I had the thought as I was writing it that it felt like something that would happen to someone in the pre-credits sequence of one of the darker episodes of Doctor Who...

>>All around her, the others put
>>down their newspapers and paperback books and began slowly converging
>>upon her.

... particularly this bit.

>However, I would deeply encourage you to consider making the plural
>form of Beria to, in fact, just be Beria throughout. Sort of a
>fish-is-plural-for-fish thing. I think it adds an extra little bit of
>style.

Heh. I actually thought about just completely bending (er, as it were) the grammar there and referring to them as singular the whole time, except in pronouns. :)

>>Cosmonaut V.V. Bondarenko Interstellar Spaceport
>
>Hah.

Trivia: I originally had her going to one of Moscow's existing RL airports, but then I thought, hang on, they'd probably have built a Proper Spaceport somewhere in the greater metro area in addition to converting at least one of the existing airports. Bondarenko is in the sort of northeastish corner of Moscow Oblast, which the one quadrant of Greater Moscow that doesn't have a major airport in it today. The Metro route and rail connection are derived from how you would get there in real life, though to get a train out to Shchyolkovo now, you'd have to walk across Komsomolskaya Square to Yaroslavsky Station, not just go upstairs in the Metro station and catch the spaceport express.

I think about this stuff even when what's banging around in my head is a creepy character moment like the train being full of Beria. It's a curse. :)

>I would suggest, perhaps, that you can maybe cut the middle part of
>the sentence; just make it straight up "and then, he drew his sidearm
>and shot her in the back of the head." Go straight for the
>punch without any warning or embellishment. But that's a very, very
>minor point and pure aesthetics on my part; this was WELL executed.
(...)
>I feel like Cass would have drawn on Boone. Just as a matter of
>course.

Hmm. On the one hand, these are both good points (as is the one about plural Beria). On the other hand, if I go with them now, particularly in light of the reasons for this expansion and Armistice Day, it's going to start looking like an audience participation precedent I really don't want to be setting. :)

On the other hand, what the hell, I did say this was a test post, and they're good ideas.

>Beria must be just... unbelievably good at his job in general.

Give the evil motherfucker his due, he survived 20-odd years as one of Stalin's chief flunkies. You didn't do that by not being in the habit of getting results.

Glad you enjoyed; have a nice trip. There might be some things for you to look at when you get back, depending on how finals week unfolds on our end. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.