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Subject: "This Does Not Happen In UCSP"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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Gryphonadmin
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19261 posts
Apr-05-13, 08:28 PM (EST)
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"This Does Not Happen In UCSP"
 
   LAST EDITED ON Apr-05-13 AT 08:29 PM (EDT)
 
but I'm posting it anyway because it made me laugh.

INT. DAY. SOUL FOOD RESTAURANT KITCHEN. MATT "GUITAR" MURPHY is working at the grill. As he works, MRS. MURPHY enters.

Both of them are ELCOR.

MRS. MURPHY
Annoyed: We've got two jive-ass honkeys out here dressed like they're Hasidic diamond merchants.

MATT "GUITAR" MURPHY
Puzzled: What?

MRS. MURPHY
Exasperated: They look like they're with the CIA or something.

MATT "GUITAR" MURPHY
Thoughtful: What do they want?

MRS. MURPHY
Incredulous: The human wants a piece of white toast. Dry. With nothing on it.

MATT "GUITAR" MURPHY
With dawning realization: Shepard.

MRS. MURPHY
Even more incredulous: And the asari wants four whole fried chickens and a Coke.

MATT "GUITAR" MURPHY
Delighted: And Liara.

MRS. MURPHY
Disgusted: Shit. They still owe you money, fool.

In the interest of full disclosure, the best part about this image may in fact not be the image itself (although I wouldn't bet against it, because elcor are always worth it), but the fact that it leads inevitably to the thought of Shepard and Liara marauding their way through the fancy restaurant where Garrus "Mr. Fabulous" Vakarian now works as maître d', trying to get him fired so that he'll rejoin the band.

LIARA
How much for the women?

BANKER
Wh-what?!

LIARA
The women. Your wife, the little girl. How much? (She leers at him.) Sell me your children.

GARRUS
(pleading)
Come on, you guys, you can't eat here. The soup is fucking ten credits. And it'll probably kill you.

SHEPARD
We're putting the band back together, Garrus. We're on a mission from God.

--G.
"I mean look at yourselves in those candy-ass monkey suits. Wrex and the Royaltones?"
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
This Does Not Happen In UCSP [View All] Gryphonadmin Apr-05-13 TOP
   RE: This Does Not Happen In UCSP zojojojo Apr-05-13 1
   RE: This Does Not Happen In UCSP Polychrome Apr-06-13 2
   RE: This Does Not Happen In UCSP McFortner Apr-06-13 3
   RE: This Does Not Happen In UCSP Bushido Apr-07-13 4
   RE: This Does Not Happen In UCSP Pasha Apr-07-13 5
   RE: This Does Not Happen In UCSP twipper Apr-08-13 6
   RE: This Does Not Happen In UCSP jhosmer1 Apr-08-13 7
      RE: This Does Not Happen In UCSP Gryphonadmin Apr-08-13 8
   RE: This Does Not Happen In UCSP SliderDaFeral Apr-09-13 9


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