[ EPU Foyer ] [ Lab and Grill ] [ Bonus Theater!! ] [ Rhetorical Questions ] [ CSRANTronix ] [ GNDN ] [ Subterranean Vault ] [ Discussion Forum ] [ Gun of the Week ]

Eyrie Productions, Unlimited

Subject: "The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
Printer-friendly copy    
Conferences Warriors of the Outer Rim Topic #32
Reading Topic #32
Gryphonadmin
Charter Member
19261 posts
Apr-22-10, 01:11 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Gryphon Click to send private message to Gryphon Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
"The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
 
   I was just hunting around in the offcuts bin looking for something else when I ran across this and realized I liked it too much not to share it. In an earlier draft of The Fulcrum of Fate Part II, I created a different character who was going to be Bolo's investigator. Rather than having been ambushed and braincracked by the enemy, she was just going to be getting stonewalled by Ivan. Although I liked the new character very much, I realized as I worked on the sequence that my plan for her didn't work . It wasn't very Jedi-like for an investigator to hit a brick wall and just call for backup, and there wasn't going to be much tension or any action at all in a scene that amounted to Len getting Ivan to talk by being taller.

So I trimmed this bit off, thought it over, and eventually settled on the course of action we saw in the released episode, with Bolo's investigator being Juhani from Knights of the Old Republic - which naturally led to her ending up fighting Len, because being introduced in the throes of that sort of Dark Side pseudo-fall thing is sort of her dharma.

I hope to find a place to re-introduce Deshka someplace, but in the meantime, here's how she was originally going to be introduced in Fulcrum II - rendezvousing with Len in a Mexican restaurant somewhere near the spaceport where he arrived on Nar Shaddaa.

	There he was met by the faintly mind-boggling sight of a
Rodian waiter in a sombrero, who directed him to a side booth. The
person waiting there was a Chadra-Fan female, a diminutive furry
creature with colorful robelike clothing and the big-eared, snub-nosed
face of a giant fruit bat.
Len slipped into the other side of the booth and said, "Hello,
I'm Len. A mutual acquaintance told me you were looking for a hand."
The Chadra-Fan grinned, baring many small, sharp teeth, and
squeaked in an accented voice that reminded Len of the time he and
Achika had gotten high on helium after a birthday party, "Hi! I'm
Deshka. You must be Bolo's latest victim." She tilted her head
inquisitively. "Do you like pina coladas?" she asked, pushing a
large, garishly colored drink festooned with a paper umbrella across
the table. "I ordered a margarita, but I think our waiter's a little
deaf."
Len regarded the drink a bit dubiously.
As if summoned by the remark, the waiter reappeared, this time
with a datapad at the ready.
"Can I start you off with something to drink, sir?" he asked.
"Coke, Pepsi, a margarita? Maybe some ginger ale?"
"Uh, just water for me, thanks," Len said.
Turning to Deshka, the waiter said, "Is there a problem with
your pina colada, ma'am?"
"It's a perfectly fine pina colada, I'm sure," Deshka replied,
"but I'm after a margarita, son! A big one! With juma! Don't bring
me anything in a glass smaller than my head. If your margaritas are
too small, run to the Chinese place next door and get me a scorpion
bowl. And we need some nachos. Run along, now!"
When the slightly flustered Rodian had collected the pina
colada and retired, Len eyed his contact a little warily and asked,
"So... what can I help you with?"
"Well, there's this junk dealer," Deshka replied. "He's got a
shop a couple blocks over and about ten levels down. I've traced a
couple of black-market Jedi artifacts to his shop, but I can't get
anywhere with the guy. He's one of these people who can't quite
believe it when a Chadra-Fan says anything more complicated than
'eeeeeee gimme my dreeeeeenk.'"
"Ah," said Len diplomatically, for it was at that moment that
the Rodian waiter returned with a glass of water for him and a truly
colossal girly drink for his companion.
Once the waiter had gone, Deshka took a sip of her giant
margarita and shrugged. "Anyway, I admit it, -presence- isn't really
my thing. I'm all about being overlooked, which makes it tough when
events turn such that I need to put the arm on someone. So I asked
Bolo for backup. I'm hoping the guy will talk to someone a little...
taller."
Len nodded. "OK," he said.
Deshka gave him an appraising look with one twinkling black
eye, the other having slid almost shut.
"You think it's weird, don't you? The drinking, I mean."
Len made a neutral face. "It's not my place to judge," he
said, drawing a squeak of laughter from the Chadra-Fan.
"Hee! You must've studied under Aldous Gajic. You sound just
like him!" Drawing herself up impressively, Deshka went on, "Well,
young master, I'll have you know this is a perfectly natural process
you're witnessing. My people commune with the Force through the
benevolent intercession of ethanol." After a thoughtful pause, she
added, "Or -I- do, -anyway-."
Len smiled. He wasn't entirely certain about her approach -
he'd never encountered a Jedi anything like Deshka before - but he had
to admit he liked her style.
"Whatever works," he said.
"Good!" Deshka squeaked, thumping the table with a tiny clawed
hand. "Now. Soon as we eat, here's how we're gonna play this... "

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II [View All] Gryphonadmin Apr-22-10 TOP
  RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II Tzukumori Apr-22-10 1
  RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II Apostate_Soul Apr-22-10 2
     RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II Nathan Apr-22-10 3
         RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II ebony14 Jul-19-11 13
     RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II Gryphonadmin Apr-22-10 4
         RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II CdrMike Apr-22-10 5
         RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II Apostate_Soul Apr-22-10 8
         RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II BeardedFerret Apr-22-10 9
             RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II Gryphonadmin Apr-22-10 10
                 RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II Verbena Apr-22-10 11
                     RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II Bushido Jul-19-11 12
         RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II McFortner Jul-19-11 14
     RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II Arashi Apr-22-10 6
         RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II Bushido Apr-22-10 7

Conferences | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic
Tzukumori
Member since Jul-9-03
95 posts
Apr-22-10, 03:21 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Tzukumori Click to send private message to Tzukumori Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
1. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #0
 
   > "Hee! You must've studied under Aldous Gajic. You sound just
>like him!" Drawing herself up impressively, Deshka went on, "Well,
>young master, I'll have you know this is a perfectly natural process
>you're witnessing. My people commune with the Force through the
>benevolent intercession of ethanol." After a thoughtful pause, she
>added, "Or -I- do, -anyway-."

This. I approve. Benevolent intercession, indeed.

Off to commune with the Force in the same way,
-T.Z.

==================================================

"I believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.
Then find someone whose life gives them vodka and have a party."
--Ron White, stand-up comedian.

==================================================


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Apostate_Soul
Member since Aug-22-08
155 posts
Apr-22-10, 04:26 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Apostate_Soul Click to send private message to Apostate_Soul Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
2. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #0
 
   Gryph, I think you've just started a new mental exercise.

"Races that should not become Jedi for the sake of the mental health of the galaxy."

Volus, for one.

"It's difficult keeping up with the cross-continuity, but I think Cosmouse just gave The Saturnian Scraphunter his Ultimate Pacifier to use against Galactapuss..."


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Nathan
Charter Member
1324 posts
Apr-22-10, 04:38 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Nathan Click to send private message to Nathan Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
3. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #2
 
   Pak'ma'ra.

Actually, given Barla Von, I can see Volus making quite credible Jedi, of the Wise And Knowing subtype.

Volus Sith, on the other hand...


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
ebony14
Member since Jul-11-11
429 posts
Jul-19-11, 02:09 PM (EST)
Click to EMail ebony14 Click to send private message to ebony14 Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
13. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #3
 
   Ewoks. Just... Ewoks.

Ebony the Black Dragon

"Life is like an anole. Sometimes it's green. Sometimes it's brown. But it's always a small Caribbean lizard."


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Gryphonadmin
Charter Member
19261 posts
Apr-22-10, 05:11 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Gryphon Click to send private message to Gryphon Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
4. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #2
 
   >"Races that should not become Jedi for the sake of the mental health
>of the galaxy."

"Calm assurance: These are not the droids you're looking for."

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
CdrMike
Member since Feb-20-05
715 posts
Apr-22-10, 05:42 AM (EST)
Click to EMail CdrMike Click to send private message to CdrMike Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
5. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #4
 
   >>"Races that should not become Jedi for the sake of the mental health
>>of the galaxy."
>
>"Calm assurance: These are not the droids you're looking for."

"This one assures you these are not the droids you seek."

--------------------------
CdrMike, Overwatch Reject

"You know, the world could always use more heroes." - Tracer, Overwatch


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Apostate_Soul
Member since Aug-22-08
155 posts
Apr-22-10, 08:27 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Apostate_Soul Click to send private message to Apostate_Soul Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
8. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #4
 
   I suspect that that's a rather different use of Force than the Jedi use...

"It's difficult keeping up with the cross-continuity, but I think Cosmouse just gave The Saturnian Scraphunter his Ultimate Pacifier to use against Galactapuss..."


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
BeardedFerret
Member since Apr-21-08
514 posts
Apr-22-10, 10:05 AM (EST)
Click to EMail BeardedFerret Click to send private message to BeardedFerret Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
9. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #4
 
   LAST EDITED ON Apr-22-10 AT 10:05 AM (EDT)
 
>"Calm assurance: These are not the droids you're looking for."

"Angrily: It's all Obi-Wan's fault. He is holding me back."

"Wrathful: I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women and the children, too. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them."

"Passionately: From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm with you again. I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you. I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating... hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me. what can I do? I will do anything you ask."

Oh damn, I would pay large sums of money to watch an all-Elcor Episode II.

Edit: Make that the entire trilogy.

"Grief: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Gryphonadmin
Charter Member
19261 posts
Apr-22-10, 01:05 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Gryphon Click to send private message to Gryphon Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
10. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #9
 
   >Oh damn, I would pay large sums of money to watch an all-Elcor Episode
>II.

It'd be even better than The Elcor Hamlet.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Verbena
Charter Member
771 posts
Apr-22-10, 10:54 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Verbena Click to send private message to Verbena Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
11. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #10
 
   >>Oh damn, I would pay large sums of money to watch an all-Elcor Episode
>>II.
>
>It'd be even better than The Elcor Hamlet.

Only a 14-hour production! Yeah, sitting through that advertisement was amusing...well, once, anyway.


"They say one should not speak unkindly of the dead, so I say, 'nice try'." --Lezard


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Bushido
Member since Apr-8-10
344 posts
Jul-19-11, 09:20 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Bushido Click to send private message to Bushido Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list Click to send message via AOL IM  
12. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #11
 
   14 hours, and that's just for A New Hope.

--------
Wedge Defense Force General Order 12: "Try to avoid freaking the mundanes."


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
McFortner
Charter Member
449 posts
Jul-19-11, 04:28 PM (EST)
Click to EMail McFortner Click to send private message to McFortner Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list Click to send message via ICQ  
14. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #4
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jul-19-11 AT 04:30 PM (EDT)
 
"We are not the droids you are looking for. By your command."

Michael C. Fortner
"Rule 37: There is no such thing as "overkill".
There is only "open fire" and "I need to reload".


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Arashi
Member since Mar-12-10
112 posts
Apr-22-10, 06:54 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Arashi Click to send private message to Arashi Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
6. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #2
 
   >Gryph, I think you've just started a new mental exercise.
>
>"Races that should not become Jedi for the sake of the mental health
>of the galaxy."

How about specific people?

"Halt in the Name of the Force!"

"Mihoshi, the Force isn't a recognized legal authority."

When in Danger, or in Doubt.
Run in circles, scream and shout.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Bushido
Member since Apr-8-10
344 posts
Apr-22-10, 07:29 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Bushido Click to send private message to Bushido Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list Click to send message via AOL IM  
7. "RE: The Cutting Room Floor: Fulcrum II"
In response to message #6
 
   Deadpool, can you just imagine it? He'd have a room full of Big Fire mooks dancing the can-can in honor of Bea Arthur.

--------
Wedge Defense Force General Order 12: "Try to avoid freaking the mundanes."


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Conferences | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

[ YUM ] [ BIG ] [ ??!? ] [ RANT ] [ GNDN ] [ STORE ] [ FORUM ] GOTW ] [ VAULT ]

version 3.3 © 2001
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited
Benjamin D. Hutchins
E P U (Colour)