I am very sorry to say that this is no longer a going concern, and myself and my partner have separated. There had been problems, which I admit had been wearing, and we had decided to go on a break. But then... well, almost a month ago now... she had an Episode. I'd known she had mental health problems for a while, and I went into the relationship with both eyes open. And this episode was bad. Essentially, I spent the best part of a week preventing her from killing herself before I finally managed to get her into a hospital for treatment.

No-one, not even her closest friends, are blaming me. Some of them despised me when we got together, but having seen, now, what I had dealt with, that I spent a week making suer that she kept breathing after the initial overdose, a week of restr5aining her when she went after more pills, of hypnotising her at one point (under false pretences) to knock her out so more of the initial overdose could work through her system... even her father is giving me full support in whatever I wish to do next. The fact that she was only finally admitted to hospital after she had taken another overdose inside the hospital while waiting to be assessed with stolen tablets that she'd hidden in a pot of face cream... well, that was pretty much the final straw.

But I didn't end it because of her mental health problems. No, I've had to get out of it because after a week, she discharged herself. And the first thing I did when she came back... I had an anxiety attack. I had an anxiety/panic attack in the hallway when I saw her. The girl scares me now, and I can't live in that situation. I've also found myself more emotional- in the past, my friends have thought of me as being so reserved and controlled as to damn near be a Vulcan, or to have a supplier of Prozium- I have been told by my friends that after speaking to me, once or twice, they'd been on the verge of getting me help, never mind her. I'd be in a hospital now myself if I hadn't got out.

So now... now I am trying to rebuild and heal. I have some triggers now that I never had (another bad sign) and the thought of randomly meeting her makes me anxious. A female friend of mine (who I am very fond of) was napping in her front room the other day, and my first instinct? "Is she still breathing?"

So. I have had a hell of a month, and I am now doing my best to get back to normal. Whatever Normal is.

"It's difficult keeping up with the cross-continuity, but I think Cosmouse just gave The Saturnian Scraphunter his Ultimate Pacifier to use against Galactapuss..."

At this hour I cannot really come up with anything more than that.

On the plus side, and it is admittedly quite a small one relatively speaking, there's been new stuff while you were, uh, handling that.

Dang.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Also, don't be afraid to see a specialist yourself, especially if the anxiety & triggers persist. After an injury like that, the quicker you get it addressed, the better.

-D-