PLANET OF ORIGIN: Irk [Mu Tormeganthis IV], Rigel Sector
GALACTIC DISTRIBUTION: Common

OVERVIEW

The Irken race is native to the planet Irk, fourth from the star Mu Tormeganthis (Galactic Standard Catalog #5929-492-AA04) in the northeast corner of the Rigel sector. Irkens are carbon-based bipedal sentients. They have a natural life span of approximately 700 Standard years, and upon reaching maturity (which takes about 5 years), they do not age as most humanoids do. They remain fully active with faculties undiminished until the day they die, which they know is coming about a week in advance.

The average Irken stands three feet, two inches tall and weighs between forty and sixty Standard pounds. They are roughly humanoid, with green skin, large featureless eyes which are normally magenta, red or violet in color, and two antennae atop their heads, which are somewhat large, relative to their body size. They have no noses or ears and their teeth all very sharply pointed. Irkens react badly to exposure to citric acid - it causes painful burns and can be potentially fatal.

Although Irkens have the usual two humanoid sexes, they do not generally reproduce by mating. Instead, genetic resequencing and embryo growth are automated. Irkens are not clones; each one represents a unique genetic sequence created at random (with error checking to prevent defects) by computer. They are decanted after a six-month growth period with basic knowledge of Irken society and language, technology usage, and galactic history and culture already imprinted. They are then fitted with the standard cybernetic equipment for whichever career path within Irken society they have been planned for and sent on their way.

Irken society is very regimented and precise, with a place for everyone and everyone, for the most part, in his place. Iconoclasts and rebels are rare on Irk. Efforts are made by Irken society's semi-automated maintenance structure to correct aberrant individuals, to a point; then efficiency steps in and more drastic steps must be taken. In the old days, this was almost always termination. Today Irk is more enlightened, and those who do not fit into its society are simply allowed to leave, which most of them are quite happy to do. This accounts for the fairly widespread presence of Irkens in galactic society, and the fact that most of those not found on Irk or on Irken government starships are somewhat odd.

RECENT HISTORY

First Contact with the Irken Empire, a polity of 11 inhabited worlds in 4 systems centered around Mu Tormeganthis, came in 2225, when the Irken Armada invaded and conquered the neighboring United Galactica member system of Torqii Prime. The UG Navy and Wedge Defense Force immediately moved in to liberate the conquered system; a brief war ensued in which the Irkens were discovered to have grossly overestimated their ability to prosecute a galactic conquest. Irk was taken by the WDF on April 1, 2226.

As had become standard procedure by that point, WDF Morale Officer Lieutenant Commander Derek Bacon was assigned as the Irkens' Galactic Acclimation Officer. After Bacon completed ten days of intense negotiations with Irk's co-dictators, Nivek and Treg (the Almighty Tallest), the Tallest announced to their people that there would be some changes in store for the Empire, but that the Irken race was not defeated - rather, it was "ascending to a new level of greatness."

To explain just what those changes were and how they would affect life in the Empire, two billion copies of Bacon's third book, So You're Not the Master Race: How to Cope with a Rude Awakening to the Realities of Galactic Power, were distributed throughout the Empire, and a cultural revolution swept through in its wake. The Irkens, who had been violent and conquest-driven, suddenly and wholeheartedly accepted Bacon's message of peace, understanding, freedom, and the sublimation of violent cultural urges by means of computer games. Within ten years, the Irken Empire was one of the Wedge Defense Force's staunchest allies. Irken programmers still make the best war games.

CURRENT AFFAIRS

Today, the Irken Empire is a stable Federation member state of 7.6 billion sentients, almost all of them Irken (the Empire freed its subject races in 2226). The Empire's main exports are defense products (i.e. weapons) and computer games. Irk's powerful armed forces are on call at all times to participate in Federation peacekeeping operations or assist the Wedge Defense Force; the Empire still maintains a separate mutual assistance treaty with the Republic of Zeta Cygni and the WDF itself.

Irken society is still highly regimented, as mentioned above, but it has become somewhat more liberal and enlightened since the Bacon Revolution (also known as the Coming of the Tallest of the Tallest). Nivek and Treg still rule absolutely, but they have been known to take their subjects' wishes into account. It's a very strange, arbitrary society by human standards, but the Irkens seem to think it works for them.

As a result of the Bacon Revolution, the Irkens are very protective of freedom and liberty even though, to an outside observer, they do not seem to have it. They are eager to help any group or species which is fighting against oppression or exploitation and fight fiercely to overcome any enemy they have set themselves against.

The Irken Empire possesses a high level of technology, slightly higher than much of the Core Galaxy. They have mastered force fields, warp and hyperspace drive, directed energy weapons of all sorts, and specialize in cybernetic augmentation technology, bioengineering, and automatic construction. Irken technology is typically compact, easy to use and powerful, sometimes too powerful.

MILITARY OVERVIEW

The core of the Irken military machine is the elite Armada, a fleet of warships roughly equivalent in power to a Wedge Defense Force expanded carrier task force. These ships range in size and combat capability from the Nivek class, comparable to a GENOM Ikazuchi-class command carrier, down to one-man Voot-class fighters, comparable to GENOM's TIE Avenger. Members of the Irken Elite are equipped with cybernetic backpacks featuring four retractable spider-like limbs, communications systems, automatic medical systems, and weapons.

The finest of the Irken Elite soldiers, an elite force within the Elite, are called "Invaders", a relic of the days before the Coming of the Tallest of the Tallest. Invaders are the most highly-trained, powerfully-equipped of all Irken soldiers, capable of defeating any adversary despite their relatively small stature. They are feared and respected throughout the galaxy.

SUMMARY CONCLUSION

The Irken Empire is one of the most firmly committed and enthusiastic supporters of the International Police and the Babylon Project, both of which the Tallest see as ultimate expressions of the Great Bacon's message of freedom and happiness. They can be counted on to help with all their considerable might in the event of any crisis, fearlessly and without hesitation.

END OF DATA EXTRACT
THANK YOU FOR USING THE
BABYLON PROJECT GALACTIC DATABASE

Well, that explains quite a bit. Extra points for the whole 'video games help people deal with violent emotions' bit.

Well, now we now for certain what side Zim's on

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Matrix Dragon
Rabid Crack Weasel # 123
Director of the Okatu Intelligence Division
Approach With Caution
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Left: Robotic Invader Assistant G.I.R.-1. Right: Invader Zim. (Irkens are not spotted; Zim is just dirty, because he and Gir have just crashed through the ceiling.)

A group of Irken Elite troopers. Foreground: Invader Zim.

VISUAL SUPPLEMENT CONCLUDED
THANK YOU FOR USING THE
BABYLON PROJECT GALACTIC DATABASE

yay!

--
Geoff Depew - Darth Mephron
Haberdasher to Androids, Dark Lord of Sith Tech Support.
"I find your lack of clue disturbing."
EPU RCW #1

(Now, to finish the article...)