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Eyrie Productions, Unlimited
The Traitor
Member since Feb-24-09
1213 posts |
Oct-29-20, 06:55 PM (EDT) |
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26. "RE: Gallian Gothic Book 2"
In response to message #24
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Now this makes me think of some poor sod who's working as an Itinerant Troll Liposuctionist. Just some stumpy little bloke in a brown suit and bowler hat with a squashed nose and the kind of thousand-yard stare of a man who has had A Worse Day Than You. His name is Hubert, because of course it is. He has seen things and done things with gigantic, foul-smelling trolls that defy description. He made his own special extractor out of a fluted biscuit cutter, a length of garden hose, and a bicycle pump. He speaks twelve languages and can tell doctors where it hurts in a further twenty-six. He has broken literally every bone in his body at one time or another, including the little ones in the ears which are quite difficult to do. He drinks for free in every public house (at least those frequented and run by people who are, shall we say, in the know about supernatural affairs) from Arbroath to the Crimean peninsula, mostly because every barman in the know knows that people like Hubert have suffered enough. Then he tells them he deals especially with troll parts, and then the barman takes down the really expensive bottle of something pungent and brain-destroying and also asks if he would like a hug. ... I think this got away from me a bit. --- "She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards. I don't know what Gryphon would do upon meeting someone like Hubert. Possibly apologize. |
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Eyrie Productions,
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Benjamin
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