"Oops! We're sorry, we don't have that in stock. Please speak to our associate, the guy in this back alley who smells pervasively and specifically of elderly pigeons. He will give you some nails and string. It will help. Do not question it. Do not question him. Do not question why the string is wet. Do not question why the car runs better. He offers a discount for anyone who will eat bird seed with him. Pigeon Man frightens us. He will frighten you too."
-- Definitely-Not-Tesla Automotive Parts Department

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"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.