I don't see you doing a better version!
This is probably because you are a rational human being, but whatever, the point still stands.
Except that it doesn't.
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory
FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.
I wasn't entirely serious about the whole thing, but hey, Awful British Sex Comedy is a trope for a reason...