid. Zoner isn't that big an asshole.
>It's just all wrong <...> Ridiculous. Absurd.
> Redacted. Didn't happen that way.

Well, granted, you explained the circumstances in which it was written. And sure, it may not measure up to your current work today, but the only real solution (if you were to apply one) would be a MASSIVE rewrite. Like, have Largo planting seeds of doubt WAAAAY beforehand, with lots of covert black-ops to kidnap key members, plant sleeper suggestions in their minds to be triggered by the Musashi episode.. that's a huge undertaking.

I'll admit that the inconsistencies may be jarring, but for a communal work spanning a DECADE, I think The Crew has done quite well by their fans.

On the other hand, if you WERE planning a re-write... I'll be there to read it. ^_^


Cheers,
-T.Zukumori
=============================================

"What happened to this one here?"
"I did."
"Uh-huh... and how did you subdue him?"
"I know kung fu."
--cropped from Titans: Convergence by Benjamin D. Hutchins


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O_M
Member since Jun-19-05
184 posts
Mar-10-07, 02:53 AM (EDT)
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13. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #8
 
   >Kei isn't that stupid. Zoner isn't that big an asshole.
> Gryphon isn't the type to just split before the courtroom
>scene. And even if all of those things were somehow true, there were
>hundreds of other people in the area to act as cadmium rods to the
>freakout reaction, even if it got started in the first place. Hell,
>the other Eight-Balls wouldn't have stood for any of that. You'd have
>had a couple of them standing guard to keep Kei from trying to
>short-circuit the military-justice process while the rest of them
>scoured that planet for all the information there was to find. When
>Executioner showed up, you'd have had everybody snapping to and
>realizing that there was an appropriate time to be faffing around with
>these matters, and being under attack by a gigantic Star Destroyer
>= not that time.

>I'm not saying an enemy as ruthless, devious, and well-heeled as Largo
>couldn't have caused something like Sonfall and its attendant
>disasters to happen? But it would have taken a hell of a lot more
>work, and required a much longer timescale, to pull off. After nearly
>300 years in the field, the WDF command staff wasn't a chunk of glass
>that would just splinter into shards if you whacked it once in the
>right place. UF3 handles the whole situation as if it was just that,
>and as a result, it just doesn't work for me now.

Honestly, upon reading it just recently, I was struck by the same things you were seeing in the characterization, until just recently I realized that by virtue of outside fiction and the fact that the time period allowed for the SDF-17 to have a truly diverse species assortment onboard, simply placing some kind of subtle emotional manipulator(psionic, naturally, though I don't know Detians' resistance to such things), you could make the entire situation more plausible.

To quote one of the most accurate sayings of Grodd in the DCAU: "Have you ever said something you knew you shouldn't have? Something really hurtful? What made you do it? Too little sleep? Low blood sugar? Maybe you were just in one of those moods you get into every so often."

Given the number of infiltrators in the WDF at the time, one more with the ability to 'soften up' the command staff so that they'd react in precisely the wrong way when given the right stimulus couldn't have been beyond Largo.

>Oh, on a related note, you may notice that "Where Were You When the
>Fun Stopped?" directly contradicts one of the most awkward legacy
>pieces of the Exile setup, set up in UF3 and carried illogically
>through a number of Exile pieces - namely, the preposterous
>notion that Gryphon didn't know what he supposedly had done to cause
>the whole mess until nearly 70 years later. What, they don't
>have fucking newspapers in fugitive-land? Ridiculous. Absurd.
> Redacted. Didn't happen that way.

That was what made Gryph's reaction so plausible, in the short term. He's stuck on a ship, expected to stand trial for a crime so heinous his lover's pretty much ready to kill him herself....and no one will tell him what it is. Given the above purely speculative cause...him not waiting around to be tried by a(from his perspective)hung jury isn't *too* implausible.

As to the whole 'over halfway through the Exile and still doesn't know', that I'd wondered about, and need no longer do so.


-OM

"Crypto-lesbians? Sounds like someone threw a zombie movie into a blender with a porno."


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Matrix Dragon
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Mar-10-07, 03:05 AM (EDT)
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14. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #13
 
   >Given the number of infiltrators in the WDF at the time, one more with
>the ability to 'soften up' the command staff so that they'd react in
>precisely the wrong way when given the right stimulus couldn't have
>been beyond Largo.

Someone in the background just quietly nudging the harsher emotions up a few notchs?

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter


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trigger
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Mar-12-07, 07:22 PM (EDT)
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17. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #14
 
  
>Someone in the background just quietly nudging the harsher emotions up
>a few notchs?

That was my thought too, but then I thought - oh god that's jumping the shark.

Anyway, yeah, the writing is crap, but it sets a story about shattered hopes and really, that's why we care about the Exile. Without Sonset, the Exile is nothing but an extended chase scene.

So how to deal with the mistakes of our youth? Here's my suggestion:

Remember how Kei referred to her teenage days in SOS but wryly admitted she didn't have teenage days? Use your own backstory - that Ben, Kei, Zoner, and Yuri were really 19 in their minds - that they hadn't - until Sonset - separated from their creators. Then the ROS (which, I think is an apt metaphor) makes sense. They could have done half a hundred things, but they made the worst choices possible. On the other hand it was the only choice possible - otherwise, the UF verse would remain fictional rather than meta-fictional forever.

Growing up hurts.

t.
who thought the use of HST as a potential sanctuary and savior of Gryphon was brilliant. Kinda like what HST proposed for his lawyer, after it all went south. A mini story arcing from there to Megatokyo would be nice. Oh, and with a little judicious usage of the right chemistry Appleseed can become a really fucked up dream - you know, bat country.

Trigger Argee
trigger_argee@hotmail.com
Manon, Maccadon, Orado, etc.
Denton, never leave home without it.

"If we are marked to die, we are enough
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater the share of honour
God's will I pray thee wish not one man more" - Henry V, Act, IV Scene III


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Zox
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Mar-12-07, 08:55 PM (EDT)
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18. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #17
 
   > Use your own backstory - that
>Ben, Kei, Zoner, and Yuri were really 19 in their minds - that they
>hadn't - until Sonset - separated from their creators.

"separated from"--wait a minute. Hold that thought.

From Core 4:


"Which brings us to my point," Holmes cut in. "Somewhere
along the line, your universe diverged from their creative patterns.
You've outdistanced their creation. When I brought them here they
were hashing through the ending to the third part of their fictional
saga; just at the point where the Wedge Defense Force was shattered,
the original SDF-17 destroyed. You've passed that, hurdled the
challenge and gone right on toward your destinies without them.
"And that is a big problem."

The answer is right there, in the source material itself. The reason the universe went off course at that point is because nobody was driving. :)

Of course, once the creators actually saw the state of the universe as it had evolved, they were subject to the Blinovich Limitation Effect (as mentioned in Eyrie Productions Destroys the Marvel Universe). They couldn't change the past; all they could do was document it. Of course, from that point forward they could and did intervene to force reality (not Vaughn) back to the desired path.

And so, Doctor Who absolves the creators from any sin they may feel they committed in the latter part of Core 3 or the first part of Core 4... :)

---
Rob Madson, a.k.a. Zox
http://members.aol.com/LordZox/
It is said a Shaolin chef can wok through walls...


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Gryphonadmin
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Mar-13-07, 02:23 PM (EDT)
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19. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #17
 
   LAST EDITED ON Mar-13-07 AT 02:23 PM (EDT)
 
>Oh, and with a little judicious usage of the right
>chemistry Appleseed can become a really fucked up dream - you know,
>bat country.

I blundered on: "I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my marskman! He's not just some dingbat I found in Olympus! Shit, look at him! He doesn't look like you or me, does he? That's because he's a cyborg. I think he's probably Samoan."

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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Croaker
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Sep-15-07, 10:45 PM (EDT)
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21. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #14
 
   One thing that I've wondered about: Just how did GENOM set things up so heavily across the galaxy, to hit all the escaping WDF people so quickly, and - this is the key - with so much support from local governments? And how did the preparation for this go unnoticed, not just by the WDF but by others - Salusian intelligence, etc - as well?

--
Croaker
RCW #mc2
"When in doubt, shoot something. Preferably the enemy."


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Peter Eng
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Sep-17-07, 05:28 PM (EDT)
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23. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #21
 
   >One thing that I've wondered about: Just how did GENOM set things up
>so heavily across the galaxy, to hit all the escaping WDF people so
>quickly, and - this is the key - with so much support from local
>governments?

I can't say for certain, but I'd guess that bribery, blackmail, and careful placement of puppets covers the government part.

As for hitting the WDF people, all they really needed to do was throw a net around the SDF-17 and Utopia Planitia, and start tracking. However, I wouldn't be surprised if there was an infiltrator assigned to put tracking devices in the smaller starships.

> And how did the preparation for this go unnoticed, not
>just by the WDF but by others - Salusian intelligence, etc - as well?

There's a number of possibilities. Making up a fake operation to draw attention, simply avoiding covert ops for a century or so, heavy operational security, and bribery or capture of any spies are just a few ways to make it work.

Peter Eng
--
I'm only a Charter Member because of the DCForum upgrade, and because there's no rank below "Clueless F!wit."


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MOGSY
Member since Dec-27-06
124 posts
Mar-11-07, 08:08 PM (EDT)
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16. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #8
 
   >>It makes some of the background 'events' seem more probable, too.
>
>Well, sort of.
>
>...No, what truly bothers me most about the Exile today is that the
>events that set it up don't hold up to any kind of critical
>examination. It's the UF equivalent of Revenge of the Sith -
>everybody suddenly forgets all the important character traits
>established in the foregoing material and does the Wrong Things for
>plainly contrived reasons, suddenly shooting wildly off
>characterization, with the textual equivalent of the writer's gun all
>but visibly to their heads, because they have to in order to make
>the pre-determined plot work
.
>

Well coo, because I have to admit, reading UF3 and Exile now, as opposed to when I was also 19 and angsty in 1996, is a different experience.

The thing I have the hardest time with, is maintaining suspension of disbelief, in this - for the initial set-up of the piece to work, the personalities and relationships of the WDF core leadership (Gryphon, Zoner, ReRob, Kei, and Yuri), have to remain virtually "static" for almost 300 years, like you say. That is kind of tough to swallow, that after that long, they still act like well...angsty, disaffected college kids and cartoon characters brought to life :) .

There are ways to make that work - if you pursue the line of "the bond of trust between the cadre is the single point of failure, then you can use new stories or mini-stories to show Largo planting the seeds of doubt, breaking the bond of trust, in a scheme hundreds of years in the making, and then when the bough does break, moving so fast in "destroying the evidence" in the aftermath of confusion, that the survivors decide that they really don't have a clue as to what happened, and besides that, have many more important things to worry about in the meantime, like, survival. But something really, really heinous would need to be planted to justify Kei and Zoner esp, reacting the way they did. They would have to have a long-standing mistrust, or at least, some unanswered questions about Gryphon himself, as to where they could be believe, even if slightly, that he was capable, not just physically but mentally capable, of the massacre. If that's the case, he shouldn't have still be in uniform at that point, and Zoner shouldn't have been willing to let those fears slide...(sorry for the harsh words).

>
>I'm not saying an enemy as ruthless, devious, and well-heeled as Largo
>couldn't have caused something like Sonfall and its attendant
>disasters to happen? But it would have taken a hell of a lot more
>work, and required a much longer timescale, to pull off. After nearly
>300 years in the field, the WDF command staff wasn't a chunk of glass
>that would just splinter into shards if you whacked it once in the
>right place. UF3 handles the whole situation as if it was just that,
>and as a result, it just doesn't work for me now.
>

The other thing that bothers me now in reading UF3 is the "abdication" of the command staff...somehow that always struck me in lot of ways as...well, "dereliction of duty" and that always felt "out of character", by that stage of the game, it's...also accountable at some point, or should be accountable. I just can't see the WDF "cadre" abadoning "the bros" like that in the first place, esp when the TSHTF.

As far as the working relationships of the command staff...assuming almost 300 years in continuous service, in the same jobs...that's like being in the Guard or Reserves as opposed to active duty, where instead of moving every couple of years, one could be in the same unit, with the same people, in the same mission, for decades. You could use events like extended breaks in service, exchange tours of duty or other things to move them around a little. Perhaps something happens in one of those extended breaks that gives Largo an opening....

Still, after all that, there are scenes in UF3 and Exile that still ring powerful and vivid, like Sonset itself, Eve's singing, the death of the SDF-17 and the Executioner on Musashi, etc.

Cheers.

"A good plan executed now is better than a perfect plan next week" - Gen George S. Patton, Jr.


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BlackAeronaut
Member since Oct-21-05
221 posts
Sep-11-07, 08:01 PM (EDT)
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20. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #8
 
   >Kei isn't that stupid. Zoner isn't that big an asshole.
> Gryphon isn't the type to just split before the courtroom
>scene. And even if all of those things were somehow true, there were
>hundreds of other people in the area to act as cadmium rods to the
>freakout reaction, even if it got started in the first place. Hell,
>the other Eight-Balls wouldn't have stood for any of that. You'd have
>had a couple of them standing guard to keep Kei from trying to
>short-circuit the military-justice process while the rest of them
>scoured that planet for all the information there was to find. When
>Executioner showed up, you'd have had everybody snapping to and
>realizing that there was an appropriate time to be faffing around with
>these matters, and being under attack by a gigantic Star Destroyer
>= not that time.

Well, there is that... But then, there is this one scene from REDNECK: Die Hardly that sticks out in my mind...


A couple of days later, in an office deep within a tower in
Tokyo, Earth, a balding, overweight scientist knelt at the feet of a
dark-headed man in a black suit. By the hand of the seated man lay a
small bowl, in which lay twenty tiny blobs of greyish jelly, or
something jelly-like; bio-chips, originally developed by MannSystems,
Inc., specifically designed to alter the personalities of the implantee.
"So, Dr. Henries," the man known as Largo said, "you altered the
Trinetra chip to act as a sleeper chip, activated by remote, and decided
on your own initiative to implant these chips in twenty United Galactica
representatives, individuals chosen both for their influence and their
relative anonymity. You then failed to give your operatives sufficient
support and information to accomplish this entirely unauthorized
mission. And now I find the results of this failure printed on the front
pages of every newspaper, in the headlines of every news broadcast, in
every media outlet the United Galactica has to offer!"
"It was meant to be a gift, Master!" Dr. Henries gasped. "An
offering to your magnificence, to use as your will decreed! And it would
have succeeded, had this 'Redneck' person not come into the picture!"
"Well, Doctor," Largo growled, "that is what separates leaders
like myself from followers like yourself. One must expect factors to
change, unexpected obstacles to crop up. You failed to anticipate. No,
strike that. You FAILED. Period.
"Doctor, you have demonstrated in the past week both
insubordination and failure. I punish both very severely in this
organization. Tell me what possible reason there could be for me to
spare your life."
"But, Master!" Dr. Henries said, bowing at Largo's feet.
"Master, I am a true and loyal servant! I won't fail you again! Next
time- uk!"
Largo grasped the doctor by the throat and effortlessly lifted
him into the air, slowly crushing the man's larynx. When Henries stopped
twitching, Largo tossed the limp form into a corner, saying, "Wrong. The
correct answer was, 'There is none, Master.' Consider yourself
corrected."
Pressing a button on his chair, Largo summoned one of his
Security Bumas, who picked up the limp form without a word. Turning and
bowing to its Master, the Buma said, "What is your wish, Master?"
Largo handed the bowl of biochips to the Buma and said, "Have
these destroyed. No traces. Make sure nothing remains to link Dr.
Henries' little escapade to GENOM."
"As you wish, Master," the Buma said. "Will there be anything
else?"
Largo paused to think for a moment. Dr. Henries' basic concept
had something to recommend it... but next time, perhaps, it would be
better for the original creator to continue his work...
"Arrange a meeting with Dr. Mann," Largo said at last. "I wish
to discuss some... future developments... with him..." After a moment,
Largo waved the Buma in dismissal, and the Buma turned and left to do
its Master's will.
Largo spent 4.7 seconds considering possible plans, and then
returned to his paperwork. The matter of Redneck and Dr. Henries'
project had already vanished completely from his mind.

What do you think? Does it jump the shark in a flying bathtub?


Black Aeronaut Technologies
Creative aerospace solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News of this kind a danish requires."


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McFortner
Charter Member
152 posts
Sep-16-07, 05:46 PM (EDT)
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22. "RE: Where Were You When... : An Exile Mini-Story"
In response to message #8
 
   My whole take on the "Kei, what have I done?" bit was that Gryphon was trying to make her THINK about the whole thing and realize just how out of character it was. Kei was just going on a gut reaction and once she got started couldn't realize that was what she was doing and just kept shooting from the hip.

Sounds kinda like my first marriage, BTW. So you see, it can happen in real life. The whole horror of what had happened in the school just shocked people so much that their higher level mental functions locked up and they got the proverbial Blue Screen of Death. Once they rebooted, it was too late to turn back.

Michael

(BSOD. I can't believe I actually typed that without thinking of the pun.)



Michael C. Fortner
RCW #2n+1

"I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time."
-- Mark Twain



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