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Subject: "My Schoolgirls Is Fight: Further GuP-UF AU Musings"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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The Traitor
Member since Feb-24-09
1170 posts
Jan-15-23, 12:51 PM (EST)
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"My Schoolgirls Is Fight: Further GuP-UF AU Musings"
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jan-17-23 AT 09:38 AM (EST)
 
(As an aside, GuP-UF AU sounds like a 1940s German tank designation. You can almost see the Panzerkampfwagen in front of it...)

Several months ago I posted a prolonged examination of the tanks used by a fictional Armoursports school within the context of DSM Panic's tankery spinoff. While the tanks themselves - and their being piloted by the differently sane - proved of interest, the overall plot regarding the school and its environment did not. Ever since then, I've been workshopping the concept in the anxious blob of bacon grease between my ears that (I'm assured) passes for a brain if it's not too close to the light. While it does involve some more of the weird tanks and tank equipment of the Allies, because sometimes it's just fun to dredge up obscure armoured vehicles and give them to teenage lesbians, much more focus has been given to the girls themselves this time around. The previous attempt was rather putting the cart before the horse in that regard.

So, if you'll permit, I'd like to give a rundown of the tankery team of the Sir Cleghorn Stanley Boarding School for Young Ladies of Quality. At least I'm making a separate thread for it this time, rather than necroing a mini-story thread from nearly a year ago. =]

---

A Snapshot of The Gels: Report of the 2410-11 Armoursports Team


n.b.: for those who don't know, to a certain type of incredibly posh British person, girl is pronounced like "gel", but with a hard g.

Club Captain Jennifer Lloyd (Yr. 12) (picture)
Commander, A22 Churchill Mk.IV AVRE "Labrys"
Jenny never used to be happy. A tall, large girl referred to as "Jumbo Jen" by everyone at her previous school - including a few of the teachers - she was lonely and depressed. That changed when she was sent away to Cleggers by her mother, who had been there during the Bad Old Days of the 2380s and had helped with the takeover of the school by those alumnae who wanted it to be a school and not a borstal meant to churn out biddable wives for rich idiots. During her enforced isolation, Jen had become obsessed with armoursports, and threw herself into the Cleghorn Stanley tankery club like a bomb full of confetti. She's now the overall captain, the field commander of the competitive armoursport team, and clubhouse snacks provider. She's learning to love herself for who she is, too; it's a slow process, in the exact opposite pace to her lesbian awakening, but every scrap of progress is worth it.

Jennifer is the commander of Labrys, which has been the mascot vehicle of the Cleggers programme almost since its inception. This might have something to do with it sporting by far the largest armament on anything in the motor pool, or indeed any motor pool outside of Kuromorimine. Before being given command, Jenny had been the loader since she joined the tankery club; since this is a position that involves operating a spigot mortar firing forty-pound flying dustbins like a break-action shotgun, this experience might go some way to explaining the lunatic energy in her command style. Normal people, when fighting in sensha-do battles, do not want to stick their hands out of the tank while holding a large explosive. It might also be why she insists on bringing along a Universal Carrier with a Conger mine clearance device, which is basically a giant hosepipe full of nitroglycerin fired off through a minefield - or in this case, at tight formations of opposition tanks.

Club Secretary Charlotte "Char" Morrison (Yr. 12) (picture)
Commander, AMX ACG-1 with SEM 'APX2 B-style' turret and FRC 47mm, "Big Green Car"
Where Jenny is a vivacious and extroverted girl, at least within the environment of the armoursports club, Char (If you're half-French and named Charlotte and into tanks, you get nicknamed Char. It's probably a law.) is a far more formal and reserved girl despite the bright pink hair and seemingly permanent suntan even in the depths of January. She doesn't do a lot of talking except when on the field, acting as a forward commander for the cavalry tanks on the field undertaking flanking actions. That she is able to do this even for the team's amphibious vehicles despite riding a tank with some of the worst fording capabilities of all Allied tanks is proof of her exceptional abilities as a formation-level tank commander. If only, she opines to her diary and absolutely no-one else, she could speak so clearly when around Jenny. On the field of honour, she is an incisive and brilliant tactician; when talking to her crush, or indeed anyone she finds even remotely attractive, she is the epitome of bisexual disaster.

Char commands the club's ACG-1, a Belgian variant of the French AMC35 and an unusual vehicle even by Cleghorn Stanley standards. The notable features of contemporaneous French tanks were one-man turrets, inadequate firepower, a turn of speed that could be outstripped by passing glaciers, and overbuilt armour. The AMC35 had basically none of those traits, instead having a turret you could breathe in and a reasonable top speed for the time and armour that was sufficient rather than "this is designed to outlast Armageddon". The ACG-1, the version sold to Belgium and marked by the Belgian government as "heavy armoured cars" (hence the name), was even stranger. The Belgians had to basically rebuild the new turrets from scratch because the French managed to put the magazine and diascope in the wrong places., as well as fitting an indigenous Belgian tank gun that actually did something against German armour. Char's always had a love for the weirder vehicles, believing that the team should use its platform to teach about the less storied and more forgotten machines of World War II.

Club Treasurer Lisa Wyatt (Yr.10) (picture)
Driver, Valentine IX SADE with gap jumping equipment, "Shoryuken!"
Lisa is a very, very quiet young lady, and someone who actually likes being referred to as a young lady. She sets great store in being demure and ladylike. She takes tea at four o'clock every day, and can always be relied upon to have a plate of cucumber finger sandwiches with the crusts cut off during any conceivable event up to and including a mid-sized alien invasion.There is not a running joke that she grips the steering controls of her tanks with her little finger sticking out, because she does. And she considers it very important that she remains calm and demure and ladylike at all times, even - especially - when behind the wheel of a 16-tonne tank that she's driving like a stolen hot rod.

While Lisa's talent for finance and for sweet-talking manufacturers into providing discounted rates for constructing weird armoursports vehicles is what has kept her in place as club treasurer, the fact that she hurls a fully-laden Valentine IX around the park - and indeed often over the park - with the murderous grace of a diving falcon is what got her elected in the first place. The Gap-Jumping Tank is something that takes a certain kind of individual to make the most of, considering that otherwise it's a pretty average mid-War British tank with a load of weak points strapped to it. She is entirely in sync with both her commander and the other two tanks in her formation, those being the ones with the ramps that allow her to get even bigger leaps going. Shoryuken is one of the best-known tanks in their stable among interscholastic armoursports fans, which is exactly how the team likes it; not an overpowered cheat vehicle like the E100s Kuromorimine's fielding, the rotten bunch of vipers, but something with fun and flair (and pyrotechnics) that make the battlefield a more vibrant place.

Club Welfare Officer Araminta "Minty" Fitzwilliam-Smythe (Yr. 12) (picture)
Commander, Tank AA, 20mm Quad, Skink, "Queen Gizzard The Lizard Wizard"
Minty is one of the posher girls in the tankery club, which you might have guessed given that she's called Minty. She's blonde and willowy and generally the kind of English rose that gets put on the front cover of the school prospectus. She has perfected the difficult art of sitting there and looking like a pretty but gormless high-society heiress, which is no mean feat given her handicap of being a naturally gifted scholar whose passion for theoretical physics is held to a close second by her intricate knowledge of armoursports engineering and tactics. The latter has led her to craft some of the more devious ploys used in sensha-do, and is typified by her vehicle of choice. However, her most important duty is to make the club a happy, safe, and welcoming environment for everyone in it. She organizes Pride events, helps with mental and physical health advocacy, and offers guidance and support for the trans and nonbinary students at the school whether they're in the club or not.

Queen Gizzard, Queenie for short, is a Skink. They were Canadian vehicles designed and used as self-propelled anti-aircraft guns, mounting four 20mm Polsten machine guns that chewed through planes and soft transports but couldn't do much of anything to tank armour. Minty figured out, and later demonstrated in a training exercise, that they didn't actually have to. Loaded up with tracer rounds and boasting a serious combined rate of fire, the Polstens were superb for pointing out where an enemy tank was, and the Skink's incredibly fast-traversing turret meant they could keep directing fire for as long as was needed. In addition, the sheer noise of being peppered with 20mm machine gun fire from four guns at once was deafening for any tank crews subjected to Queenie's ministrations, massively reducing combat effectiveness and making them much less able to dodge incoming fire from larger guns. Queenie's now a feature of the team's cavalry tank operations, as well as training exercises with "Mosquito Dumbo", a Belgian T13B3 anti-tank tankette which (in accordance with tankery tradition) is generally crewed by the youngest club members. It's important to Minty that she's caring to everyone; she doesn't talk about why to anyone who's not her therapist.

Annabelle Yates, 2410 Alice Hopewell Award for Excellence in Melee Tankery (Yr. 12) (picture)
Gunner/Chief Engineer, M4A3 (76mm) Sherman Crab II with Mine Exploder T4, "Sound Goldfish Warning"
Annabelle is Hylian, but was raised by humans in a space habitat above the Crown Colony of Serapis Magna. The planet itself is a beautiful, untamed wilderness, and it stays that way due to 95% of the world's population actually living in a giant network of orbital stations in geostationary orbit that match the low gravity of the world below. It's probably why she's so damn tall. Being eight foot three and skinny as a rake and into armoursports is a tough mix, but she makes it work. Back on Station 12, they had a small tankery club which she was part of; however, things got a little more difficult for her after she transitioned, and she moved away from the all-boys school on-station to a girls' school very far away. She gets homesick a little and gravity pains a lot more, but she's thriving as herself in a way she couldn't over Serapis, and she wouldn't want it any other way.

Despite having the traditionally giant (and commensurately sensitive) Hylian ears, Annabelle found herself naturally drawn to the noisiest tank in the service. Goldfish is a Sherman sporting a British 76mm main gun, as was common during World War 2 due to the original turret weapon being, and I mean this charitably, a load of old rubbish. However, she also comes with a mine flail; a gigantic rotating drum covered in barbed wire and outfitted with flailing chains, all mounted on a hydraulically-actuated arm. When the flail is engaged, the tank has to turn the turret around to stop the barrel being torn off, and if you're doing any actual demining the top speed of the tank becomes about two miles per hour. However, Goldfish is not a minefield clearance machine. Goldfish is a melee tank. By positioning the flail so it's not digging into the ground, the tank is largely unimpeded, and so it's able to engage with enemy tanks whilst making a bloody awful racket, tearing up tracks and smashing bogeys and generally causing balloo, hulla thereof. As an added bonus, since the front of the tank is currently employed turning an enemy vehicle into a heavily armed cathedral bell, the gunner is able to cover the flanks and rear of the vehicle without impediment. Annabelle says she finds the noise of tank-on-tank action meditative, and really, who can fault her?

Clare Blackthorn, 2410/11 season "Most Valuable Pyromaniac" award for Explosive And/Or Rocket-Propelled Havoc (Yr. 11) (picture)
Gunner, M4A1(76)W HVSS Sherman M17 Whizbang, "The Vicar's Organ"
Clare is a comparatively new face, having transferred to Cleggers from Niogi under circumstances she doesn't like to discuss. What she has elected to share is as follows: she was expelled from Saunders Academy for a laundry list of things, some of which she did (for example, punching one of her bullies) and some of which she didn't (stop punching her before being dragged off of her by four teachers); she was ordered to attend a mandatory therapy course on Niogi which is to be continued here; she likes watching documentaries about canal infrastructure; that's it. Underneath the anger and bravado, Clare's a very gentle soul. She might love fire and explosions and so forth, but the thought of actually hurting someone makes her start crying. It would take a lot to make her lash out at someone, and indeed it did, but she's healing. She hangs around Minty's place a lot.

Clare's aversion to violence does not extend to violence conducted safely in a tank, which is probably why she's so good at it. She was given gunnery duty aboard The Vicar's Organ and took to it like a duck to water; not only is she a keen shot with the tank's 75mm gun, she has a natural aptitude for rocketry, launching devastating salvos from the tank's M17 Whizbang multiple rocket launcher. 7.2-inch demolition rockets are good at putting holes in stuff at close range, and the sturm und drang of it all appeals to Clare's sensibilities. She loves nothing more than watching the blossom of explosions through the gunner's viewports. They look like... victory. And they quite often are, especially against large targets like, for instance, a bloody E100 full of unconscionable rules-lawyering slimeballs. She's got a lot of anger in her, and she doesn't like it, and armoursport gives her an outlet that makes her happy.

---

I'd also like to list the motor pool again. This time, I've broken it up into squadrons, expanded the list a bit, and added a bit more detail for tanks we haven't seen yet. Here they are:-

Gold Squadron (command)
1: Labrys, A24 Churchill Mk. IV AVRE: Overall command tank for the entire team. She of the big mortar. Having what amounts to a giant break-action shotgun on your tank is a surprisingly effective deterrent, it turns out; one time she missed a Panzer IV by three feet and the shockwave took the thing out anyway. Tally bloody ho.
1b: Unnamed, Universal Carrier with "Conger" mine clearance device: An overgrown windsock full of explosives is also surprisingly good at dealing with tanks. Towed into combat by Labrys.
2: Someone Still Loves You, OBT-7-T flamethrower tank with Teletank equipment: Teletanks are an interesting footnote in the history of drone warfare, the first use of unmanned ground robots in a theatre of war. It was difficult to make the things work like normal tanks due to the complexities of trying to load a cannon with 1930s hydraulics, so the Soviets used them to disperse chemical weapons and - importantly for Cleggers' very normal girls who like fire the normal amount - flamethrower tanks. The T-26 was the primary teletank technology testbed, but a lot of other tanks were tested with it, up to and including the BT-7, and there was a flamethrower variant of the BT-7 designed. Having a giant robot flamethrower running around an armoursport field really causes more problems than it solves, but the girls are determined to field it anyway because it doesn't take up much space on the team bus and it's cool and it's a useful distraction.
3: Systematic Oppression Of The Grundys, Self Propelled 17pdr, Valentine, Mk I, Archer: It's named after a quote from a left-wing politician about a radio soap opera that's somehow still running in the 25th century, possibly to prove that there is no such thing as a kind and loving God. That isn't even the weirdest thing about this machine. It's a tank destroyer with a fixed gun... and it's mounted backwards. In context, it makes a certain amount of sense. The girls can, and indeed do, shoot-and-scoot with considerable ease, as they can get into position, ambush with a really heavy-duty British anti-tank gun, and bugger off without having to turn. It also keeps the machine's length and profile quote short. This is in context. Out of context, which is when audiences first see it in a 25th-century armoursports match, the Cleggers team's command squadron has a tank with the gun on back to front. This is one of those happy little moments that makes people love tankery, and if it doesn't then there's really no helping them.

Red Squadron (weird melee/close-quarters shit)
1: Alice Springs Eternal, A12 Matilda II Mk V Projector, Hedgehog, No. 1 Mk.I: A Matilda infantry tank that's secretly packing a load of extra heat in the form of mortars on the back. She's got tough armour and the firepower is surprisingly usable for a tank of her era. She's also named after Alice Hopewell, founder and Chairperson Emeritus of the Armoursports Club. A professional armoursports athlete and rich beyond the wildest dreams of avarice because of it, Alice uses her money and connections to get the school the deranged tanks it deserves.
2: Sound Goldfish Warning, M4A3 (76mm) Sherman Crab II with Mine Exploder T4: An M4 Sherman with a giant spinning drum on the front, covered in chains designed to make as much racket as possible, plus a gun that actually works. What more could you want from life? Aside from a new pair of earmuffs for Christmas to go with the other twelve.
3: Fix Bayonets!, M4A3E8 Sherman Rhinoceros bocage-clearing tank: Your standard, common-or-garden Easy Eight Sherman, with your much less standard giant serrated blades sticking out the front. They were designed to stop the tank from getting snarled up inside centuries-old hedgerows in northern France, but what they're actually used for is smashing into other tanks at speed. Fixy, she hungers for tracks...
4: Send Three And Fourpence, A22 Churchill Mk.IV with Carrot demolition spikes: The Carrot demolition spike isn't as powerful as other explosives available to WW2 combat engineers. However, you could detonate it from inside the tank, which is very useful in a sporting context.

Blue Squadron (rocket tanks and tank destroyers) (because they blue it up) (ah, it is to laugh)
1: The Vicar's Organ, M4A1(76)W HVSS Sherman M17 Whizbang: Command of the rocketry squadron goes to the most rockety of the lot, and it's hard to get much more rockety than this. Surprisingly easy to conceal during an armoursport match considering it's holding a box of fireworks over its head.
2: Noisy Cricket, RBT-5 with two TT tank torpedoes: There's a piece of received wisdom in the armoursports community that if you put light tanks up against anything that's not another light tank, you're handing your opponent free points. Cricket asserts otherwise, and has half a tonne of explosives spread across a total of two gigantic rockets by way of evidence.
3: Tiptoe Through This, A27M Cromwell VII Tulip: The Tulip system was basically air-to-ground missiles converted to be ground-to-ground missiles by dint of nailing the launch rails to a tank turret. A Cromwell VII is a perfectly serviceable cruiser tank in its own right, with an excellent turn of speed and good armour, but the rockets really add to its firepower even if they're not super accurate. Or even vaguely accurate. You get used to the firing arc though.
4: Nobody Calls Me Chicken, Chasseur de Chars Lorraine 37L: The Chasseur de Chars Lorraine was a converted supply tractor that had a dirty great anti-tank gun nailed to the top. It was a pretty reasonable anti-tank gun too! But the reason the girls field one is this: the Nazis captured the prototypes and used them so extensively that even now people make the mistake that the thing is actually an early German tank hunter. Chicken's commanders tend to enjoy pointing that out, usually after having put a hole in a Panzer from several hundred yards.

Green Squadron (flank attack)
1: Big Green Car, AMX ACG-1 with SEM 'APX2 B-style' turret and FRC 47mm: An obscure French tank that doesn't feel like a French tank at all and was arguably only made fit for combat by the Belgians. The commander makes it work though! The gun might be underpowered, but it has a kind of happy-go-lucky feel to it that is positive for all concerned.
2: Daisy Duck, M4A4 Sherman Firefly Duplex Drive: Daisy is one half of the amphibious contingent, an otherwise normal Sherman except for the Firefly parts and the ability to go swimming.
3: Paddle Faster! I Hear Banjos!, A27L Centaur IV Dw with applique armour and wading gear: The Centaur IV was converted to be a beachhead support vehicle for combat engineers in the Royal Marines at D-Day. Logically, the girls use Paddles here to support Daisy in flanking actions from unusual, unlikely, some might say ungentlewomanly angles.
4: Ladies At Work, AC3 Thunderbolt with QF 25pder: This look at the Cleggers' stable has been vocal about the E100 being a cheat machine for cheating cheats who cheat, but the AC3 Thunderbolt is completely different. For starters they actually built the bloody thing during the War. It was an extremely sophisticated machine for the time, and would have performed exceptionally against whatever armour the IJA could throw at it. It's fast, it's well-armoured, and the gun is exceptional, not just for infantry support but also with a great big armour-piercing shell. The surprisingly large Australian contingent at Cleggers forbade anyone putting corks on strings around the turret hatch. And they get violent.

Orange Squadron (Shenanigans)
1: Shoryuken!, Valentine IX SADE with gap jumping equipment: MY TANK IS FLIGHT! Okay, only briefly, and if we're honest it's more of a prolonged bounce, but Shoryuken here can get airborne long enough to really put the frighteners on anyone not used to their particular brand of bullshit tank nonsense. The rockets can also be oriented a different way to give the Valentine IX a frankly disturbing turn
2: O Angry Spirit Of Ricky Myran!, A22 Churchill Mk.IV Armoured Ramp Carrier with demolition charges and PIATs: The smaller and more normal of the two ramp carriers used in Purple Squadron, making up for its paucity of conventional weapons with a shedload of armoursports-grade PIATs. The stability also allows it to act as a firing platform for other tanks.
3: We Honour Your Rage!, A22 Churchill Mk.IV Great Eastern Ramp Carrier with demolition charges and PIATs: Ricky uses a normal ramp that folds out via hydraulics. This ramp carrier has a somewhat... different approach. The ramp component is rocket-propelled, with such startling force that the tank is actually pulled along behind the rockets a bit when the ramp deploys. Yes, your tank can get rocket punched by an embridgement vehicle, and indeed it probably will.

Pink Squadron (international weird shit)
1: Queen Gizzard The Lizard Wizard, Tank AA, 20mm Quad, Skink: Queenie, as discussed previously in this giant mistake, is a tank that sports four 20mm machine guns and nothing else. The explicit goal is to make the enemy tank crews get deafened by incoming machinegun fire, maybe touch off a few outside fuel canisters if they're lucky, and generally light up the target for a bigger gun to take it out.
2: Twins Out Front, Marmon-Herrington MTLS-1G14: It's got two guns for two shots and that makes it twice as good. Right? Well, twice as good as what is very much up for debate, but it's got a usable top speed and having a high level of firepower is still useful for putting damage on enemy vehicles. It was deemed by the US to be total garbage, but the Dutch still used them against IJA tanks - and if you're up against an IJA tank, you've got good odds.
3: Hello Kitty, Nahuel DL. 43: The DL. 43 isn't as good as people think it is, but it was and remains a hell of a lot more competent than a lot of medium tanks from the period. It sports a totally serviceable turret gun, a fine top speed, and the petrol engine is probably fine! It's fine. It's. Fine. Kitty here is often the first medium tank that younger club members learn to drive, and it does a good job of teaching them how to handle weird armoursports machinery.
4: Short Run In Peru, Tanque Ligero 39M: This is a Peruvian version of the Czech LTP, which will be better known to persons as the Panzer 38(t). It was an export version and made its way into what were, technically, Allied hands - Peru was a trading partner of the US, and Pearl Harbor made trade with Japan impossible, and so they nominally joined on the side of the Allies while not really having much to offer. But they did work, and the modifications made to them for Peruvian service actually made them a bit better than their European counterparts. That's all the excuse the girls needed to grab the weird South American light tank and power on to probably maybe victory. And it's a learning experience too! =]

---

So, there we go. Writing this all up took me about 18 hours, on and off. I just... had to get it out of my system, I suppose. Thank you for reading. =]

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

I've checked all the bloody formatting about six times so if something goes wrong now I swear to FUCK I'll.

cry.


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Peter Eng
Charter Member
1968 posts
Jan-15-23, 03:09 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: My Schoolgirls Is Fight: Further GuP-UF AU Musings"
In response to message #0
 
   >Lisa is a very, very quiet young lady, and someone who actually likes being referred to as a young lady.

After reading her bio, I imagined her voice coming over the radio:

"That was unspeakably rude."

The rest of the team is shocked. She's never put any stress on a word in their hearing, not even after the Cornish Pasty Incident.

Chaos ensues, as the opposing team learns why it is unwise to offend a very quiet young lady.

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.


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The Traitor
Member since Feb-24-09
1170 posts
Jan-17-23, 09:31 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: My Schoolgirls Is Fight: Further GuP-UF AU Musings"
In response to message #1
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jan-17-23 AT 09:31 AM (EST)
 
"They are brutes, ladies. Brutes of the worst sort. They ought to be taught a lesson in proper comportment."

"Lisa, what are you planni-"

*ROCKET BOOSTER NOISES*

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.


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