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Eyrie Productions, Unlimited
Gryphon
Charter Member
10710 posts |
Apr-22-10, 01:11 AM (EDT) |
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"The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
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I was just hunting around in the offcuts bin looking for something else when I ran across this and realized I liked it too much not to share it. In an earlier draft of The Fulcrum of Fate Part II, I created a different character who was going to be Bolo's investigator. Rather than having been ambushed and braincracked by the enemy, she was just going to be getting stonewalled by Ivan. Although I liked the new character very much, I realized as I worked on the sequence that my plan for her didn't work . It wasn't very Jedi-like for an investigator to hit a brick wall and just call for backup, and there wasn't going to be much tension or any action at all in a scene that amounted to Len getting Ivan to talk by being taller. So I trimmed this bit off, thought it over, and eventually settled on the course of action we saw in the released episode, with Bolo's investigator being Juhani from Knights of the Old Republic - which naturally led to her ending up fighting Len, because being introduced in the throes of that sort of Dark Side pseudo-fall thing is sort of her dharma. I hope to find a place to re-introduce Deshka someplace, but in the meantime, here's how she was originally going to be introduced in Fulcrum II - rendezvousing with Len in a Mexican restaurant somewhere near the spaceport where he arrived on Nar Shaddaa. There he was met by the faintly mind-boggling sight of a Rodian waiter in a sombrero, who directed him to a side booth. The person waiting there was a Chadra-Fan female, a diminutive furry creature with colorful robelike clothing and the big-eared, snub-nosed face of a giant fruit bat. Len slipped into the other side of the booth and said, "Hello, I'm Len. A mutual acquaintance told me you were looking for a hand." The Chadra-Fan grinned, baring many small, sharp teeth, and squeaked in an accented voice that reminded Len of the time he and Achika had gotten high on helium after a birthday party, "Hi! I'm Deshka. You must be Bolo's latest victim." She tilted her head inquisitively. "Do you like pina coladas?" she asked, pushing a large, garishly colored drink festooned with a paper umbrella across the table. "I ordered a margarita, but I think our waiter's a little deaf." Len regarded the drink a bit dubiously. As if summoned by the remark, the waiter reappeared, this time with a datapad at the ready. "Can I start you off with something to drink, sir?" he asked. "Coke, Pepsi, a margarita? Maybe some ginger ale?" "Uh, just water for me, thanks," Len said. Turning to Deshka, the waiter said, "Is there a problem with your pina colada, ma'am?" "It's a perfectly fine pina colada, I'm sure," Deshka replied, "but I'm after a margarita, son! A big one! With juma! Don't bring me anything in a glass smaller than my head. If your margaritas are too small, run to the Chinese place next door and get me a scorpion bowl. And we need some nachos. Run along, now!" When the slightly flustered Rodian had collected the pina colada and retired, Len eyed his contact a little warily and asked, "So... what can I help you with?" "Well, there's this junk dealer," Deshka replied. "He's got a shop a couple blocks over and about ten levels down. I've traced a couple of black-market Jedi artifacts to his shop, but I can't get anywhere with the guy. He's one of these people who can't quite believe it when a Chadra-Fan says anything more complicated than 'eeeeeee gimme my dreeeeeenk.'" "Ah," said Len diplomatically, for it was at that moment that the Rodian waiter returned with a glass of water for him and a truly colossal girly drink for his companion. Once the waiter had gone, Deshka took a sip of her giant margarita and shrugged. "Anyway, I admit it, -presence- isn't really my thing. I'm all about being overlooked, which makes it tough when events turn such that I need to put the arm on someone. So I asked Bolo for backup. I'm hoping the guy will talk to someone a little... taller." Len nodded. "OK," he said. Deshka gave him an appraising look with one twinkling black eye, the other having slid almost shut. "You think it's weird, don't you? The drinking, I mean." Len made a neutral face. "It's not my place to judge," he said, drawing a squeak of laughter from the Chadra-Fan. "Hee! You must've studied under Aldous Gajic. You sound just like him!" Drawing herself up impressively, Deshka went on, "Well, young master, I'll have you know this is a perfectly natural process you're witnessing. My people commune with the Force through the benevolent intercession of ethanol." After a thoughtful pause, she added, "Or -I- do, -anyway-." Len smiled. He wasn't entirely certain about her approach - he'd never encountered a Jedi anything like Deshka before - but he had to admit he liked her style. "Whatever works," he said. "Good!" Deshka squeaked, thumping the table with a tiny clawed hand. "Now. Soon as we eat, here's how we're gonna play this... " --G. -><- Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/ Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam. |
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Tzukumori
Member since Jul-8-03
86 posts |
Apr-22-10, 03:21 AM (EDT) |
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1. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #0
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> "Hee! You must've studied under Aldous Gajic. You sound just >like him!" Drawing herself up impressively, Deshka went on, "Well, >young master, I'll have you know this is a perfectly natural process >you're witnessing. My people commune with the Force through the >benevolent intercession of ethanol." After a thoughtful pause, she >added, "Or -I- do, -anyway-." This. I approve. Benevolent intercession, indeed. Off to commune with the Force in the same way, -T.Z. ================================================== "I believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone whose life gives them vodka and have a party." --Ron White, stand-up comedian. ================================================== |
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Apostate_Soul
Member since Aug-22-08
120 posts |
Apr-22-10, 04:26 AM (EDT) |
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2. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #0
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Gryph, I think you've just started a new mental exercise. "Races that should not become Jedi for the sake of the mental health of the galaxy." Volus, for one. "It's difficult keeping up with the cross-continuity, but I think Cosmouse just gave The Saturnian Scraphunter his Ultimate Pacifier to use against Galactapuss..." |
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BeardedFerret
Member since Apr-21-08
224 posts |
Apr-22-10, 10:05 AM (EDT) |
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9. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #4
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LAST EDITED ON Apr-22-10 AT 10:05 AM (EDT) >"Calm assurance: These are not the droids you're looking for." "Angrily: It's all Obi-Wan's fault. He is holding me back." "Wrathful: I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women and the children, too. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them." "Passionately: From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm with you again. I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you. I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating... hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me. what can I do? I will do anything you ask." Oh damn, I would pay large sums of money to watch an all-Elcor Episode II. Edit: Make that the entire trilogy. "Grief: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo." |
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Arashi
Member since Mar-12-10
33 posts |
Apr-22-10, 06:54 AM (EDT) |
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6. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #2
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>Gryph, I think you've just started a new mental exercise. > >"Races that should not become Jedi for the sake of the mental health >of the galaxy." How about specific people? "Halt in the Name of the Force!" "Mihoshi, the Force isn't a recognized legal authority." When in Danger, or in Doubt. Run in circles, scream and shout. |
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Eyrie Productions,
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Benjamin
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